My Little Pony: Wi-Fi is Magic
by sakikui
Summary: The Internet comes to Equestria. Shenanigans ensue.
1. Twilight Sparkle vs The Internet

The mayor of Ponyville had called a special town meeting. Everypony was buzzing with anticipation as to what could possibly have been so important that every citizen of Ponyville needed to hear it.

"I bet it's something bad," said Twilight. "Why else would she want to talk to everypony at once?"

"I bet it's to PARTY!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. She blew into a party horn that just seemed to appear out of nowhere in her mouth.

"Yeah, relax, Twilight," said Applejack. "She don't look upset."

"Attention, citizens of Ponyville," said the mayor. "I called you all together today for a very special announcement. Our town is about to enter the 21st century!"

"YIPPPEEEEE!' Pinkie Pie squealed, then whispered, "What's that mean?"

The mayor held up a small white plastic box. "This is a router."

"WOOOOOHOOOOOO!" Pinkie Pie shouted. "What's a router?"

"It's ugly," Rarity scoffed.

"I'm sure you have all heard about the Internet, the digital network that is currently connecting all of Equestria in ways we've only been able to imagine," said the mayor. "With this router, the first of many we hope to install in our fair town, all of you will finally be connected to the Internet. Consultants from Canterlot are here all week to help each of you get connected. Just schedule an appointment with a consultant if you want your Internet access in your home!"

The word "home" had barely passed her lips when the crowd rushed to the consultants who were gathered at the side of the stage.

"All right! Finally!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Cloudsdale has already had Internet for over a year now, and it's amazing!"

"I can't wait to connect with other animal enthusiasts," said Fluttershy.

"I can't wait to share my fashion!" said Rarity. They made for the line, but Twilight Sparkle turned the other way.

"Twilight, where are you going?" Applejack asked. "I'd think for sure you'd be excited about this."

"Excited? EXCITED?!" Twilight shouted. "This is awful! Haven't you heard what the Internet is doing?" They all looked at each other and shrugged. "It's putting newspapers and bookstores out of business! BOOKSTORES! OUT OF BUSINESS!" she shrieked. "People aren't even going to libraries anymore! They're just sitting at home and...and... _Googling_ things."

"Oh yeah!" Rainbow Dash said. "Google is awesome. You just type in a question, and it finds the answer for you!"

"Oooooooooh!" the friends all said together.

"That's not good! Nobody is taking the time to really _learn_ anything anymore," said Twilight. "Good quality learning can only come from books, and that's that," she said. "So no, I will not be getting the Internet."

"Suit yourself," said Rainbow Dash.

"You're really going to be the only person in Ponyville who doesn't have the Internet?" Rarity asked.

"That's right," said Twilight. "It's the principal of the matter."

"I bet that we'll all be as smart as you in no time," said Rainbow Dash.

"Never," said Twilight. "Not without books."

"I'm willing to bet," said Rainbow, "before those guys leave, you'll want the Internet too. Just you wait and see."

The next day, the girls all met for a picnic lunch.

"I can't wait for you all to taste my new dessert!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "I found the recipe on the Internet." She opened her basket and pulled out a pan of some kind of brownies.

"That sure smells good, Pinkie," said Applejack. "What is it?"

"They're cookie filled brownie candy cookie bars," said Pinkie.

"Cookie filled...brownie candy...cookie bars?" they repeated slowly.

"The bottom layer is chocolate chip cookie," said Pinkie. "Then you add a cream filled chocolate sandwich cookie, pour the brownie batter over the top, and sprinkle it with chocolate candies."

"That's insane," said Rainbow Dash.

"I've always wanted to try something like this," said Pinkie, "but I couldn't get the cookie part right. But I Googled it last night, and TADA!"

"Hear that, Twilight?" said Rainbow Dash. "She _Googled_ it."

"They do look amazing," said Twilight. "But that's one recipe. Pinkie usually makes her desserts out of the cookbooks I buy her. _Books._ "

"And I like the books, but," Pinkie said, "there are just soooo many more delicious recipes on the Internet! I can't wait to eat them all!"

"I bet I can reproduce this dessert using information I find in baking books," said Twilight.

"And I bet I can reproduce this dessert using the Internet!" Rainbow Dash shot back.

"Okay, now this is getting ridiculous," said Rarity.

They ignored her. "You're on!" Twilight said. "Pinkie Pie did it in one day, right? So by this time tomorrow, we need to have made the same thing."

"Deal!" said Rainbow Dash.

They assembled the next day.

"Here they are," said Twilight. "Cookie filled...brownie candy...cookie bars..." she wheezed, then collapsed on the ground snoring.

"Sorry," Spike said. "She was up literally all night, pouring through books."

"Ha!" Rainbow Dash taunted. "I made my bars in under an hour! I win!"

"Wait," said Applejack. "The deal wasn't who made it the fastest. The deal was who could do it, and you both did."

"Not so fast," said Pinkie Pie. "There's no point to cookie filled brownie candy cookie bars if they don't taste good."

They considered. "She's right," said Applejack. "We ought to have a taste test. The pony who made the _best_ dessert will be the winner."

Rainbow Dash nodded, and Spike consented on behalf of the sleeping Twilight Sparkle. Pinkie dug her hooves into both pans of dessert and scooped out large, crumbling pieces, then shoveled both in her mouth, one after another. The others waited in anticipation.

"Hmmm," Pinkie said.

"Yes?!" the others replied.

"The winner is...nobody," Pinkie declared.

"YEAH!" Rainbow exclaimed, then processed the verdict. "Wait, WHAT?! How can it be nobody?!"

"Neither one is scrumdiddlyumptious like the ones I made," said Pinkie, "and if they're not scrumdiddlyumptious, then I can't pick either one as the winner."

"So what Pinkie's saying is, sometimes you need to have a knack for something, and just reading about it isn't going to teach you that," said Applejack.

"At the very least, it probably takes more than one attempt," said Rarity.

"So it's a draw," said Spike. "Although Twilight is so exhausted, I can hardly say I'd prefer her way of doing things."

Twilight stirred. "Don't...need...Internet."

"I propose a second contest," said Rarity.

"A second contest? But Rarity, weren't you against this first one?" asked Fluttershy.

"True, but, you see, this contest was flawed. Twilight and Rainbow Dash both were trying to do something that they aren't very good at, so we couldn't get a good result. There should be a contest of pure knowledge," said Rarity.

"Well, yeah, but," said Applejack, "what kind of knowledge is there that Twilight doesn't already know everything about?"

"Twilight, Rainbow Dash," Rarity said, starting to strut around the picnic blanket, "I challenge the both of you to spend the next 24 hours learning all you can about...FASHION!" She flourished when she said the last word.

"Oh, I like it!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "I bet Twilight doesn't have a single book about fashion! This contest is going to be cake!" She took a piece of her cookie filled brownie candy cookie bar, chewed it, and spat it back out. "Oh, that is nasty."

"I...sure, I don't have any books on fashion in _my_ collection, but that's why we have LIBRARIES!" Twilight perked up at that word. "Alright, Spike, to the library!" She galloped off.

"Where'd she get all that energy from?" Applejack asked.

"Nothing comes between that girl and a library," groaned Spike. "Alright, same time tomorrow?"

"Woohoo! Party every day!" Pinkie exclaimed. "The Internet really _does_ bring everyone together!"

The next day, both Twilight and Rainbow were equally exhausted. Rarity sat on the picnic blanket with the stern look of a judge. "Alright," said Rarity. "You must answer a series of questions about fashion. Whoever gets the most correct wins."

"Agreed," Twilight and Rainbow said with a yawn.

"First question," said Rarity, "why were false eyelashes invented?"

Twilight raised her hoof. "Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!"

"Yes, Twilight?" asked Rarity.

"Producer D.W. Griffin wanted to enhance his actresses' eyes," said Twilight.

"Correct," said Rarity. "Where were neck ties invented?"

"Neck ties are from Crohaytia," said Rainbow Dash.

"What types of clothing are considered vintage?" asked Rarity.

"Anything from 1920-1960," said Rainbow Dash.

"Good!" exclaimed Rarity. "That's two for Rainbow!"

"These are too easy," said Rainbow Dash.

"Did you know the first one too, Rainbow?" asked Applejack.

"I, uhhh," said Rainbow.

"I read a book about how stage costumes influenced fashion," said Twilight.

"Let's keep going," said Rarity. "Why are there buttons on men's jacket sleeves?"

Twilight raised her hoof. "Emperor Neighpoleon decreed that buttons needed to be attached to jacket sleeves to prevent his soldiers from wiping their noses on them."

"You're kidding," said Rainbow.

"No, she's correct," said Rarity. "Next question. What is the name for a pony who collects neckties?"

"A grabatologist!" Rainbow exclaimed.

"Seriously?" Twilight asked.

"I read a fact page about neck ties," said Rainbow.

"When was the first fashion magazine published?" asked Rarity.

"1586," said Rainbow.

"Correct," said Rarity. "What is the origin of perfume?"

"In ancient times, female ponies melted scented grease in their manes," said Twilight.

"Correct," said Rarity. "When were sneakers invented?"

"1800," said Rainbow Dash.

"I read a book on shoes," said Twilight. "The name comes from the fact that they hardly make a sound when worn."

"Also correct," said Rarity.

"But that wasn't the question," said Rainbow.

"I knew that one too," said Twilight.

"You didn't answer first!" Rainbow shot back.

"Girls, girls, please," said Rarity. "Rainbow, you're ahead by one either way, so I'll award a point to Twilight too."

"That's not fair!" exclaimed Rainbow.

"Hold on," said Applejack. "I've noticed something. Rainbow is answering all the questions that are trivia facts, but Twilight seems to know more of the reasons behind the facts. I reckon Twilight could give us a whole detailed history of shoes."

"Well, uhhh," said Twilight.

"Why don't you ask Rainbow some questions about shoes?" asked Applejack.

"That's not fair!" Rainbow said again. "I didn't just study shoes. I needed to be prepared for all kinds of questions, so I skimmed around."

"And in skimming around, I reckon you missed the big picture points," said Applejack.

"And yet," said Twilight. "I can't remember half of the dates, and I didn't even read a thing about neckties. I didn't have time."

"So it would appear that both of you learned different types of things on the same topic," said Applejack. "Maybe the Internet is good for learning those quick facts, but if you want to know something in-depth, you need to turn to a book."

"That sounds fair," said Rarity.

"But I still won," said Rainbow. "The Internet still won."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Sure, Rainbow Dash. The Internet won. Now let's eat."

"I MADE SUPER DE DUPER FUDGEY NUTTY CARAMEL COOKIE DOUGH BROWNIE BATTER TRUFFLE CAKE!" Pinkie shouted.

Everyone crowded around Pinkie's basket in anticipation of the new creation, and conversation turned to other topics, but Twilight was unusually quiet. She watched as her friends, with their new hoofheld devices called smartphones, were able to conjure up information at a whim. It was like carrying a whole library with you at all times. It was like...magic.

 _ ********************ONE WEEK LATER***********************_

"Hey, has anyone seen Twilight?" Applejack asked at their next picnic.

"I haven't seen her since our last picnic," said Rarity. "Have you, Rainbow Dash?"

"No," said Rainbow Dash. "Pinkie, you invited her, right?"

"Yeah," said Pinkie, "but Spike answered the door. He said Twilight was busy." She gasped. "DO YOU THINK SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER?!"

"Spike would tell us if something bad had happened," said Fluttershy.

And as if on cue, Spike came through the bushes to meet them. "Fluttershy! Pinkie! Rainbow Dash! Applejack! Rarity!"

"Spike? What is it, darling?" asked Rarity.

"It's Twilight. I can't get her to leave the house," said Spike.

"Why?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Well, remember your bet last week?" Spike asked.

"The one where I proved the Internet was better than the library? Heck yes," said Rainbow.

"Well, she got the Internet. She got the Internet, and now she won't stop reading," said Spike.

"Reading? Reading what?" Fluttershy asked.

"The Internet," Spike said gravely. "She won't stop reading...the Internet."

"But...new information gets added all the time," Applejack said.

"I know," said Spike. "And you know how passionate Twilight is about information."

"Oh no," said Applejack. "This is bad. How are we going to get her to stop?"

"I'm on it," said Rainbow Dash. "Follow me."

They went to Twilight's tree house. It was mostly dark inside, except for the glowing box Twilight was sitting in front of, shaking.

Pinkie entered first. "Twilight! I brought some more super de duper fudgey nutty caramel cookie dough brownie batter truffle cake!"

"Uh-huh," said Twilight, pressing a key with her hoof. Her bloodshot eyes didn't leave the screen. She put out a hoof, and Pinkie gave her a slice of cake. She devoured it, her eyes still on the screen.

Spike turned on the lights and pointed to the router box. Rainbow Dash unplugged the router. The gang all gathered around Twilight in anticipation. She pressed another key, and the screen went blank. She pressed the key again, and seeing nothing was happening, got more frustrated, hitting the key repeatedly. Finally, Rainbow grabbed the monitor off the table and sat in its place.

Twilight was in a daze. "Wha," she said, processing. "What is everyone here for?"

"Twilight, we need to talk," said Rainbow Dash.

"Spike reached out to us because he's concerned for you, darling. And I can see why! Have you even slept since installing that thing?" Rarity asked.

"Well of course I've slept," said Twilight. "The body automatically begins to sleep when you go so long without it."

"So to clarify," said Applejack, "you've been sitting in front of that dang screen all day and all night."

"Well, of course I have! There's so much to learn!" Twilight exclaimed.

"You can't read the Internet, dummy!" Applejack exclaimed. "New information is being added every day!"

"That's why I can't leave," Twilight said with a twitch. "I can't miss anything. I need to know. I need to know everything."

Rainbow Dash slapped her. "Knock it off, Twilight! Get yourself together, or I'm taking the box."

"The box...you mean," Twilight gasped. "THE MAGICAL WI-FI BOX?!" She sprang to the router and wrapped herself around it. "NEVER! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE THE PRECIOUS!"

"HOOF IT OVER!" Rainbow shouted, trying to pry it out of Twilight's grip. Twilight hissed.

"Oh, honey," said Rarity. "This is not a good look on you, not at all, my dear. Twilight..."

"Don't take the precious," Twilight muttered, leering at Rarity.

"Twilight," said Rarity soothingly, "we love that you're passionate about learning new things, but we miss you, darling. If you're always in here reading, then when are we ever going to spend time with you?"

"What happened to friendship?" Fluttershy asked. "I don't think this Internet thing is magic at all. It's done nothing but tear us apart."

And Twilight softened. "Tear us apart...but..."

"Hoof over the box, Twilight," Rainbow said.

Twilight complied. "Wow, I'm so sorry," said Twilight. "How long have I been here again?"

"A week, dear. It's been a week," said Rarity.

"I haven't seen any of you in a week?" Twilight asked. She stared at the router with a dumbstruck expression. "That little thing...it was like having an infinite library...but it made me turn into..."

"A dummy?" Applejack offered.

"A hermit?" Rainbow said.

"A monster?" said Fluttershy.

"A crazypants?" said Pinkie.

"A geek?" said Rarity.

"A bad friend," said Twilight. "The way I was before I met all of you. And I vowed I would never become that again. I'm so sorry. Take the router. Take the computer. I don't want it anymore."

Spike coughed up a scroll. The girls forgot what they were doing, for Spike rarely coughed up scrolls from Celestia anymore. He handed it to Twilight.

 _Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,_

 _I hear that the Internet craze has hit Ponyville! I hope that you are enjoying the new technology. However, I've heard that for all the popularity the Internet has, there are many who believe we would have been better off without it. I know that the Internet offers many new opportunities for Equestria, but I'm curious about some of these downsides. So, I am giving you a new assignment. I want you and your friends to explore all the corners of the Internet and report back to me on the good, the bad, and the ugly. I will use this information to determine whether or not I'll allow the Internet to stay._

 _Love,_

 _Princess Celestia_

"A new assignment from Princess Celestia!" Twilight gasped. "But look what just happened to me! How can I be expected to explore all the corners of the Internet without turning into a dummy-hermit-monster-crazypants-geek again?"

"I don't think she expects you to _read everything_ on the Internet," said Applejack. "Just like when you got your first assignment, you didn't have to make friends with _everypony_."

"It seems to me like we've already learned something about the Internet," said Fluttershy. "Shall we help you write the first report?"

Twilight smiled. "I'd like that," said Twilight. Spike took a roll of parchment out of the shelves. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Aren't we sending a letter to Celestia?" Spike asked.

"Well, yeah, but," Twilight said, "she left an email address. Rainbow, plug her in again. AND DON'T LET ME CLICK ANY MORE LINKS."

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **The Internet. Where do I begin? When it first arrived, I wanted nothing to do with it. I was afraid of what would happen if it replaced books. Then, I saw how much information you could get in such a small amount of time, and I became consumed by it. I neglected my friendships in favor of trying to read anything and everything online, which is of course impossible.**

 **We have learned so far that the Internet is a double-edged sword. It is useful for many things, but it's easy to become addicted. It's more important than ever now for ponies to get out and spend time with their friends. Because wi-fi may be magic, but nothing is more magical than friendship.**

 **Love,**

 **Princess Twilight Sparkle**


	2. The Mane Six Make Dank Memes

The Mane Six's group chat was blowing up. Granny Smith opened the door of their farmhouse to shout to her granddaughter who was hard at work in the orchard. "Applejack!' Granny Smith shouted. "Applejack! That darn contraption of yers is a ding-ding-dingin' again!"

"Coming!" Applejack shouted back. She knew how much the constant notifications bothered her family. All she had to do was mute the conversation for a while until she got her work done, and then she could participate in the chat later.

When she opened the chat, she was greeted by a barrage of selfies, most of them from Pinkie Pie, with various modification filters, such as one that made her look like a dog, one that made it look like a rainbow was pouring out of her mouth, and one where her face and Gummy's had been swapped. Applejack rolled her eyes, typed, "What in tarnation?" and closed the computer.

Rainbow Dash viewed the exchanged and laughed. "Applejack is not amused," she typed, adding a crying-laughing emoji.

The three little dots appeared next to PinkaminaDianaPie's name. Soon a new selfie appeared. In this one Pinkie was wearing a cowboy hat like Applejack's and making a disdainful face. Pinkie typed, "WOT IN TARNATION?!"

Rainbow Dash laughed so hard she almost fell off the cloud. Then Twilight Sparkle typed, "WOT IN SELFIE FILTRATION?!"

"Oh no, STOP!" Rainbow Dash pleaded aloud as tears filled her eyes. She typed "ROTCL" for "rolling on the cloud laughing."

 _***********************TWO HOURS LATER*******************_

 **HonestApple: Very funny guys. Sorry I went MIA there for a while. Was out in the orchard and Granny Smith was getting annoyed by the notifications.**

 **20%Cooler: WOT IN NOTIFICATION?!**

 **PinkaminaDianePie: LMTO!**

 **FashionGoddess: What's LMTO?**

 **PinkaminaDianePie: Laughing my tail off :)**

 **Fluttershy: Oh, I like that one!**

 **20%Cooler: WOT IN ABBREVIATION?!**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Wow, that really works for anything lol**

 **HonestApple: Have ya'll really been doing this for 2 hours?**

 **PinkaminaDianePie: Wot in tarnation else are we supposed to be doing? teehee**

 **HonestApple: Literally anything else?**

 **20%Cooler: You're just jealous of my skillz B)**

"Rainbow Dash thinks she's so funny," Applejack said to herself. "I'll show her who's funny. There's bound to be an unflattering picture of her somewhere…" She opened her photo book and flipped through, then she laughed. There was a picture she'd saved of Rainbow Dash when Apple Bloom had been very young. Apple Bloom had tried to take a picture of Applejack and Rainbow, but Apple Bloom had cranked up the flash and was holding the camera way too close, so it was just Rainbow with a shocked expression on her face. Applejack scanned the photo into the computer and superimposed the words "WHAT IF SOMEONE ELSE IS 21% COOLER?" over it in white. She sent the picture.

 **PinkaminaDianePie: OMG LOLOLOLOLOL**

 **20%Cooler: Ok...first of all, that's impossible, second of all, LAME!**

 **FashionGoddess: Lighten up, darling! That is a hysterical picture! LOVE IT!**

 **Fluttershy: lol**

A new picture came in from Pinkie Pie. She'd drawn glasses on Applejack and added the words "I'M FUNNY. DEAL WITH IT!"

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Fascinating!**

 **HonestApple: THANKS PINKIE! :D**

 **20%Cooler: No fair! That's my line! :-/**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: So I showed Spike the "wot in tarnation" thread, and he thought it was so funny, he started saying it around town when he went to run errands. Then, I just got a message from Starlight Glimmer, and it was a wot in tarnation picture!**

 **HonestApple: WHAT?!**

 **PinkaminaDianePie: ...in tarnation?!**

 **20%Cooler: Wot***

 **FriendshipIsMagic: I think we might have discovered a new phenomenon! Mind if I try to repeat the experiment with the Rainbow Dash picture?**

 **20%Cooler: Ummm yeah I mind! It makes fun of me. :(**

 **HonestApple: Use Pinkie's picture lol**

 **20%Cooler: No hold on I'll make a new one**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: I sent her back Pinkie's picture**

 **PinkaminaDianePie: YAY! :D**

 **20%Cooler: You did WHAT?!**

 **Fluttershy: IN TARNATION!**

 **HonestApple: Wot* :'D**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Let me know if someone sends you that picture ok? This is so exciting! :)**

Rainbow had been taking many pictures on her smartphone as she floated over Ponyville. She scrolled through her gallery until she found one of Twilight, and she chortled in laughter. Twilight herself looked normal. She was saying something to Spike, who had a look of suspicion about him. Rainbow cropped the picture so that Spike was in the center, and she added the words "SO YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'RE GONNA TURN OUR FUN INTO A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT?" She sent it.

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Science is fun...WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT PICTURE?**

 **FashionGoddess: Awww, look at Spikey-wikey! 3**

 **Fluttershy: Discord sent me a deal with it picture.**

 **20%Cooler: Discord? Who else is friends with Discord?**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: He did play that game with Spike and Big Mac once. Maybe they keep in touch?**

 **HonestApple: That was fast!**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: They are memes.**

 **HonestApple: Wot in tarnation is a meme? Lol**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: There's a theory in sociology that a single idea can spread quickly through a culture and evolve. They're called memes.**

 **PinkaminaDianePie: Sorry guys, I was making more pictures. What's this mumbo jumbo now?**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Nvm...I'm calling the funny pictures memes, okay?**

 **PinkaminaDianePie: Okey dokey lokey! :) I made tons of memes! Wanna see them?**

 **20%Cooler: Heck yeah! MEMES MEMES MEMES!**

And thus Pinkie Pie sent a barrage of memes, featuring each of their friends, and was declared the group's meme lord. She created a forum dedicated to memes, and ponies from across Equestria participated in the fun.

"Fascinating," Twilight Sparkle said, scrolling through the forum. "Do all of these ponies know they are in the memes?"

"Ummmm," Pinkie Pie said, "I'm not sure. They're from all over Equestria, so it's hard to say."

"I wonder how everypony feels about being in the memes," said Twilight. "It would be interesting to track down one of these ponies and ask them. Oh! Look! It's Shining Armor!"

"Let me see!" Pinkie said excitedly. "OH! That one is very popular! It's called 'Ridiculously Photogenic Stallion'!"

"They have names?" Twilight asked.

"Mmmm-hmmm," said Pinkie. "When a meme gets used over and over again, the community names it. I didn't even realize that was Shining Armor."

"That is perfect," said Twilight. "I'll ask Shining Armor about the meme."

She pulled out her smartphone and dialed Shining Armor on FaceTime. His face appeared on the screen. "Hey, Twily!" he said happily. "Oh, wow, this is so cool! I can actually see you!"

"Yeah," Twilight agreed. "Hey, Shining Armor, I wanted to ask you about something. Did you know that you're a meme?"

"I'm a what?" he asked.

"A meme. One of those funny pictures with the white text."

"OH THAT THING!" he said with a groan.

"So you know about it?" Twilight clarified. "They call you the...what was it, Pinkie?"

"Ridiculously Photogenic Stallion!" Pinkie finished. "You're FAMOUS!"

"Heh-heh, yeah," said Shining Armor. "I mean, at first, I thought it was funny. But now all the guys make fun of me."

"Make fun of you?" Pinkie asked.

"But the whole point of the meme is to make fun of you, right?" asked Twilight.

"I guess, but it wasn't like it was mean or anything. I'm just getting tired of the jokes now. It's also kinda hard for me to go places. Everypony recognizes me from the Internet," said Shining Armor. "They want _more_ pictures of me. It's a hassle."

"Yeah, that was happening to Spike a lot too, after that 'you're telling me' meme went viral," said Twilight.

"Viral?" Pinkie asked. "Is Spike sick?!"

"Oh, no," said Twilight. "Sorry. I use the verb 'viral' to describe something that is shared a lot across the Internet. All of my new vocabulary is documented in the e-mails to Celestia."

"Does it ever stop?" Shining Armor asked hopelessly.

"It does!" Twilight exclaimed. "Actually, Spike is kinda bummed about it. He really liked everypony taking pictures with him. But Spike knew he was in a meme before it was even sent out."

"I didn't," said Shining Armor. "I don't know who took that picture."

"Jeepers creepers!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie.

"I feel like that's not okay," said Twilight. "Shouldn't there be a rule against it?"

"How would you enforce it?" asked Shining Armor. "It's a problem, I agree, but I really don't think you can control it."

"Even so...," said Twilight.

"I'll post on the Meme Lord forum," Pinkie Pie. "I already had to tell everypony they can't post meanie memes. And I still get them, but there has been less to delete since I sent the message."

"And I'll include it in the next e-mail to Princess Celestia," said Twilight. "Thanks, Shining Armor, Pinkie, you've been a lot of help!"

"No problem, sis! Good luck with your research!" Shining Armor said. He hung up.

"PINKIE PIE! LOOK!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash. They turned around and saw her in the doorway. She was holding out her phone to Pinkie. "Oh, hi, Twilight. Look! I made the picture MOVE!"

"WHAAAAAT?!" Pinkie Pie and Twilight exclaimed together. It was a seconds-long video of Tank eating a strawberry with the words NOM NOM NOM superimposed on it.

"It's a moving meme!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "I guess that makes me the meme lord now!"

Pinkie Pie glowered at her.

"Hm," said Twilight. "I feel like that's something else. Moving memes... now what should I call _that?"_

* * *

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **Things move fast on the Internet! Sometimes, a little _too_ fast. Memes, and now these moving pictures called gifs, spread across Equestria sometimes before the person in the picture even knows the picture was taken. It's funny how that can happen now that everypony is so connected. Some of us, like Spike, love the attention, but if you don't know it's happening, it can be kinda creepy! Everypony needs to remember that ponies on the Internet, even if you don't know them personally, are real ponies. They have friends, family, whole lives that can't be contained in one silly picture. No pony wants one silly picture to define them. It's always important to ask a pony for permission before you take their picture, and especially before you post that picture on the Internet, because once it leaves your phone, it might not be your own anymore! But the upside of all of this is seeing all of the creativity everypony across Equestria has. Each town has its own unique jokes and style, and things like memes can let everypony in on your joke. The Internet has the potential to bring so much joy to everypony's lives, if everypony learns to use it right!**

 **Love,**

 **Princess Twilight Sparkle**


	3. Rarity-gram

Rarity and Fluttershy met for a spa day. In this new era of the Internet, it was especially nice to just unplug for a while.

"Do you want to go out for lunch?" Fluttershy asked when they were done. Rarity already had her phone out, taking multiple selfies.

"Help me choose which one, dear," said Rarity, oblivious to Fluttershy's other question. "Oh! I'm sorry, how rude of me. Did you want to be in the picture too?"

"Ummm...no, thanks," said Fluttershy. "Who are you sending those to?"

"I'm not _sending_ them to anyone, dear," said Rarity. "It's Instagram. I've built up quite the following. Gotta give the ponies what they want! Ahh," she said, selecting a photo. "There. Okay, now what was that now?"

"Are you hungry? Do you want to get lunch?" Fluttershy asked, but Rarity was looking at her phone again.

"Ponies on the Internet are so nice," said Rarity. "I have the best followers. I should tell them that."

"How...how many ponies are you talking about?" Fluttershy asked.

"Let me see," said Rarity, flipping through the app. "Oh, I'm over two million now!"

"Two... _million_?!" Fluttershy gasped. "How?"

"Well, I don't know, honestly," said Rarity. "I just started commenting on fashion I like, and it turns out, other ponies thought I had good taste."

A couple of other ponies walked into the spa and gasped. "ARE YOU FASHIONGODDESS?!" they exclaimed.

"Oh, why, yes!" Rarity said, beaming.

"Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh," said the ponies. "Can we...can we...can we get a picture with you?"

"Why, of course, darling," said Rarity. "Fluttershy, do you mind?"

"No," said Fluttershy. Two phones were thrust at Fluttershy, and she took the pictures.

"And what are your handles?" Rarity asked. "I'll follow you back."

The ponies squealed. "Rarity is going to follow us!"

"Okay, okay, okay okay okay," said the blue unicorn. "Mine is ShoppingFreak."

"And I'm LovelyRita," said the white pegasus.

"Great!" said Rarity. "Lovely to meet you both. Tata!" She returned to Fluttershy. "Okay, sorry, dear. Say, are you hungry? I could sure go for some lunch."

At lunch, a new "hip bistro" of Rarity's choosing, Rarity posted reviews of the food and the decor. The owner of the bistro personally welcomed her, and they took a selfie together and exchanged Instagram handles as well.

"You know, you really ought to get in on this," said Rarity. "There's a huge audience for cute animals on Instagram."

"Oh, I don't want my picture on the Internet," said Fluttershy.

"You don't have to! Just take pictures of Angel. I'm sure she'd be a hit," said Rarity. "I myself was thinking of making a separate account for Opal. I get so many requests for pictures of her."

"Well, maybe that could be fun," said Fluttershy.

"We'll get started after lunch," said Rarity. She looked down at her phone again, scrolling through comments on her posts. Her food was barely touched.

* * *

"I'm worried about Rarity," Fluttershy told Twilight at the tree house that evening.

"Oh?" Twilight said. "Why's that? Sounds like she's doing really well on the Instagram app. One million followers, was it?"

"Two million," Fluttershy corrected her.

" _Two_ million? Wow!" Twilight said. "She's becoming famous!"

"She already is," said Fluttershy. "Everywhere we went, somepony recognized her and wanted to take a picture with her." Her phone vibrated.

"You think it's getting out of hoof?" Twilight asked.

"She was so distracted," said Fluttershy. "It's weird. It's like she's becoming less Rarity and more... FashionGoddess." Her phone vibrated again.

"Aren't you going to check that?" Twilight asked.

"Eh," said Fluttershy, "it's probably just more likes on Angel's pictures. She has 100 followers."

"Awww, Angel has an Instagram?" Spike asked, flipping through his phone. "But I'm supposed to be the cutest thing in Ponyville!" He pursed his lips and took a selfie.

"Hm," said Twilight, "things _are_ getting a little superficial around here. I'll go check on Rarity tomorrow. Thanks, Fluttershy." She magicked Spike's phone away from him. "And no more selfies for you!"

"BUT EVERYPONY THINKS I'M ADORABLE!" Spike protested. "I can't let Angel surpass me! C'mon, Twilight!"

* * *

A group of ponies was gathered outside of Rarity's house the next morning.

"Hey, look!" exclaimed a pony. "It's Princess Twilight Sparkle!"

About ten phones turned towards Twilight and snapped pictures, then turned back towards their owners.

"Umm...hello?" asked Twilight. "Can I help you?"

"Ohhh!" said a pony. "What if we got a picture of Princess Twilight Sparkle _and_ FashionGoddess?"

Excitement rippled through the crowd. "So you're Rarity's Instagram followers?" Twilight pressed.

"Rarity, is that her name?" asked one. "How beautiful!"

"Ooh, I think I see her in the window!" said another, pointing.

Ten phones whipped up in the direction of the hoof, but then they all sighed, because there was nothing there. Twilight frowned and knocked on Rarity's door. When Rarity started to open the door, Twilight forced her neck in and said, "Don't move! There's a bunch of ponies out here!"

Rarity pushed past her. "HELLO LOYAL FOLLOWERS!"

The crowd gathered around her, and the pictures commenced. Rarity pulled Twilight into the photos as well. One stallion actually got down on his knees to propose to her. She refused him graciously, and after most of the fans were satisfied, she invited the remainders inside to see the outfits she was currently working on. She didn't, however, invite Twilight.

In the days to follow, Rarity became increasingly more absent in her friends' lives. First, she stopped posting on the group chat. Then, she started responding less and less to their texts, and rejecting their offers to hang out. The last straw came when Rarity told Fluttershy they'd have to cancel their spa day.

"She's going to be have lunch with some YouTuber," said Fluttershy as Lotus Blossom massaged her.

"This has gone too far," said Twilight as Aloe did the same. "I think we need to stage an intervention, same as you all did when I went off the deep end."

"She's barely even home anymore," lamented Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy," said Twilight, "you said you made an Instagram account for Angel, right?"

"Yes," said Fluttershy. "It has five thousand followers."

"Does Rarity interact with you through the Angel account?" Twilight asked.

"Actually, yeah," said Fluttershy. "I mean, kinda. She's always complimenting me on Angel's pictures, and she let me know she couldn't come to our spa day through a private message to the Angel account."

Twilight took out her phone and opened the group chat. "I've got an idea," she said, "but we're going to need all of us on board to make it work."

* * *

Rarity sat with YouTube sensation Pretty Anwitty.

"When I look at your profile, I feel like we're already best friends," said Pretty.

"I know, right? How have we never met before?" Rarity asked. She looked at her phone and saw that she had been tagged in a bunch of new posts. "Hm, those look like my friends' screen names. But they don't use Instagram." She started scrolling through posts from Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Fluttershy. They were mostly old pictures of them all hanging out together with hashtags related to friendship and good times. Rarity smiled, liked the pictures, and returned to her lunch with Pretty.

As the day progressed and Rarity interacted with her followers and posted her fashion recommendations, she couldn't help but notice all of the posts from her Ponyville friends. They were having quite the day together back home: having a picnic, going to the spa, playing games with their pets, etc. She shot Twilight a direct message: "What is the occasion? Is it somepony's birthday? I will come straight home if that's the case"

Twilight responded, "No need for that. We just decided we wanted to all be together today. Have fun with your Internet friend!"

Rarity pouted. "Is everything okay, Rarity?" Pretty asked. "Did you get a mean comment? You know you can block people, right?"

"No, that's not it," said Rarity. "My friends back home are having a day together without me."

"Oh, is that all?" Pretty asked with a laugh. "You're a star now, Rarity. You're bound to miss a few things with your childhood friends. That's just how it goes."

"I suppose," said Rarity. "Gosh...when _was_ the last time I saw them?"

"Rarity?" Pretty asked.

Rarity scrolled through her texts. "Goodness! Was that really a month ago I had that spa day with Fluttershy? And I couldn't even remember if it was somepony's birthday today! Oh, me! What if I _have_ missed somepony's birthday?"

"They should be happy enough just to be friends with you!" said Pretty.

" _Am_ I friends with them?" Rarity asked. "They look they're doing just fine without me."

"You know what you need, Rarity? A good selfie session," said Pretty. "Nothing like a couple thousand likes to get you back in the spirits."

"I'm sorry, Pretty," said Rarity. "You're great, and this has been fun, but I think it's time for me to go home now."

Rarity found her friends at Twilight's tree house, all sound asleep from the day's activities. On the chalkboard were the words: "OPERATION GET RARITY'S ATTENTION" followed by a list of all the things they were going to post on Instagram. Rarity's eyes filled up with tears. She pulled out her phone and deleted the Instagram app.

"Rarity?" came a small, groggy voice. It was Fluttershy.

"FLUTTERSHY!" Rarity wailed. "Oh Fluttershy, darling! I'm so sorry! I've been a terrible friend!"

Applejack woke up next. "That Rarity?" she asked.

"APPLEJACK!" Rarity threw her arms around Applejack. "Applejack, Applejack, how I've missed your adorable accent!"

"Ummm...thank you?" Applejack said.

"Say something again, Applejack!"

"Wot in tarnation?"

Rarity wailed.

"Geeeez, Rarity, couldn't this have waited?" Rainbow Dash whined.

"NOOOOOOO!" Rarity cried, throwing herself onto Rainbow's sleeping bag. "I couldn't go one hour more neglecting my friends! I am so sorry!"

Pinkie Pie sprung out of her bag, and confetti flew across the room. "RARITY'S BACK! YIPPEEE!"

Twilight yawned. "Ohhhhh...that's...wonderful..." Her eyelids fell, and she collapsed back into her bed.

"I know this is not the best time, but...I couldn't stand knowing that you were having all that fun without me! And then to find out you all got on Instagram, which I know none of you really like, just to reach me! It's too much!" She swooned and fell backwards in the center of the floor.

"We don't enjoy doing things like that without you at all, but we had no choice!" Applejack said. "We kept trying to talk to you the usual ways, and you ignored us!"

"Oh, I know, I know!" Rarity cried. "That's why I've deleted that nasty app."

"You did WHAT?!" they all exclaimed.

"Rarity, we didn't mean for you to do _that_!" Twilight said. "We love that you're so successful on Instagram. We just got tired of you spending more time on the app than you did with us."

"The account is still there," said Rarity. "I just think I need to unplug from time to time, and focus on what's actually important."

The girls all hugged.

"This is all really great, but...can I go back to sleep now?" asked Rainbow.

"Yes," said Rarity. "My conscious is cleared."

"I think maybe you should write the email to Princess Celestia this time," Twilight suggested.

"How lovely! I'll do just that!" said Rarity.

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **The Internet has made it easy for average ponies to get recognized for their talents! It's kinda shocking to go from being basically unknown to having millions of ponies know who you are, and the attention can really go to your head! There is so much pressure to get more likes and more followers, and it seems like you can never get enough! However, this things are nice, but they cannot replace your real friends. I learned this the hard way. I was paying more attention to ponies that I hardly knew, and I took for granted that my friends would always be there. I got lost in my online persona. I was lucky that my friends cared enough to intervene, but I wonder how many other real world friendships are being lost to online ones. From now on, I am committed to balancing my time between my followers online and my friends at home, even if it means I have less likes and followers. Internet fame is not worth losing real friendships!**

 **Love,**

 **Rarity**

 **FashionGoddess**


	4. Spike the Reptilian Overlord

"TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT!" Spike cried, barging in on Twilight and Starlight's friendship session.

"What?!" Twilight exclaimed, annoyed.

"Twilight," said Spike, losing breath. "I just read the craziest thing. LOOK!" He shoved his phone at her. She read:

 **FLAT EARTH SOCIETY**

 **10 BEST REASONS THE WORLD IS FLAT!**

She threw her head back and laughed. "Oh, that's hilarious! Check this out, Starlight!"

Starlight looked over Twilight's shoulder and chuckled. They scrolled through the reasons and laughed harder and harder at each one.

Spike furrowed his brow. "I'm confused. What's so funny?"

Twilight wiped away tears. "Thanks for this, Spike. I needed a good laugh."

"It's not supposed to be funny," said Spike. "Don't you think it makes sense?"

"Makes sense! Oh no, Spike, don't fall for this. It's clearly a joke," said Twilight.

"Well, actually," said Starlight, "I'd bet anything the author of this article believes every word it says."

Twilight read from the article: "'The pegasi are the guardians of the Round Earth Conspiracy, fabricating images of curved horizons to keep us who are bound to the surface ignorant.' Come on, Spike. You can't possibly think every pegasus is trying to cover up...what exactly is it?"

"The flatness of the Earth," Spike said ominously.

"And if that were true...what exactly would the point be of keeping it secret?" Twilight pressed.

"You don't know, do you? That's the scary part. Nobody actually knows," Spike said. He took the phone back and walked out of the room shuddering.

"But...BUT WE DO KNOW!" Twilight shouted at him. "Okay, that was weird."

"I had a feeling something like this would happen," said Starlight.

"Something like what?" Twilight asked.

"As a pony who used to brainwash other ponies...the Internet is kind of a gift to fringe thinkers," said Starlight. "If it had been available to me, back when I was making my village of equality, I probably would have had a large city."

"Oh, I see your point," said Twilight. "You can reach more susceptible minds through the Internet in a very short period of time. Oh, no. Spike is one of those susceptible minds. I need to set him straight right away."

"That might not be so easy. Sounds like he's already convinced himself," said Starlight.

"But all I need to do is show him all the proof to the contrary, right?" asked Twilight.

"You would think, but, when you're in that mindset, you tend to ignore all evidence to the contrary. Sounds like the author of that article had all the counterarguments already figured out," said Starlight.

"So what do I do?" asked Twilight.

"Don't freak out yet," said Starlight. "Let him fumble around as long as he doesn't go too far."

* * *

"RAINBOW DASH! RAINBOW DASH!" Spike shouted.

Rainbow rolled over on her cloud. "What's up, Spike?"

"Come down," he said. "I want to talk to you about something." She sighed, but obliged. Spike thrust the phone at her. She read and giggled internally. "Well?" asked Spike. "Do we gotcha, or do we gotcha?"

 _Oh, Spike, Spike,_ Spike, Rainbow thought, _you chose the wrong pegasus to ask._ "Oh...wow!" Rainbow exclaimed. "I can't believe you all figured it out!"

"AHA! So it _is_ true!" Spike cried.

"Shhhh!" Rainbow said, slapping her hoof over his mouth. "Don't blow it, kid!"

"Oh, I'm blowing it! I'm gonna blow it from the rooftops! THE EARTH IS FLAT! THE PEGASI ARE LYING TO US!"

Her hoof clapped down on his mouth again. "Well, I suppose it was going to get out eventually," she said with a sly smirk,"about the flat earth and the spelltrails."

"Spelltrails?" Spike asked. "What's that?"

"You don't know about the spelltrails?" Rainbow asked, pretending to be terrified. "Oh, no! I've said too much! Forget you talked to me, kid!" She tapped him lightly on the head and returned to her cloud.

Spike sat down and opened up Google. He typed "spelltrail" into the box. A picture of a pegasus with a stream of wind trailing behind her appeared with the headline:

 **PEGASUS RACE ENGINEERED TO SPREAD A MAGICAL SUBSTANCE TO REMOVE OUR POWERS!**

 **What if I told you, at one time, all Ponies were Alicorns?! What happened? GENETIC ENGINEERING, that's what! Our so-called "beloved princesses", Celestia and Luna, hence to be referred to as the MONARCHY released a magical substance into the air that deteriorated our genes so that no pony born had both wings and horns except for the MONARCHY. This allows the MONARCHY to decide who among us is worthy of such an honor. When a pony is deemed worthy, they lift the spell, and their true form is revealed as with the recent Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle.**

 **The Pegasi have been unwittingly keeping this spell active and keeping us oppressed. Watch a pegasus fly, and you will see a streak behind them, this is the opression substance being released into the atmosphere to ensure the spell remains active. This is why they allowed the Pegasus race to still have wings. Some hAVE also theorized that te opresion susbstance also works gainst the male ponies, keeping them dumb laborers to serve the MATRIARCHY!**

"Oh. My. GODDESSES!" Spike gasped. "RAINBOW! RAINBOW!" He looked up at the cloud, but Rainbow was gone.

* * *

Rainbow Dash knocked on Twilight's door. Twilight and Starlight greeted her. "Hey, Twilight, Starlight. Hey, so, I just talked to Spike," Rainbow started.

"Oh, no," said Twilight. "Did he try to tell you the earth was flat?"

"Yeah," she said.

"So, you set him straight, then?" Twilight asked.

"Well, ummmm," Rainbow said, "I might have told him to do some more research on his own?"

"Oh, good," said Twilight. "Once he realizes no other sources can verify what he's been reading, he'll surely..."

"DOWN WITH THE MONARCHY!" Spike shouted, bursting through the door. He was wearing a tinfoil hat.

"Ohhhh, okay," whispered Starlight. "This is too far."

"Thanks, Starlight," Twilight groaned. "Ummm...Spike...what are you wearing?"

"This hat will block the mind control waves that are keeping us all complacent with the Monarchy! Rainbow, Starlight, you ought to be wearing them too!" Spike exclaimed. "And as for you...PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE...!"

"As for me? As for me?" Twilight fumbled. "What did I do? LOOK AT YOURSELF, SPIKE!"

"You're an Alicorn! You're part of the Monarchy! YOU ARE THE OPPRESSOR!" Spike shouted. "And I, for one, will not be a pawn in your game any longer! I am going to find my fellow reptilians that YOUR KIND overthrew in ancient times! We will take back what is ours! DOWN WITH THE MONARCHY! DOWN WITH THE MATRIARCHY! DOWN WITH THE ILLUMINATI!"

"What...the...heck!" Twilight said.

"Rainbow, Starlight, just answer me one question," said Spike. "Are you with me, or are you part of the Illuminati?! Rainbow, I'm pretty sure I already know your answer, PEGASUS!"

"What...what is the Illuminati?" Starlight asked.

"The Monarchy's secret support group," said Spike, handing her a pamphlet. "Here's some literature. STOP USING YOUR PHONES! THE INTERNET IS AN INSTRUMENT OF THE MONARCHY!"

"If the Internet is the Instrument of the Monarchy, then how did you find all of this information _on the Internet?_ " Twilight asked Spike.

Spike looked at her blankly, then glared. "The truth will not be silenced." He shuffled out of the door.

"Oops," said Rainbow.

"Oops? OOPS!? What do you mean, oops?" Twilight asked.

"I might have thought the flat earth thing was kinda funny, and I told him he should look up spelltrails," Rainbow confessed.

"What's a spelltrail?" asked Twilight.

"The streaks left behind by flying pegasi contain magical properties that suppress alicorn traits in ponies," said Starlight. "I mean, so the theory goes."

Twilight groaned and dropped her face into the table.

A week passed, and Spike had not returned to the tree house. Twilight and her friends had gone as far as they could looking for him.

"He's gone," Twilight moaned. "He's joined a colony somewhere."

"I'm so sorry," said Starlight.

The computer pinged. Twilight opened her email. "It's from Celestia," said Twilight. She read. "Oh my gosh! They found Spike!"

"Oh good!" said Starlight.

"Oh _no!"_ Twilight groaned. "Look." She flipped the monitor to Starlight. Celestia had sent a picture of a mob of ponies outside of the castle wearing tinfoil hats, and Spike was in the center of them holding a "DOWN WITH THE MATRIARCHY!" sign.

"Well," said Starlight, "at least you know where he is."

"I've gotta go," said Twilight. "Sorry...this keeps interrupting our lessons."

"It's fine," said Starlight. "Actually, I think I should come with. I get these kinds of ponies, since I was one of them."

"You're right," said Twilight. "Thanks, Starlight."

They got in the hot air balloon and flew to the Canterlot castle. Knights escorted them to Princess Celestia.

"Twilight Sparkle! Starlight Glimmer! How nice to see you both," said Celestia.

"Celestia," Twilight and Starlight said, bowing.

"Celestia, I got your email about Spike. Have you seen him again?" Twilight asked.

"Spike appears every day with the protesters," said Celestia. "They've become quite the nuisance here."

Shouting was heard outside. Celestia, Twilight, and Starlight went to the window. The crowd had gathered again with their signs, calling, "DOWN WITH THE MONARCHY! DOWN WITH THE MATRIARCHY! DOWN WITH THE ILLUMINATI!" Knights stood watch, keeping them separated from the general public. Some ponies threw fruits and vegetables at them.

"It makes me so sad," said Celestia. "I tried to talk to them, but they only shouted nonsense at me. I don't understand what they want."

"I don't think that _they_ understand what they want," said Twilight.

"Celestia, you've known Spike since he hatched, right?" asked Starlight.

"Yes," said Celestia. "He's always been just the sweetest little dragon."

"Twilight, go get Spike and bring him here," said Starlight. "We need to separate him from the mob. If he can talk to Celestia one on one, we'll force him to face reality and remember who she really is."

"Okay," said Twilight. "I sure hope you're right!"

Twilight was escorted out of the castle and down to the mob. When the mob saw her, they turned to her and started shouting unintelligible things. She ignored them and levitated Spike away from the crowd.

"THERE WE SEE THE MATRIARCHY IN ACTION!" shouted a plump, brown stallion in the mob. "SEE HOW SHE OPPRESSES THE REPTILIAN!"

"DOWN WITH THE MONARCHY! DOWN THE MATRIARCHY! DOWN WITH THE ILLUMINATI!" the crowd shouted.

"PONIES OF THE TINFOIL HATS!" shouted Twilight. "I COME IN PEACE!"

"NEVER!" a blue mare who looked like she hadn't bathed in a month screamed.

"WE OF THE MONARCHY...AND OF THE MATRIARCHY...HAVE ELECTED SPIKE OUR...REPTILIAN OVERLORD! WE ARE WILLING TO SUBMIT TO HIM OUR TOP SECRET RECORDS!"

Murmurs rippled through the crowd. A black stallion raised his hoof. "How do we know you're not going to experiment on him?"

"YEAH!...ILLUMINATI!...MATRIACHY!...AREA 51!..."

"IF WE DO NOT RETURN SPIKE BY THE END OF THE DAY, YOU ARE FREE TO STORM THE CASTLE!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE OF THE MONARCHY, WE ACCEPT!"

"HAIL SPIKE, OUR REPTILIAN OVERLORD!"

"HAIL SPIKE! HAIL SPIKE! HAIL SPIKE!"

Twilight ignored them and carried Spike back inside.

"Ohhhmygosh," said Spike, "I'm going to meet the Illuminati!"

"Ummm...yeah," said Twilight.

She dropped Spike in front of Celestia. "Where's the rest of the Illuminati?" Spike asked. "Your reptilian overlord demands...!"

"Cut the crap, Spike," said Twilight. "Spike, Celestia just wants to understand what it is that you and your friends want."

"We want JUSTICE!" Spike shouted. "We want an end to the oppression of all non-female-alicorns. We want to expose the truth of the workings of this world."

"Okay," said Celestia. "What is it that you want to know, and I will surely explain it to you."

"You mean _brainwash_ me? This is a BRAINWASHING!" Spike exclaimed, looking at Twilight with betrayal. "THE TRUTH WILL NOT BE SILENCED!" He ran towards the exit.

"Spike!" Twilight, Starlight, and Celestia said, all magicking the door to stay shut, but then it swung open anyway, and Princess Luna appeared in the doorway.

"Spike!" Luna shouted ominously. "You will come with me!" A blue mist enveloped Spike and Luna, and they disappeared.

Starlight looked at Twilight. "Is... _is_ it a brainwashing?" she whispered.

"Of course not!" Twilight said. They both looked at Celestia, who was smiling.

* * *

Spike and Luna appeared on a gray, rocky, cratered surface with a black sky. "Where are we?" Spike asked.

"Look," said Luna, pointing over Spike's head. Spike turned around, and he sucked in his breath. A blue, green, and white marble hung in the sky, and in the distance, a bright white star.

"Woah," said Spike. "Beautiful!"

"What do you see?" asked Luna.

"The Earth," said Spike. "Which means we're...we're on...we're on the moon!"

"Yes," said Luna. "Now look. What do you see?"

"I see the Earth," said Spike. "I see Equestria. I see..." He stopped and stared. "It's round."

"Now you know," said Luna. "We are not hiding anything from you, young Spike."

"Wait," said Spike, faltering. "What if this is just magic? This the brainwashing!"

Luna sighed. "Why do you trust a poorly written page on the Internet more than you trust your old friends?"

"Huh?" asked Spike.

"Climb on my back," said Luna. "If it is proof you want, it is proof you shall have."

Spike did as he was told, and Luna descended from the moon, down through the clouds, all the way back to the castle. Spike poked and prodded at everything, verifying its reality. "Thanks, Luna," said Spike quietly. "I think there are someponies I need to go talk to."

Luna smiled. "I think so too."

Spike returned to the mob.

"ALL HAIL SPIKE, THE REPTILIAN OVERLORD!" they shouted and cheered.

"What says the Monarchy?" asked the black stallion.

"The Monarchy says...THERE IS NO MONARCHY!" Spike declared.

"THAT'S JUST WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK!" the mob shouted. "BRAINWASHED! BRAINWASHED! BRAINWASHED!"

Spike flourished his arms to silence them. "There _is_ a monarchy, but they aren't keeping anything from you! Friends, I have seen the Earth, and it is ROUND!"

Murmurs from the crowd. One shouted, "BRAINWASHED!" and the rest clamored in agreement.

"Wait," he said. "Everypony, why do you believe the Earth is flat?"

"Because it don't look round to me," said the blue mare. Shouts of assent.

"But what of all the images we have of the Earth being round? What of all the scientists?" Spike asked.

"BRAINWASHED! BRAINWASHED! BRAINWASHED!" the mob shouted.

"And what makes you all believe that the pegasi are spreading magic spells to keep ponies from being alicorns?" Spike asked.

"Because it makes sense!" exclaimed the brown stallion. "I suppose you're going to tell us that's not true, too? BRAINWASHED!"

"But where's the evidence that those trails are magical in nature? Have you tested them?" Spike asked. "Has anybody tested any of their theories?" Fruits and vegetables flew at Spike. "So you all just believe this because you read it once somewhere? Despite all the experts and experiments that say otherwise? Despite all the _grammar errors?_ Doesn't anypony check anything they read on the Internet? Are you listening to me at all?"

"DOWN WITH THE REPTILIAN OVERLORD! HE IS ONE OF THE ILLUMINATI!"

"LET US STORM THE CASTLE! DOWN WITH THE MATRIARCHY!"

"DOWN WITH THE MONARCHY!"

"Uh-oh," said Spike. The mob started rushing towards him, but the knights intervened. Spike took shelter in the castle.

"Spike!" Twilight exclaimed, and Spike wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry I protested against you and thought you were going to brainwash me," said Spike. "I'm sorry I believed one website instead of all of your wisdom."

"It's okay," said Twilight. "It sounds like you've learned your lesson."

"Have I!" Spike exclaimed, whipping off the tinfoil hat. "Those ponies were _crazy!_ I kinda liked being the Reptilian Overlord, though."

"So what have you learned, Spike?" asked Celestia.

"I learned that you can't trust anything you read on the Internet," said Spike. "And you shouldn't believe anything that can't be verified from multiple sources. And if you're trying to explain away years of research to prove your story, then your story is probably wrong. It shouldn't have had to take Luna dragging me all the way to the moon for me to realize that."

"When you're passionate about something, it's hard to see the other side sometimes," said Starlight. "I had to learn that the hard way too."

"I really want to help all those ponies out there see that they're wrong," said Spike. "I tried, but they wouldn't listen to me."

"Unfortunately, many of them will probably never listen," said Starlight. "But you can help others from going down the same path. And who knows? Maybe, in time, many of those ponies will realize the same thing you have. It'll just take time and different experiences."

"I'm going to start a new website that debunks all of the conspiracy theories," said Spike. "Will you all help me?"

"Sounds great!" said Twilight, and they all agreed.

Spike said, "You know, the reptilians really _did_ rule the world. But that's actually a good thing that they don't anymore. They ate ponies."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Alright, come on, Reptilian Overlord. Bye, Celestia! Bye, Luna!"

"Goodbye, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, Spike," said Celestia.

"Oh, good. Now we can shed our skins," Luna whispered.

Spike gasped, and then they all laughed. Spike, Twilight, and Starlight went to the hot air balloon and floated back to Ponyville, admiring the curvature of the Earth.


	5. The Lord of Dis

**A/N: Thank you for your suggestions in reviews and PMs! I made an initial list of ideas for episodes when I came up with the concept for this fic, and I am taking your suggestions into consideration when choosing the next episode, and adding suggestions as well! :)**

 **Just an FYI, after writing this episode, I have bumped up the rating on this story to T. I am committed to keeping it under M, but in order to execute this one and a few others I have planned properly, I needed some wiggle room. Hope that's ok!**

* * *

"Ready, darlings?" Rarity asked.

Fluttershy looked over the table they'd set. They had a plate of carrots for Angel and tuna sliders for Opal. The teapot was in the center. "Ready," said Fluttershy. She put on her flowery hat and sat beside Angel.

Rarity turned on the camera, and she jumped in beside Opal. Their second official episode of Ten Minutes of Adorableness had begun. Since Angel and Opal had become so popular on Instagram, Rarity had suggested they expand into YouTube. Fluttershy had begun with just taking random videos of Angel and her other various animal friends, but every animal-loving pony was doing that. To really further Angel's career, they needed to stand out somehow, so Rarity was assisting Fluttershy in creating themed episodes featuring Angel and her friends in various cute situations. Ten Minutes of Adorableness was born.

Rarity poured the tea for her and Fluttershy, and the shenanigans had already begun. Angel was jealous that Opal's food was in sandwich form while her carrots were plain. So, Angel started to steal the tuna sliders, scrape out the tuna with her spoon, and fling it at Opal. Opal retaliated by lunging at Angel with her claws bared, and a chase around the table ensued, resulting in the table cloth being ripped up and Fluttershy's and Rarity's outfits all undone.

"Well, I think that was successful," said Rarity.

"Ponies love when Angel makes a mess," Fluttershy agreed. "Let's watch it back. And clean up this mess."

Fluttershy posted the video that night, and immediately, ponies began watching and commenting. Fluttershy enjoyed watching the comments roll in. One comment stood out among the rest:

 **LordofDis: One day the bunny is gonna kill the cat. Good riddance! #NOpal**

 _Well,_ thought Fluttershy, _that's not very nice!_ She thought for a moment, and decided she better respond to the comment and set him or her straight. After all, there was no room for that kind of talk on Angel's channel.

 **Fluttershy: Please only post positive comments on this page. Opal is Angel's good friend, and I know she wouldn't like to know that ponies are saying mean things about her!**

Satisfied, Fluttershy closed the computer and settled in for a good night's sleep. She already had ideas for the next Ten Minutes of Adorableness video. She was excited to tell Rarity the next morning, so she turned on her cell phone. She already had urgent messages from Rarity.

 **FashionGoddess: OMG, Fluttershy, DARLING! What did you DO?!**

 **Fluttershy: What do you mean?**

 **FashionGoddess: Opal has HATE MAIL!**

 **Fluttershy: Hate mail? Oh no...some meanie called Lord of Dis commented on the video last night.**

 **FashionGoddess: Oh, right, about that. Umm, you should probably check the feed.**

 **Fluttershy: Ok…**

There were over a million comments on last night's video. She scrolled through some of them, and her stomach was sick.

 **CryBaby536346: If I had a friend like Opal, I'd kill myself. #NOpal**

 **PETAgrl: Like omg, all of these videos with animals are totally unethical. #TakeItDown**

 **IHeartKittehs: I LOVE Opal! There should be MORE Opal vids, not less! Bunnies lame. #Meow #SupportOpal**

 **CreepyCreeper: I think there should be videos of just Rarity amiright stallions?**

 **NoLife483: I feel like both of the animals are lame and annoying and ponies need to stop wasting their time watching animal videos or at least watch some good ones these ones suck #NOpal**

 **DragonTamer666: All furry animals suck and cats and bunnies are the worse especially these ones #NOpal**

 **CiderLover4: And how lame is Fluttershy for being all no mean comments like this is some happy foals show or something #WelcomeToTheRealWorld #NOpal**

 **CreepyCreeper: But Fluttershy is super cute amiright stallions?**

 **CreepyCreeper: But I'd totally shoot Opal for 5 bits lol #NOpal**

Fluttershy closed her computer in tears. She rushed to Rarity's house. Someone had spray painted #NOpal on the side.

"Ummm...Rarity?" Fluttershy began.

"Yeah, I know," said Rarity. "Somepony's coming over to clean it off immediately. Ugh. _Why_ would you respond to a troll?"

"To a what?" Fluttershy asked.

"To a troll," said Rarity. "Somepony who goes on the Internet specifically to be mean to other ponies. Don't you know how to use the delete button?"

"Delete button?" Fluttershy asked.

"Ugh, okay," said Rarity. "It's okay. You didn't know. If you ever encounter a troll again, just delete their comment, okay? If you respond to a troll, you create a flame war."

"A what?" Fluttershy asked, feeling smaller.

"A flame war. A situation where ponies start hurling insults at each other online. I was in a nasty one a year ago when I started my Instagram page. It was...OH MY GOSH! It was LORD OF DIS!" Rarity gasped.

"DID YOU JUST SAY LORD OF DIS?!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, leaping in through the window.

"Hey, Pinkie...you know of him?" asked Rarity.

"Do I?! Lord of Dis keeps posting meanie memes on the meme lord boards," said Pinkie. "I had to disable his account. But he just keeps making new ones: LordofDis1, LordofDis2, LordofDis3000...now I'm not even sure it's the same pony anymore," said Pinkie. "This Lord of Dis has quite a following. Once he decides to troll your board, his minions barge in to support him."

"This is just awful!" said Rarity. "I change my mind. I think we ought to find this Lord of Dis and give him a piece of our minds."

"How do you find a pony from the Internet with no picture or real name?" asked Fluttershy.

"If anyone could do it, it would be Twilight," said Pinkie.

"Let's go to Twilight, then," said Rarity. "Maybe she can help, maybe not. But, I think we should try."

* * *

"Oh, yeah, I can find a pony from the Internet," said Twilight. "It's not easy, though. I need the IP address," said Twilight.

"The whatta-what?" Pinke asked.

"IP address," Twilight repeated. "It identifies the device the pony is using. If I can get the IP address from the site host, I can find out approximately where the pony responsible lives. Fluttershy, did you delete the comment?"

"No, it's still there," said Fluttershy.

"Good," said Twilight. She opened her computer, poked at the keys rapidly, then used some magic on it. "Got it," she said.

"Wow, you're going to have to teach me how to do that," said Rarity.

Twilight scribbled something down on a scroll. "Okay, now I just have to interpret this," said Twilight. "Spike, bring me that book Celestia gave me, please."

"Which one?" asked Spike. "And explain to me why we still have books again?"

"Because we like books!" Twilight cried. "The reference book of all the Internet providers and stuff. I need the IP index."

"Coming right up," said Spike.

Twilight poured through the book all night. "I can't find it," said Twilight.

"What do you mean, you can't find it?" asked Rarity. "You said every location in Equestria was in that book."

"It is," said Twilight. "This pony is off that map."

"Uhhhhhhh," said Fluttershy, eyes wide.

"I know, I feel the same," said Twilight. "But I've read it over and over. This sequence of numbers isn't there."

"Lord...of Dis...," said Fluttershy to herself.

"I bet he's using a hack somehow," said Twilight. "Must be another unicorn."

"It's not," said Fluttershy.

"Darling, what's going on?" Rarity asked.

"It's obvious," said Fluttershy. "Lord of Dis. Flip it around and you get..."

"...Dis Lord?" asked Pinkie. "Hey! That sounds like-"

"HELLO MY LITTLE PONIES!" Discord had apparated into the room.

"DISCORD!" the ponies and Spike shouted.

"You figured out my little riddle, eh?" asked Discord.

"Why, Discord?" asked Fluttershy in a whisper. "Why would you say such awful things?"

"And make such awful memes," said Pinkie.

"Why not?" asked Discord.

"BECAUSE IT'S MEAN!" they all shouted.

"AND I MISS BEING MEAN!" Discord responded. "Don't you see? Discord is reformed, but The Lord of Dis can be whatever he wants to be. The Internet is his playground. And his friends don't care who or what he is! They just care that he dishes out the dirt daily." Discord looked longingly out the window. "It's been years since I tried to take over Equestria, but every time I go outside, everypony is afraid of me."

"Ohhh…," said Fluttershy, eyes watering. "It's okay, Discord."

"NO!" Twilight shouted. "It's _not_ okay! Look, I get that you're lonely, but that doesn't justify being mean on the Internet! Find another way to deal with your problems!"

"Discord, you wrote that I was the dumbest dragon you'd ever seen," said Spike, looking at his phone. "Why'd you do that? I thought we were friends."

"We _are_ friends! That's why I've only been posting on _your_ feeds! It's not my fault that a bunch of other ponies hopped on my bandwagon," said Discord. "I'm not responsible for the behavior of my adoring fans."

"No, but you didn't do anything to stop it, either," said Fluttershy. "And now it feels like you care about all of these ponies you've never met more than us."

"I promise you that's a mistake," said Rarity.

"Say, I have an idea!" said Twilight. "If Discord cares about his Internet followers so much, maybe he should meet them!"

"Ohhh, good idea!" Pinkie exclaimed. "That's why you're the Princess of Friendship."

Twilight scrolled through the comments on Angel's page. "Discord, pick out your friends on here, and I'll track them down for you."

"Oh, goodie!" Discord said, taking the scroll. "Oh, DragonTamer666, what a hoot! And CreepyCreeper...hilarious, amiright?"

As Discord scribbled down the usernames of the ponies he wanted to meet, Fluttershy took Twilight aside. "Twilight, are you sure?" she whispered. "What if Discord slips back into his old disgusting self?"

"I realize this could backfire, but...you saw what those ponies were saying about a bunny and a cat. Can you imagine what terrible things they'll say about Discord?" Twilight asked.

"Oh," said Fluttershy. "So you're setting him up."

"That's if they even _want_ to meet him," Rarity said, poking into the conversation. "Most of these ponies probably live in their own filth in their parents' basements."

"Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers," Pinkie whispered.

"What?" they asked.

"I dunno. I wanted to join the conversation," said Pinkie.

"I'M DONE!" Discord exclaimed, thrusting his scroll into the huddle. "Fluttershy, would you mind if we used your house for the meetup? Oh, I'm so excited!"

"Sure, Discord," said Fluttershy nervously. "Let's go."

* * *

The tea and crumpets were set for the big day. Discord waited eagerly in his floating chair to wait for his loyal subjects to arrive.

"What do you think, Fluttershy? Sunglasses, or no sunglasses?" he asked, eyewear appearing and disappearing at a whim. "Leather jacket? Fur coat? Fedora?"

"I think you should just be yourself, Discord," said Fluttershy.

"Well, that's the beauty and the trouble of it. I can be anything I want," said Discord, transforming into the likeness of Fluttershy.

"Woah, twins! Score!" said a sleazy voice. The stallion was white and skinny with a thinning black mane and mustache.

"CreepyCreeper!" Discord exclaimed, poofing back into his usual likeness.

"Woah...dude, what are you?" asked CreepyCreeper.

"A HIDEOUS MONSTER!" exclaimed another stallion who burst through the door. This one was buff and bronze with a gray mane that covered his face. "I SHALL SLAY THE BEAST, OR I AM NOT DRAGONTAMER666!"

"Oh, such a pleasure to meet you! Come, sit down, sit down!" Discord beckoned. "I am such a fan of your work, DragonTamer."

"What, seriously? You're the Lord of Dis?" asked DragonTamer. "Dude, you are HILARIOUS looking!"

"I know, right? Like, what is this? What are you?" asked CreepyCreeper.

"Doesn't matter, as long as there's cider," said a yellow stallion with a red mane.

"CiderLover!" Discord exclaimed.

"So ya got cider?" asked CiderLover.

"Ummm, no, we have tea, unless maybe Fluttershy can go get some for us?" Discord asked.

"Yeah, sweetie, go get the boys some cider. Ha!" CiderLover said. The stallions all guffawed.

"Uhhh, sure," Fluttershy grumbled.

* * *

Fluttershy ran into Twilight at the grocery store. "Oh, is it over already? Did anyone even come?" Twilight asked.

"Three," said Fluttershy, "and they're horrible! Twilight, you have to come back with me and help me get rid of them."

"So this is actually happening," said Twilight. "They're actually going to be friends? I mean, as the Princess of Friendship I should be applauding this, but…"

"They wanted me to go get them cider," said Fluttershy with disdain. "I just wanted to get away from them, so I said okay. Will you come back with me? I'm afraid they're going to go online and start being mean together."

"Okay," agreed Twilight. "Let's give them a good, stern talking to!"

When Fluttershy and Twilight returned to the house, they could hear the men laughing inside. Tentatively, Fluttershy opened the door.

"Alright, trolls, you just stop right there!" Twilight announced, but then she gasped. Angel was on the table between the four men, and she had big blue bows in her ears. Discord was holding up a powder blue tutu.

"Awwww, c'mon, Angel, put on the tutu!" DragonTamer begged. Angel crossed her arms and stomped her foot.

"What's going on here?" Fluttershy asked.

"Did ya bring cider?" asked CiderLover.

"Yes," Fluttershy sighed.

"Oh, goodie! Thanks!" he said. "Sorry, we were, uhhh…"

"We just wanted to see how STUPID this bunny would look in bows and a tutu," said CreepyCreeper. "Ain't that right, stallions?"

"Yeah!" they all agreed. "Bunnies are lame!"

"Now hold on," said Twilight. "Bunnies are lame? Really? CreepyCreeper, you have commented on every single one of Angel's videos."

"But only to emphasize how lame they are," said CreepyCreeper. They all nodded.

"DragonTamer, you even comment twice sometimes!" Twilight clarified.

"Because bunnies are DOUBLY STUPID!" DragonTamer retorted. They all guffawed and clapped hooves.

"Lord of Dis, is Angel stupid?" Twilight asked.

Discord started to sweat, looking nervously between his loyal followers and Fluttershy. "I...think...uhhh...OH LOOK! IT'S RAINING CHOCOLATE MILK!"

"NOPE!" Twilight shouted. "Don't you dare magic your way out of this one!" She closed the curtains.

"#NOpal," DragonTamer whispered, and they all giggled.

"Discord, tell Fluttershy here how much you hate Angel," Twilight demanded.

"Ohhhhhh...I CAN'T!" Discord shouted. "Guys, Fluttershy here is my best friend, and Angel means the world to her. I…"

"Woah...dude...you trolled someone you actually knew?" CiderLover clarified in awe.

"Yeah, but I only meant to have a little fun," said Discord. "In fact, I've only ever posted on my real life friends' pages."

"YOU HAVE REAL LIFE FRIENDS?!" CreepyCreeper exclaimed.

"Of course I do! What, are you guys saying…?" Discord started. His followers shook their heads and stared at the floor.

"No pony would ever talk to me on account of I looked a little funny," said CreepyCreeper, "so when I got my hooves on the Internet, all I wanted to do was point out flaws in others like they did me. I...I'm actually a big fan of Angel! But I couldn't admit that a grown stallion liked me liked watching bunny videos. So I hopped on the Dis Lord train."

"Yeah, Angel is awesome!" said DragonTamer. "But you can't have the name DragonTamer and post nice things about a bunny."

"I drink too much cider sometimes and just become this whole other person," said CiderLover.

"Hey, you know what?" asked Discord. "I used to try to enslave the world in eternal chaos, but then I met my friends Fluttershy and Twilight here, and I realized I didn't need to do that anymore! Fluttershy accepts me for who I am! But chaos is in my blood, so I still have a long way to go on my journey to being a good friend. I decided to have a little fun on their pages. I'm sorry Fluttershy, Twilight...I didn't think I could ever get caught, and I definitely didn't expect other ponies to start to join in."

"Ponies can be very mean sometimes, especially when they can hide behind an Internet personality," Twilight agreed.

"Once I started, the power went to my head," said Discord. "But I can't be that chimera anymore. From this day forward, I am deleting my Lord of Dis accounts."

"Ahhhh...but...what will I post on the Angel videos if you're not dissing on them anymore?" DragonTamer asked.

"Post what you feel! You don't need to impress us anymore. We're friends now," said Discord.

"We're...friends?" DragonTamer echoed.

"Real...life...friends?" CreepyCreeper clarified.

Discord nodded.

"I'll drink to that," said CiderLover.

"NO!" everypony cried.

"But I can make more tea," Fluttershy said. "And maybe, if everypony is very nice, then Angel will dance for us!"

"Oh, goodie!" Discord exclaimed. Everypony laughed and agreed.

* * *

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **I think everypony learned a valuable lesson today. When we learned our "friend" Discord was trolling our pages, we thought we'd teach him a lesson by introducing him to his fans and showing him how horrible they actually were. Well, that didn't happen. It turned out, SURPRISE! The trolls were ponies too! They all had their different insecurities that made them do what they did. It's all too easy to judge a pony based on their screen name or what they type in the comment section. And, it's all too easy to become somepony completely different online and say things we would never say in real life. We don't remember that our words actually mean something to the pony reading them. But, when the masks come off, we realize we all just want the same thing at the end of the day: to be accepted. So, introducing Discord to his fans was really the best thing we could have done, but not for the reason we originally thought. Now Discord has three brand new friends, and they've all realized there are better ways to make friends. I've appointed Discord an online friendship ambassador to reach out to ponies who seem like they need a real friend. Fluttershy and I will be monitoring him closely, of course. I'll be sure to update you on his progress! While this Internet thing brings with it a whole new world of friendship challenges, it has also opened up so many new avenues for creating friendships. I am optimistic that the future of friendship in this new Equestria is a bright one.**

 **Love,**

 **Princess Twilight Sparkle**


	6. It's Just a Game

"That there has got to be about the dumbest thing I've ever seen," Applejack said, looking over Apple Bloom's shoulder at the computer screen.

"What do you mean? It's a farm," said Apple Bloom, moving her avatar across the field of pixelated strawberries. "Look! I've even got an apple orchard."

"You _already_ have an apple orchard. It's out yer window!" Applejack exclaimed.

"Time to collect eggs," said Apple Bloom happily, clicking on a little pink arrow above a cartoon chicken. Little coins floated up from the chicken into the piggy bank icon in the corner. "All done!" Apple Bloom clicked out of the game and resumed chatting with her friends.

"All done? _All done?_ That's not how a farm works! That's not how _any_ of this works!"

"Sheesh, Applejack, it's just a game," said Apple Bloom.

* * *

"Whatcha doin', Mrs. Cake?" Pinkie Pie asked. "You've been staring at your phone for quite a while."

"Oh, it's just this new little game I found. All my friends are playing it. Here," said Mrs. Cake, handing her phone to Pinkie.

Pinkie accepted it. On the screen was a grid of multicolored candy icons. Three of the icons were shaking. Pinkie touched one, and it moved over, erasing the three candies and shifting all the ones around it. "Oooh! That's fun! Now what?"

"The goal is to keep matching three of a kind," said Mrs. Cake. "Each level has special instructions on how to win."

Pinkie started swiping across the page. Candies disappeared and reappeared at the speed of light. "Ohhhh...Sugar crush! Is that good?"

"You mean you beat that thing? I've been on that level for a week!" Mrs. Cake exclaimed.

"It says there's another level," said Pinkie. "Do you mind?"

"Oh no, you go right on ahead, Pinkie Pie," said Mrs. Cake with a laugh. "I needed a break." Mrs. Cake went into the kitchen.

Pinkie started swiping at the next level. She was halfway to dropping the last little hazelnut when her own phone pinged. She picked it up. "Applejack has invited you to play Farmville!" the notification read.

"Hm," Pinkie said to herself. "Sounds like fun! Better finish this level though." Swipe swipe swipe. "Woooohoooo! Sugar crush!"

* * *

"Starlight Glimmer has invited you to play Words With Friends," said Twilight, reading the notification on her phone. "Say! I like Words and Friends! What could be better?" Twilight accepted the invitation and downloaded the application. The word "ZOO" was in the center of the board. Twilight examined the grid and the tiles. "Well, geez, Starlight, you practically handed me a double word. Better be more careful next time," Twilight said to herself. A new notification rolled in. "Pinkie Pie has surpassed your high score in Candy Crush!" Twilight exclaimed. "Ohhhh no no no no no!"

"Twilight!" Spike called from the next room.

"What is it?" Twilight asked, opening Candy Crush and starting to swipe.

"Twilight, can I use your credit card?" asked Spike, carrying his laptop into her room.

"Uhhh, NO!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Just for one _teensy_ little thing?" asked Spike. "Applejack just upgraded her farm. I need to get to the next level fast, so I want to buy the insta-harvester."

"The whatawhat?" Twilight asked. "No, you're not using my bits to buy a fake thing on a fake game." Twilight swiped some more candy, and the candy bomb exploded. "Ughhhh! If only I had a lollipop hammer!"

"You can buy one!" Spike said. "You buy a lollipop hammer, and I'll buy my insta-harvester, and we'll both be winning again."

Twilight looked at the sad, smug little cartoon filly on her screen. "Well, it's only a bit," said Twilight. "Okay."

"YESSS!" Spike cried, reaching greedily for the card.

Twilight handed it over cautiously. "But don't tell anyone, okay?" Twilight said.

"It'll be our little secret," said Spike.

* * *

"Hey, Rainbow Dash," said Fluttershy's small voice.

Rainbow Dash peeked over her cloud. "Oh, hey Fluttershy," said Rainbow. "How are you?"

"I'm good," said Fluttershy. "Just thought I'd stop by. I feel like I haven't really talked to any of you in a long time. What's everypony been doing?"

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rainbow shouted. She threw her phone down, and it fell through the cloud.

"Ohhhhh my, what's wrong?!" Fluttershy said, diving to catch the phone.

Rainbow had buried her head in the cloud. "Nothing," she said. "I just lost a real good run on Flappy Bird."

"Flappy Bird? What's that?" asked Fluttershy, flying up to sit beside Rainbow.

"You've never heard of Flappy Bird?!" Rainbow exclaimed. She took back the phone and let Fluttershy look on with her. "So I have this stupid little bird, see? And I have to keep tapping the screen to make it fly. If I hit one of the pillars, I die. That's it." She tapped a few times before the bird ran into the green pillar and fell to the abyss.

"Awww," Fluttershy cooed. "Poor birdy."

"My highest score is 250," said Rainbow. She yawned and pulled the cloud around her.

"So this is what everypony has been doing?" Fluttershy asked, handing the phone back to Rainbow.

"This, Candy Crush, Farmville, Words with Friends...haven't you been getting the invitations?" Rainbow asked.

"I ignored them," Fluttershy admitted. "Seems like an awful waste of time."

Rainbow restarted the game and started tapping mindlessly. "Well, you've been saving yourself a whole lot of trouble to be honest. Everypony is mad at Twilight now."

"Twilight? Why?" asked Fluttershy.

As if on cue, Twilight flew past them and called, "RAINBOW DASH!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rainbow shouted. She hurled the phone off the cloud.

"Geez, what happened?" Twilight asked.

"Thanks a lot, Twilight! You made me lose Flappy Bird!" Rainbow exclaimed.

"Oh, sorry," said Twilight.

"Ummm," said Fluttershy, "should I go get that?"

"Rainbow! Accept my Words With Friends request!" Twilight demanded.

"Are you gonna let me win?" Rainbow asked.

"Of course not! That's not how games work, silly!" Twilight responded.

"Then no! Sorry, Twilight, but nopony stands a chance against you in Words With Friends," said Rainbow. "And it's no fun playing a game that you have no chance of winning."

"What do you mean? That Flappy Bird thing never ends, and yet you play it all day long!" Twilight retorted.

"Yeah, but I'm good at it. Find some other egghead to play you in Words," said Rainbow. She went to retrieve her phone.

"Hey, Fluttershy! You wanna play a _really_ fun game?" asked Twilight.

"No, I don't think so," said Fluttershy. "I'm going to go visit Rarity."

"RARITY! Rarity hasn't played me in Words for a while. In fact, Rarity hasn't talked to any of us for a while. I wonder what she's been doing," said Twilight.

"Well, ummm, do you want to come with me?" asked Fluttershy.

"Yep! Let's go! I'm losing my ranks because nopony will start another game with me," said Twilight. They left the cloud and headed towards Rarity's. "You sure you don't want to play?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you," said Fluttershy.

When they got to Rarity's, the white and purple unicorn met them at the door with a big smile on her face.

"Hello, Twilight! Fluttershy! What a pleasant surprise!" she exclaimed.

"Hiiii Rarity. Want to play Words With Friends?" Twilight asked.

"Ohhh, Twilight, you know I'd love to, but I've just been so busy! I have a huge order to fulfill," said Rarity.

"Oh, phew!" said Fluttershy. "I thought you might be obsessed with some online game like everypony else."

Twilight, having given up on trying to enlist a new opponent on Words, began crushing candies.

"Online game? Oh, nooooo," Rarity said, throwing her head back and chuckling loudly. "You'd never catch me obsessed with one of those silly things. Nope, I've just been very busy with sewing, dear."

Fluttershy sniffed. "It smells a little musty in there, Rarity!" In fact, it smelled like cat pee, but Fluttershy was too polite to say so. "Maybe you need some help? I'll clean up a bit while you work on your order."

"Oh, no, I couldn't possibly..." Rarity started.

"Oh, it's no trouble at all for my friend!" Fluttershy said, happily inviting herself in. The smell of Opal's dirty litter boxes was overwhelming, but she smiled.

"Okkkayyy," Rarity said nervously. "I'll just be upstairs...working on the order!"

Once Fluttershy had cleaned out the litter boxes, she realized the kitchen was in bad shape as well and washed the dishes and wiped down the food-encrusted surfaces. Then, she noticed the stairs were dusty, so she took the broom and started sweeping all the way up to Rarity's workroom.

It was dark except for the glowing computer screen. Rarity was typing furiously away at the keys. "Rarity?" Fluttershy whispered.

She turned around with a jump. "Yeh-yes, dear?"

"I...I cleaned the litter boxes, washed the dishes, and swept the stairs," said Fluttershy. "How...how is the order coming? Are you done?"

"Oh, no no no no no. I'm just...just taking a break," said Rarity.

Fluttershy turned on the lights, and the sewing room looked like it hadn't been touched in months. "Rarity?" Fluttershy said again.

Rarity looked like she was about to cry. "Please don't tell anypony."

"Tell anypony what?" asked Flutteshy.

"I've been playing... _a game_!" Rarity squealed, then covered her mouth.

"Is that all?" asked Fluttershy.

"Yes, but, it's very embarrassing. Nopony has any idea that it's me behind Princess Periwinkle, and I want to keep it that way," said Rarity.

"Princess Periwinkle?" asked Fluttershy.

"She's my avatar on Magictopia," said Rarity with a smile. "She's the richest alicorn in the realm, and she has a whole army to do her bidding. And she wears only the most lavish outfits," said Rarity. "It's kind of expensive," she admitted.

"Like, with real money?" Fluttershy asked.

"The game costs about twenty bits per month," said Rarity. "But it's fascinating! It's like living in an entirely different world," said Rarity. "And you can be anything you want to be, once you work out how the game works. I absolutely love the detail in all of the clothing for your avatars, and you can even design and decorate your own castle! Oh, and I have a DRAGONCAT!"

"A dragoncat?" asked Fluttershy.

"Look!" Rarity gushed, clicking around on the computer. A white cat with purple and green wings was sitting on Princess Periwinkle's throne. Rarity clicked her, and she breathed fire.

"It does look like fun, but, you've been spending so much time in this world, you've spent barely any time in the real world," said Fluttershy.

"But...there's just so much to do!" said Rarity. "And Applejack had her Farmville, and Pinkie Pie her Candy Crush, and Twilight her Words With Friends, and Rainbow Dash her Flappy Bird, I figured, you know, that nopony would notice if indulged in a little, online RPG."

"Uhhh, right," said Fluttershy.

A shriek came from outside.

"That sounds like Twilight," said Rarity.

"We should go check on her," said Fluttershy.

They went downstairs and out the door to find Twilight exactly where they'd left her, staring at her phone and trembling.

"Twilight?" asked Rarity. "Is everything okay, darling?"

"NO!" Twilight exclaimed. "I've exceeded my credit limit for the month."

"Oh," said Rarity. "Well, then, you need to watch your spending, dear."

"It's not me," said Twilight. "I don't recognize any of these transactions. They're all for Farmville. I haven't played that since it first came out! Unless..." Spike strolled by, swiping at his phone mindlessly. Twilight magicked the phone away from him and looked at the screen. "RAINBOW CHICKENS?!" she exclaimed, flipping the phone around accusingly.

"Applejack has like 50 of them! I had to keep up!" Spike replied.

"Okay, that's it," said Twilight. "Your farming days are over."

"But I worked so hard on that farm!" Spike exclaimed.

"You did not!" retorted Twilight. "You bought upgrades to your farm with _my_ bits!"

"I did what I had to do to remain competitive in today's market," said Spike smugly.

"These games all sound very expensive, and much more trouble than they're worth," said Fluttershy.

"They're not supposed to be expensive or trouble! They're supposed to be fun and relaxing!" said Twilight.

"You spend hours trying to come up with the highest scoring words!" Spike shot back. "How is that relaxing?"

"Because I like words!" Twilight retorted.

"Well, I like rainbow chickens!" Spike shouted.

"STOP!" Fluttershy cried. And when Fluttershy raises her voice, everypony listens, because it happens so very rarely. "There's nothing wrong with playing a game, but it sounds like these games are playing you! You're all so obsessed with winning that you're willing to sacrifice your money and your friendships to do it."

"But...but...we like winning. What's the point of playing a game if you're not going to try to win?" asked Spike.

"Fluttershy's right," said Twilight, hanging her head. "I haven't really seen any of you guys since these games became fashionable. We've just been competing with each other."

"It is very nice to be outside for a change," said Rarity, looking up at the sun. "You know, from all the orders I've been fulfilling."

"I think I know exactly what we need," said Fluttershy.

* * *

"SUGAR CRUSH! WOOHOOO!" Pinkie Pie shouted. "Oh, hi Fluttershy."

"Hey, Pinkie? Do you want to throw a party?" asked Fluttershy.

"Do I?!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Ooh ooh ooh! There's this really cool game I found that we can all play together without even leaving our homes!"

"NO!" Fluttershy shouted, blocking the computer. "A real party, with real candy, and real games that aren't played on a screen. And everypony has to leave their house."

"Wow, that all sounds like an _awful_ lot of work. But, I'll see what I can do!" said Pinkie.

So Pinkie sent invites to all of her friends, put down her phone, and got to work. The next morning, Applejack, Twilight, Spike, and Rarity all arrived at Sugarcube Corner.

"Okay, everypony, let's play a game," said Fluttershy. "That game is called, put your phones in the bag and don't look at them. Last pony to look at their phone wins."

"But...my crops will die," said Applejack.

"They're not real crops," said Fluttershy. She held out the bag, a bright yellow tote with a smiley face on it.

The friends all looked at each other nervously and obliged. Pinkie took a few final swipes at hers before dropping it in with the others. She cleared her throat. "Alright, everypony! We've got tons and tons of games! There's real life Words With Friends..."

"Hey, I remember this!" Twilight said happily. "I used to play this with my parents when I was a filly. I believe it was called Scrabble!" She trotted over to the board and sat down. "Hey, wait a minute. Pinkie? There aren't any points on the tiles."

"I know!" exclaimed Pinkie. "I took the points off. We're not keeping score today. Look!" Pinkie went over to a big grid of pictures of candy. "If you match three of these candy tiles, you get to eat the candy! How cool is that?"

"Are there power ups?" asked Spike.

"I got the chocolate balls," said Pinkie with a wink.

"Well, then I know where I'll be!" said Spike.

"And over here is real life Flappy Bird! You trot through the tubes and..." Pinkie stopped and glared at her friends assembled. "Say...wait a minute...where's Rainbow Dash?"

They all looked around. "Did ya invite her?" asked Applejack.

"Of course I invited her!" exclaimed Pinkie.

"Better call her," said Spike. They all mumbled in agreement and went towards the bag of phones.

"NO!" said Fluttershy, blocking them. "We're all going to go out and look for her together. We all know where she lives."

They mumbled in agreement again and went out the door. Rainbow Dash was lounging on her usual cloud tapping vigorously at her phone.

Pinkie Pie pushed a party cannon out of the bushes and shushed her friends. They all giggled and nodded. She aimed the cannon at Rainbow and fired. Rainbow jumped and cried out. Her phone dropped to the ground, a sad bird and the words "GAME OVER" flashing across it.

"You guys!" Rainbow exclaimed. "I was just about to beat my highest score ever!"

"I'm sorry," said Pinkie. "But we're all having a party, and you didn't come. Didn't you get the invitation?"

"Invitation?" Rainbow asked. "I got _tons_ of Farmville invitations. I pretty much just started to delete anything that said 'invitation' on it."

"YOU DELETED MY INVITATION!?" Pinkie screeched.

"I'm sorry! We haven't done a _real_ party in months! I haven't seen some of you in months...geez..." She scratched her mane with her hoof and yawned.

"C'mon, everypony," said Applejack. "Let's have a party."

They returned to Sugarcube Corner, and they all fell asleep together before they looked at their phones. The crops all died, and they all lost their spots on the leaderboards, and Princess Periwinkle's armies wandered aimlessly around Magictopia, but they were too busy with their real lives to care.

* * *

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **Have you heard about online games? They're everywhere, and there's something for everypony! But they're all very addicting, and if you're not careful, you might end up neglecting your real life responsibilities in favor of keeping your rank in an online game. Spike even started sinking money into his games! It took Fluttershy forcing us to put our phones down and actually talking to each other for a night to realize how far we'd gone. Online games are supposed to be fun and relaxing. Once it starts to become a chore, or an expense, or stressing you out, then it's time to put the game down! I myself got way too competitive with Words With Friends, so I am limiting my playing time to 30 minutes per day. So, if you want to give it a try, you should definitely send me an invite! ;)**

 **Love,**

 **Princess Twilight Sparkle**


	7. Whose Story is it Anyway?

"Man," said Rainbow Dash, throwing down the latest _Daring Do_ book. "These stories just can't come fast enough for me. I've got a problem, Tank. I crave more _Daring Do_ than _Daring Do_ exists in the world." Tank yawned and blinked. Rainbow Dash shuffled through her _Daring Do_ books, deciding which one she wanted to read again. "Gah! I've reread _all_ of these this year! I need something new!" She sighed. "Maybe I just...need to read something new." She gulped and turned to her computer, then typed "BOOKS LIKE DARING DO" in the search bar.

Google returned many suggestions that she'd already received from Twilight: the _Palomino Jones_ series, the _James Barn_ series, and she'd already tried them all, and they just couldn't compare to _Daring Do._ At the bottom of the page, though, something caught her eye. The link read: "DARING DO FANFICTION."

* * *

"TWILIGHT TWILIGHT TWILIGHT TWILIGHT!" Rainbow called as she pounded on the castle door.

"Yes?" Twilight said hesitantly, opening the door. "Oh, hello Rainbow Dash. What's going on?"

"I have to show you something!" Rainbow exclaimed happily, pushing through the door. "It's amazing!" She found Twilight's computer and started poking at the keys.

"Something new with the Internet?" Twilight asked. It had been some time since her last report to Celestia. She joined Rainbow eagerly at the computer. The top of the page read "DARING DO FANFICTION," and Rainbow was slowly scrolling through the titles and blurbs.

"Ugh," said Rainbow. "Can't anypony come up with something better than Daring Do falling in forbidden love with Dr. Caballeron?"

"What is this?" asked Twilight.

"It's called _fanfiction_ ," said Rainbow. "It's when you write a _Daring Do_ story yourself. How wild is that?"

"Like, stories that aren't written by A.K. Yearing?" asked Twilight. "But how is that possible?"

"Because anything is possible on the Internet, Twilight!" Rainbow said, a little annoyed. "Ooh, I really liked this one. It has Daring Do going back in time and solving a mystery with Starswirl the Bearded. Take a look."

Rainbow clicked on the story and turned the screen to Twilight, but Twilight pushed the screen away. "I wouldn't waste my time with that, Rainbow. If A.K. Yearling didn't write it, then it's not a real _Daring Do_ story."

"Why not?" asked Rainbow. "I mean, yeah, they're not as well-written as Yearling's, and a lot of the stories are just weird, and sometimes, kinda pervy. But it's just for fun, Twilight."

"I'm surprised you're okay with this," said Twilight. "As A.K. Yearling's biggest fan, don't you think it's disrespectful to change her work?"

"It's not changing anything!" Rainbow protested. "It's not like anypony is making any money off of this!"

Twilight perused the description of the story Rainbow had pulled up. "Daring Do and Starswirl the Bearded fall in forbidden love?" she read incredulously. "That's absurd! Daring Do doesn't care about falling in love! Her whole deal is that she cares more about keeping Equestria safe than her own happiness! And Starswirl the Bearded was a _real_ pony, who _also_ put keeping Equestria safe above his own happiness!"

"That's why it works," said Rainbow.

"Ugh, no!" said Twilight. "I love that you are reading, but please, read a real book, okay? Here." Twilight levitated a book off a shelf and plopped it down in front of Rainbow. " _Palomino Jones._ Yeah, it's kind of a knock-off of _Daring Do_ , but it's at least by a respected author."

"Ohh! I read a crossover with Daring Do and Palomino Jones!" said Rainbow. "Maybe I should give this another chance."

"Let me guess," said Twilight. "Daring Do and Palomino Jones fall in forbidden love."

Rainbow clutched the book close to her chest and stared at Twilight blankly. "That one ends tragically. It's a real page turner." She flew out the door.

"Absurd," Twilight scoffed, sitting down at her computer to remove the offending literature from her screen. "And _all_ of these errors, goodness!" She scanned the page with her eyes for more offending grammar. "Oh, wow, this pony actually knows how time travel magic works. Impressive." She finished the page, looked both ways to ensure she was alone, clicked to the next page. "So bad. So, so bad...," she whispered to herself.

The next day Twilight showed up at Rainbow's door.

"Hey, Twilight, what's up?" Rainbow asked.

"Are you busy today?" Twilight asked.

"Not at all. I was just gonna ask if I could get the next _Palomino Jones_ book," asked Rainbow.

"We're writing one," said Twilight.

"Writing one? Writing..." Rainbow's face turned from confusion to delight. "YOU READ THE FANFIC!"

"And we can do _sooo_ much better!" Twilight exclaimed.

Rainbow let her inside, and Rainbow opened up a scroll. A quill and inkwell levitated next to her. "Okay, so I was thinking a Daring Do/ Palomino Jones crossover."

"Yes, yes, yes," said Rainbow. The quill started scribbling on the scroll. "And and and!"

"But NO FORBIDDEN LOVE!" Twilight declared. "That trope has been beat to death."

"Okay, okay, okay," said Rainbow. "Not even just a _teensy_ bit? Like, Palomino is all, 'OMG Daring Do I looooove you,' and then Do is all, 'Palomino you're wonderful, but my duty is to Equestria!'"

Twilight sighed. "Mayyyybe..."

"Or or or...now here me out...what if the forbidden love isn't between Do and Palomino at all?"

Twilight looked up from the scroll. "Go on."

"What if it's with Dr. Caballeron!"

"UGH!" Twilight groaned. "No, not that tired ship!"

"No no no," said Rainbow. "Not Caballeron and Do..."

"Go on..."

"Caballeron and PALOMINO!"

Twilight stared at Rainbow, blinked twice, then said, "BRILLIANT!"

"HAHA! YESSSS!" Rainbow exclaimed, pumping her hoof and flying in a loop.

"Okay, okay, okay," said Twilight. "How does Daring Do feel about this?"

"Well, of course she's going to support her BFF Palomino Jones," said Rainbow. "But, she is conflicted because Caballeron is her old enemy."

"This. Is. Gold." Twilight scribbled furiously at the scroll. "Any other characters? Should _we_ be in it?"

"You want to do a double self-insert?" Rainbow asked. Twilight nodded slowly. Rainbow sat down on the edge of her bed, contemplating. "I think...BRILLIANT!" Twilight squealed happily, wrote some last notes on the scroll, and levitated it over to Rainbow. "Okay. Okay. OKAY!" Rainbow exclaimed. "Now for the actual plot!"

They wrote furiously through the day and night. Rainbow wanted to immediately post it, but Twilight insisted on taking it for a day to be revised and edited. Rainbow agreed.

Twilight fell asleep on the job, and Spike discovered it. First, he saw the story map scroll. "Palomino Jones loves Dr. Caballeron? That can't be right," he said to himself. He hopped up on the desk and started reading the story. "Hmmm...interesting...interesting...but needs a little something... _scaly_." With a gleeful laugh, he started pecking away at the keys.

* * *

"IT'S DONE!" Twilight sang over the phone to Rainbow.

"All grammar approved from the almighty Twilight Sparkle?" asked Rainbow.

"Yep. I'm uploading the first chapter now," said Twilight. "Should I upload _all_ of it, or wait for some reviews?"

"Wait," said Rainbow. "Just put enough out to get the readers interested. Sometimes ponies like to suggest things. We want to be flexible."

"Give the readers what they want. I agree," said Twilight. She stared at the computer screen. "Okay, now what?" she asked.

"Read some other stuff to get inspiration," said Rainbow. "I'm on the third Palomino book. I think we should incorporate some of these characters."

"Okay," said Twilight. "Let me get my scroll out and see what we can do!" She levitated over the original prewriting scroll, and then the computer pinged. "WE HAVE REVIEWS!"

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh," Rainbow said. "Hold on. Don't read _anything_ until I get there, okay?"

"Okay, hurry!" Twilight said, staring at anticipation at the screen. In a few minutes, Rainbow flew through the window, and they huddled around the computer. "Ready?" Twilight asked.

"Do it," said Rainbow.

Twilight opened the review and read aloud, "I love your dragon OC."

"THEY LOVE IT!" Rainbow shouted.

"Dragon OC. What's a dragon OC? Is that code for something?" Twilight asked.

"Hm," said Rainbow, "I know OC means original character. Maybe dragon is slang for awesome? They're obviously talking about my character."

Twilight typed the phrase into the search box. "Nothing. Dragon just means dragon."

"Did we have a dragon OC?" Rainbow asked.

"No," said Twilight.

"Are you sure you uploaded the right thing?" Rainbow asked.

Twilight clicked over to their story. "Once upon a time Palomino Jones fell into the grips of the terrible Dr. Caballeron, and only Daring Do could save him. Dr. Caballeron was holding Palomino hostage on a tropical island far away, and Daring Do needed help," she read.

"So far so good," said Rainbow. "Next she calls upon her good friends, the Wonderbolt Rainbow Dash and the Princess Twilight Sparkle."

"Next she does _not_ call upon her good friends the Wonderbolt Rainbow Dash and the Princess Twilight Sparkle!" Twilight exclaimed, staring wide-eyed at the screen. "Next she calls upon everypony's favorite dragon-"

"SPIKE!" Spike exclaimed with a flourish. "So you saw my revisions, huh? What do you think?"

"I think you stole our story!" Twilight yelled.

"I _improved_ your story. A double self-insert is just unbearable. Plus, a dragon OC really is original," Spike said.

"But you had no right to change it. I _uploaded the first chapter_. Now we're stuck with Spike the Super Sky Serpent," said Twilight.

"It can be changed," said Rainbow. "We'll just fix it and do an overwrite."

"Although," said Twilight, "if we do that, we'll be disappointing our follower who loves the Spike character."

"Hm, that's true. The only thing they said they liked about our first chapter was Spike," said Rainbow. "Hey, Spike, did you revise everything or just the first chapter?"

"I revised everything," said Spike. "You're welcome."

"So the love triangle between my character, Palomino, and Caballeron?" asked Rainbow.

"Revised. It's how a love triangle between my Palomino, Caballeron, and Caballeron's henchman. Palomino falls in love with Caballeron's henchman, and Caballeron gets jealous," said Spike.

"Brilliant," Twilight whispered.

"Alright, Spike, welcome to the team," said Rainbow. "Let me read the next chapter and see what you came up with."

"Oh, ummm, yeah, about that...," said Spike.

Rainbow scanned the page, threw her head back, and laughed. "Spike makes a pit stop at his girlfriend Rarity's house?!"

"Oh, no, Spike," said Twilight. "We can't put Rarity in the story!"

"It was a choice," said Spike, blushing.

"Bad choice," said Rainbow. "This doesn't even relate to the rest of the plot at all. It's just fluff."

"What's just fluff?" came Rarity's voice behind them.

"Hiiiii Rarity! What brings you here?" asked Twilight. Rainbow hastily clicked out of the fanfic.

"Oh, I was just in the neighborhood running an order, and I remembered I had some extra gowns in stock that I think would look just gorgeous on you, Twilight! So, I wanted to see if you might want to accompany me back to my place to have a look. I know you always need gowns for your Princess appearances!" Rarity replied happily.

"Sure," said Twilight.

"Of course, I don't want to take you away from...what is this, exactly?" Rarity asked.

"Nothing!" Twilight, Rainbow, and Spike said together.

"Nope, not taking me away from anything at all. Although, while you're here...would you agree that an action story that already contains a forbidden love triangle doesn't need an absurd side-plot about a romance between a dragon and a unicorn?" Twilight asked.

"Ehhh...what?" asked Rarity.

"We're writing a story," said Spike. "Our main character is a dashing dragon, and I thought he should have a beautiful unicorn girlfriend. Twilight and Rainbow here think that's absurd."

"Why, that's not absurd at all!" Rarity gushed. "I just _love_ love stories. Can I read it?"

"Ummmm...no, it's not quite ready yet," said Spike.

"HERE YOU GO!" Rainbow exclaimed, pulling up the chapter. "Now, we used your name just as a placeholder. We haven't actually decided what we're naming our unicorn, if we choose to leave her in."

"Ohhh, yes, yes, yes, yes, this is _marvelous!_ " Rarity said, reading.

"You know, Twilight, adding a fluff romance subplot could expand our readership," said Rainbow.

"Seriously?" Twilight groaned. "But they're both OCs. We can't have full chapters devoted to two OCs with no Palomino or Daring Do in it!"

"Daring Do is in the story? Marvelous! Who is Palomino?" Rarity asked.

"He's _supposed_ to be our other main character," said Twilight. "Until Spike here hijacked our story and made it all about him!"

"What if instead of a random unicorn, Spike is dating the princess from the _Griffin's Goblet_?" asked Rainbow.

"That princess barely is even in the story," Twilight said. "She has zero character development."

"Which means Rarity could make her into whatever she wanted," said Rainbow. "Hey, Rarity want to join our writing team?"

"Oh, I don't know how much help I'd be," said Rarity.

" _Tons_ of help," said Rainbow. "You'd be in charge of writing the princess character. Leave the rest to us."

"Oh, well, that could be fun. Sure! Why not!" Rarity said.

"Great!" said Rainbow. "You and Spike can work on that fluff chapter, while me and Twilight work on the third chapter. We'll have two more chapters posted by the end of the night!"

"Yeah!" they all agreed and set to work. Twilight smoothed out the two chapters for grammar and continuity and posted them before bed. When she woke up, their story had fresh reviews. She called Rainbow.

"What do they say?!" Rainbow asked. "Good or bad, good or bad?"

"Well...," said Twilight, "it's good, but...Rarity's character was such a hit, now they want her to go on the quest with them."

"WHAT?! Princess Silvercloud can't go on the quest! She's got a kingdom to manage! What's wrong with these ponies?" asked Rainbow.

"They want more fluff," said Twilight. "We're going to have to figure out a way to make it work."

"Well, I guess Dr. Caballeron can kidnap her too," said Rainbow. "But _why_ though?"

"Unless...unless...UNLESS...," Twilight said, "what if _Spike_ gets captured in exchange for the release of Palomino, and Princess Silvercloud has to come help them all rescue Spike?"

Rainbow thought for a moment. "That would be a reversal of traditional gender roles."

"Mmmm-hmmmm."

"And therefore...BRILLIANT! Gather the team, we've got a fourth chapter to write!" Rainbow exclaimed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Spike shouted.

"Why not?!" Rainbow replied.

"Because Spike the Super Serpent could NEVER get captured by Dr. Caballeron! It's out of character!" Spike protested.

"But he does it in _exchange_ for Palomino Jones!" Twilight pressed.

"Who's Palomino Jones again?" Rarity asked.

"THE MAIN CHARACTER!" Twilight and Rainbow shouted.

"Oh, I thought Spike was the main character," said Rarity.

"Thank you," said Spike.

"I actually think it would _terribly_ romantic for Spike to sacrifice himself for Palomino. What tragedy! And then Palomino can run off into the sunset with his lover," said Rarity. "And when Princess Silvercloud arrives with Daring Do to rescue her dragon boyfriend, they'll see Spike has tragically died, and then they all band together to avenge him."

"Mother of Celestia!" Rainbow gasped. "Rarity is..."

"BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT!" Twilight exclaimed.

"What what what? Noooooooo!" Spike protested.

"Sorry, Spike, darling," said Rarity. "Sacrifices must be made for good romance."

"But Spike the Super Sky Serpent is IMMORTAL!" Spike protested.

"No he's not!" Twilight shot back.

"Yes he is!"

"Come on, Spike. He can't be immortal! Nobody likes an overpowered OC," said Rainbow.

The girls huddled around the computer, whispered, and typed. Twilight referred to the original notes and drafts, and the proper revisions were made. Spike hung his head and retreated to his room.

"They're gonna kill me off?" Spike muttered to himself. "Fine. I'll start a _new story_ , and we'll see who dies tragically in _this one!_ Muhahahahaha!"

* * *

Months passed. Their story long completed, Rainbow, Twilight, and Rarity returned to their usual lives.

Rainbow Dash sat down at her computer to check her email. At the top of the inbox was a message from A.K. Yearling.

 _Dear Rainbow Dash,_

 _I hope this email finds you and your friends well! I was perusing some fan mail recently, and many of my fans were asking about this fan created character called "Spike the Super Sky Serpent"? I was just wondering if this was an invention of your Spike. He seems pretty popular on the fanfiction websites! I checked out some of the stories, and I can see why. Very charismatic companion to Daring Do. Kinda strange that he killed off the Wonderbolts and the Princesses in the first story, though. I hope everything is alright between you all!_

 _Adventure on,_

 _A.K. Yearling_

"...What?" Rainbow asked herself. "First story? As in, there's more than one? And killing off...what the hay?!" She Googled "Spike the Super Sky Serpent" and stumbled on all kinds of Spike-centric stories, including theirs, but there was actually a lot of commentary around their story. Apparently ponies thought that it was a strange end to the "Spike series" as it didn't appear to be written in the same style. There was another camp of ponies that thought their story was the best of the "Spike series." She also stumbled upon a copy of what appeared to be the original story Twilight and Rainbow had planned. There wasn't much commentary around that one, although it had a few enthusiastic supporters.

She sent links to all the stories to Twilight.

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Ok, I decided to pull out the original story map and piece something together because I missed our version. But...WHAT ARE ALL OF THESE?!**

 **20%Cooler: It seems like Spike took it upon himself to write a few more stories on his own.**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Wow, all the followers, too!**

 **20%Cooler: Yeah, ponies are kind of confused by the one that we wrote with Rarity.**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Right, it doesn't make sense if you read it alongside Spike's.**

 **20%Cooler: He killed us off in his first story, ya know.**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: WHAT THE HAY?!**

 _ ***FriendshipIsMagic has added SuperSkySerpent to the conversation***_

 **SuperSkySerpent: Wut up?**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: EXPLAIN THESE LINKS!**

 **SuperSkySerpent: Doesn't feel so good to be killed off in a story, does it?**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Ohhh...yeah, I guess you're right.**

 **20%Cooler: I'm okay with it. This is actually pretty awesome! He made Princess Silvercloud the ruler of Equestria!**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Okay, I guess I could give it a chance. But it's still rude.**

 **SuperSkySerpent: You posted that awful first version?**

 **20%Cooler: Speaking of rude...**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: I did! After you and Rarity got involved, our story didn't even feel like our story anymore.**

 **SuperSkySerpent: Wow, and ponies liked that crap?**

 **20%Cooler: Gee, thanks, Spike, you're a great friend.**

 **SuperSkySerpent: I guess none of us have really been good friends when it came to this story, huh?**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Maybe this is what A.K. Yearling feels like when she reads our fanfiction?**

 **20%Cooler: That's a good point. But she didn't seem mad on the email, though. I'll ask her what she thinks.**

Rainbow Dash closed the conversation window and composed a reply to A.K. Yearling:

 _Dear A.K.,_

 _Yes, that is our Spike, although the one where he dies was me, Twilight, and Rarity. We got a little crazy with the fanfiction for a while there. Just wondering, what do you think about fanfiction? Does it bother you that we're all basically using your life at our whim?_

 _Your adoring fan,_

 _Rainbow Dash_

The response from A.K. came back quickly. It said:

 _Rainbow Dash,_

 _That is a great question, and it's actually not something that authors even agree on. I find it very entertaining to read what my fans have come up with. You guys are the only ones who know that I'm a real pony, so I try not to take things personally when stories get a little weird. Sometimes fans come up with ideas that I would never have thought of, like your characterization of Princess Silvercloud. There are some authors who are very against this and take it as a personal attack on their works, even copyright infringement. I think it is harmless fun, but I do appreciate you asking! Do not stop if it brings you joy and doesn't hurt anypony. Maybe stop killing each other off in your writing when you are mad at each other, and don't let anypony tell you how you should write. The best writing comes from the heart. I'm honored to be the subject of such writing._

 _Best,_

 _A.K. Yearling_

Rainbow forwarded the messages to Twilight, Spike, and Rarity.

 **FriendshipIsMagic: I'm going to add these emails to the research for Celestia, if you don't mind. I imagine if things continue and some authors are mad about it, she might need to make some sort of formal decision on the matter.**

 **SuperSkySerpent: U think Celestia is going to make us stop doing it?!**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: I don't think so. A.K. had some very nice things to say about it. She is right though. We shouldn't have been sacrificing our vision for the story to be to please other ponies.**

 **20%Cooler: It looks like all of our stories found their own audiences. That's pretty cool!**

 **FashionGoddess: Oh, this is lovely…now...which one is A.K. Yearling?**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: SERIOUSLY?!**

 **20%Cooler: *facehoof***


	8. CMCMD

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle found Scootaloo alone in their treehouse. Scootaloo was looking intently at the computer.

"What's up, Scootaloo?" asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo sighed. "I was just looking up some stuff online."

"What kind of stuff?" Sweetie Belle said, peering over Scootaloo's shoulder. It was a Google results page full of articles about pegasus flight. "Oh," said Sweetie Belle.

The topic of Scootaloo's inability to fly was a sore one. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom looked at each other nervously. "Did anypony come for some cutie mark advice?" Apple Bloom asked.

"No," said Scootaloo said.

"Well, let's go look for some!" Apple Bloom said. Sweetie Belle nodded happily.

"I think I'm gonna go work on this," said Scootaloo. "Let me know if you find a cutie mark problem, okay?"

"You sure you don't want us to come with you?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"No," said Scootaloo. "Thanks." Scootaloo walked out of the treehouse.

Apple Bloom peeked out the window as Scootaloo wandered off. "I wish there was something we could do to help her," said Apple Bloom.

"Do you think she'll ever learn to fly?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I don't know," said Apple Bloom. "What does the Internet say?"

"The usual, I'm sure. 'Look at me, look at my cat, Hail Sombra,'" Sweetie Belle quipped. "Hm, you know, Rarity always goes to this one website when something is wrong with her." She sat down in the computer chair and typed.

"When something is wrong? Like how?" Apple Bloom asked, sitting beside her. The website Sweetie Belle had pulled up was called "WebMD." Sweetie Belle went to the search bar within the website and typed "pegasus can't fly." It returned an article "PEGASUS LOSS OF FLIGHT."

"It's not loss of flight," Apple Bloom clarified. "It's inability to fly at all."

"Next article," said Sweetie Belle. "Pegasus flight conditions," Sweetie Belle read aloud, "can arise from many different sources. Pegasi typically begin to fly around their school ages, although some have been known to fly as early as one day old."

"Wow," said Apple Bloom.

"Pegasi must maintain their wings and practice often to keep up their wing muscle strength," read Sweetie Belle. "Not exercising your wings can lead to Pegasi Muscular Dystrophy, or PMD."

"That's not Scootaloo's problem," said Apple Bloom.

"Disfigurement of the wings, either from birth of injury, can result in unstable flight or loss of flight," Sweetie Belle read. "Is Scootaloo disfigured?"

"She sure don't look it," said Apple Bloom. "Keep going."

"Wing polyps, cysts, and tumors can also cause fatigue, aching of wings, and in extreme cases, inability to fly. In the case of malignant wing cancer, a pegasus will be unable to fly and might need their wing or wings amputated in order to prevent further spreading of the cancer," said Sweetie Belle. "Oh my! Do you think Scootaloo has wing cancer?"

"Well, she never complains about her wings hurting," said Sweetie Belle.

"But do you think she _would_ say anything about it? I mean, she likes to always appear tough, you know," said Apple Bloom. She clutched Sweetie Belle. "Oh my gosh, Sweetie Belle, what are we going to do?!"

"Hold on, hold on, Apple Bloom," said Sweetie Belle. "She'd need to go to a doctor. Umm...does Scootaloo ever go to the doctor?"

"She goes to the school nurse," said Apple Bloom.

" _She_ can't diagnose wing cancer!" exclaimed Sweetie Belle. "Oh my gosh, how do we even _tell_ Scootaloo?"

"We've gotta get her to go to the doctor for something else," said Apple Bloom.

"Like what?" asked Sweetie Belle. "We can't make her sick, Apple Bloom."

"I know, I know," said Apple Bloom, "but we can make her _think_ she is!"

"How are we gonna do that?" said Sweetie Belle.

"Just follow my lead," said Apple Bloom.

* * *

Apple Bloom asked Granny Smith if Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo could spend the night, and she agreed. Scootaloo seemed to be in better spirits when she came back for the sleepover. They made pies with Granny Smith, played cornhole with Big Mac, and told scary stories with Applejack before settling down to sleep.

Scootaloo snored. Apple Bloom woke up to the sound and got to work. She placed a hot water bottle on Scootaloo's head, and, while holding her breath, sprinkled pepper around Scootaloo's sleeping bag. Scootaloo's nose twitched slightly, but she didn't stir.

At the crack of dawn, Apple Bloom awoke and removed the hot water bottle, then sprinkled some more pepper for good measure. This time, Scootaloo sneezed.

"Ugh," Scootaloo moaned. "Goodness, why's my head so hot?"

"I dunno, Scootaloo," said Apple Bloom. "Do you think you have a fever?"

"I don't...," Scootaloo started, then sneezed. "Ugh, what the hay? Apple Bloom, why does your house smell like pepper?"

"Pepper? I don't smell no pepper. Are you sure you're okay, Scootaloo?" Apple Bloom asked.

Sweetie Belle woke up. "What are you two going on about already? It's barely morning!" she whined. "And why does it smell like-"

"APPLE CAKES!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "All I can smell is Granny Smith's freshly baked apple cakes, yep yep yep. And you said you smelled what, Scootaloo? Pepper? Are you sure your nose is alright? Maybe you should _see a doctor_ ," said Apple Bloom. "Don't you think she should go to _the doctor_ , Sweetie Belle?"

"Do I think...Scootaloo should...doctor?" Sweetie Belle repeated groggily. "Oh, YEAH!" She perked up. "Goodness, Scootaloo, looks like you've been sweating!"

"I do?" Scootaloo asked. She felt her mane. "Why, it's soaking wet!"

"GRANNY SMITH! BIG MAC! APPLEJACK! WE GOT TO TAKE SCOOTALOO TO THE DOCTOR!" Apple Bloom shouted.

"Apple Bloom!" exclaimed Scootaloo, throwing her hoof over Apple Bloom's mouth. "Don't wake up your family! I'll just go home and rest, okay?"

"NO!" Apple Bloom said. "You need a doctor NOW!"

"It's too early!" Scootaloo protested. "Just let me go home, alright? I'll let you both know how I'm feeling later."

"But what if you die later?!" Sweetie Belle squeaked.

"What the hay is with you two? All I did was sneeze!" Scootaloo said. "I gotta go. You're both acting weird."

" _Promise_ us you'll go to the doctor, Scootaloo! You just can't die!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both started to cry.

"If I go to the doctor, will you both stop?" asked Scootaloo. They nodded. "Okay, fine. I'll let you know." She picked up her sleeping bag, sneezed one more time, and left.

"Well, now we wait, I guess," said Apple Bloom.

"You know, if she _does_ have cancer, she's going to be _really_ upset," said Sweetie Belle.

"You're right," said Apple Bloom. "We should get some stuff together for her, to let her know we'll be there for her no matter what!"

So Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom gathered some art supplies and made a banner that said, "WE LOVE YOU SCOOTALOO! BEAT CANCER!" Then they decided to go to Sugarcube Corner to buy some sweets.

After they left, Applejack awoke and went to check on the girls. She saw the banner on the floor and gasped. "Cancer? Scootaloo? Since when?" she asked herself. "Awww, the poor things must be devastated! We've got to do something!" She galloped back to her room to message her friends.

* * *

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom retrieved the banner from the Apple residence before meeting up with Scootaloo later. They put it in the bag with flowers and sweets. "Hey, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom," Scootaloo said. "What's with the flowers?"

"Oh! Ummm...well...how are you feeling?" asked Apple Bloom.

"I've been fine since I left _your_ house!" Scootaloo declared. "The doctor said there's nothing wrong with me."

"Good!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, throwing her arms around Scootaloo.

"And the doctor checked everything?" Apple Bloom pressed.

"Yeah, he did a full physical since I hadn't been there in a while," said Scootaloo. "I'm as healthy as a filly can be."

"SCOOTALOO!" came a voice from above them. Rainbow Dash dive bombed onto the scene. "Scootaloo, ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!" She picked up Scootaloo and hugged her. "Don't you worry about a thing, Scootaloo. I'll be right there with ya, you little fighter, you!"

"Ummm...thanks?" Scootaloo asked.

"Okay, so, I know you haven't officially told us yet, but Applejack overheard everything, and we just _had_ to show our support, so...we're throwing you a benefit tonight," said Rainbow Dash.

"A benefit?" Scootaloo asked.

"A benefit?!" Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Yeah! We wanted you to know that we were all going to be behind you 100%. It's at Twilight's castle at 6:00. See you there!" Rainbow Dash squealed before hugging Scootaloo and flying off again.

Scootaloo had the most confused expression on her face. "All this because I sneezed this morning?"

"Uhhh...yeah!" Apple Bloom said. "Come on, Sweetie Belle, we've gotta go take these flowers over to the castle!" She pulled Sweetie Belle away.

"Ummm...see you later, Scootaloo!" Sweetie Belle called over her shoulder.

When they were outside the castle, Sweetie Belle stopped Apple Bloom. "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!" she cried.

"I DON'T KNOW! Ugh! Why does everypony have to be so darn nice!" Apple Bloom lamented.

"Well, I think we ought to tell our sisters," said Sweetie Belle. "Maybe Rarity and Applejack can come up with some way to fix this. They're national heroes, after all."

Apple Bloom opened her bag and took out the flowers and cupcakes. "Let's get these inside, at least," she said. "Hey, Sweetie Belle, do you have the banner we made?"

"No," she said. "I thought you had it."

* * *

"What. The. Hay," Scootaloo said, looking at the banner Apple Bloom had dropped. "Why would they think I have cancer? BECAUSE I SNEEZED?!" She rolled up the banner, loaded it onto her scooter, and headed back to the doctor's office.

* * *

It was 6:00. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom had searched everywhere they could think of for the banner. "We never should have made that thing in the first place!" said Apple Bloom. "Now the whole dang town thinks Scootaloo has cancer!"

"We shouldn't have jumped to conclusions based on just a paragraph we read on the Internet," said Sweetie Belle. "I'm sorry I ever went on that website."

"I know. Me too," said Apple Bloom. "But we only did it because we care about her."

"Do you think she'll be mad?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I think a whole lot of ponies are going to be mad," said Apple Bloom. "Oh well, here goes nothing!"

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle entered Twilight's castle, which had been decked out in balloons for the occasion. The whole gang was there, laughing and enjoying food. The banner was strung across the room.

"WAIT!" Sweetie Belle called to everypony.

"STOP THE PARTY! WE HAVE A CONFESSION!" Apple Bloom shouted.

"SWEETIE BELLE! APPLE BLOOM!" Scootaloo greeted them from the center of the room. The doctor was beside her. She ran out to meet Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. "Guess what, guys! I DON'T HAVE CANCER!"

"Ummm, yeah," said Sweetie Belle. "We kinda figured that out too."

"So you're not mad?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Well, I'm _confused_ , but why would I be mad?" Scootaloo asked. "Check out this sweet Scootaloo Doesn't Have Cancer party I got!"

Pinkie Pie bounced over blowing a party horn. "What better reason to have a party?" she asked.

"So, why _did_ you guys think she had cancer?" Applejack asked.

"You had us all in quite the tizzy, darlings!" Rarity added.

"I felt like the world was ending!" Rainbow confessed.

"It's my fault," said Sweetie Belle. "Yesterday Scootaloo was looking up information on flying. Apple Bloom and I wanted to help, so we went on that one medical website you always use, Rarity."

"Medical website?" Rarity asked. "Oh! You must mean..."

"WebMD?" the doctor finished. He sighed, then started to laugh. "Oh, if that thing hasn't caused more ponies rushing through my doors than ever before!"

"This website told you that Scootaloo had cancer?" Twilight clarified.

"Not exactly," said Apple Bloom.

"Allow me," said the doctor. "WebMD is a marvelous tool. It allows you to type in symptoms, and it shows you possible diagnoses. _All_ possible diagnoses."

"Oh, I get it," said Applejack. "One of the answers to the question was cancer, and ya'll ran with it."

"We were just so worried it might be that, and we wanted to know, so we convinced her to go to the doctor," said Apple Bloom. "We're sorry about the banner. We just knew that if it _was_ cancer, that Scootaloo would be really upset, so we wanted to be prepared for that."

"That is both the pro and the con of showing so many different explanations," said the doctor. "It gets ponies' attention and encourages them to visit me. But it can go too far. I have ponies walking in with simple headaches thinking it could be cancer."

"I reckon we _all_ jumped to conclusions," said Applejack. "I should have talked to you two about the banner _before_ I talked to everypony else."

"Fascinating!" Twilight said. "Would both of you be willing to write an email to Celestia about this?"

"Yeah, but, can we have some cake first?" asked Apple Bloom.

"Of course!" said Twilight.

So they celebrated their friend's lack of ever having cancer until they collapsed. Before Applejack and Rarity took the girls home, they wrote,

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **The Internet is full of information. It can be hard to figure out which information is useful, and what isn't. We were trying to help our friend with a problem, and we ended up thinking that things were way worse than they really were. We jumped to conclusions before we knew all of the facts. The Internet can give ponies a sense that they know way more about a topic than they actually do. It's important to leave things like diagnosing an illness to professionals. An expert can help you figure out what is and what isn't true. But it's also nice to be kind of informed about something before you do go talk to a doctor. Just as long as you don't try to tell the doctor how to do his job. Or throw a fundraiser for cancer that doesn't exist. Don't get anypony else involved until you know all of the facts!**

 **Your friends,**

 **Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom**


	9. Up All Nights

**A/N: As much as I'd love to take credit for Trixie's random lines at the end of this chapter, most of them came from the Top Tens Random Sentence list** **.**

* * *

"Starlight Glimmer!" Trixie exclaimed. "I'm so excited you're here!"

"Yeah!" Starlight agreed, putting down her overnight bag.

"I was kinda surprised when you reached out to me," said Trixie. "I thought you were too tight with Princess Twilight Sparkle and the Magical Friendship Squad to remember me."

"No, not at all! I mean, I was with them a lot, but Twilight keeps cancelling our meetings due to Internet problems," Starlight said.

"Internet problems?" asked Trixie. "Like, you don't do in-person meetings anymore?"

"Well, now that you mention it, we have met over Skype more than we've met in person recently," said Starlight, "but that's just the symptom. Now that Celestia has Twilight sending her 'State of the Internet' reports, Twilight is way more focused on that than helping me be a good friend."

"Typical," said Trixie. "You're old news now, Starlight. If you ask me, this whole Internet thing is way overrated."

"You're so right!" said Starlight. "It obviously causes nothing but problems."

"What ever happened to real magic?" Trixie lamented. "Unicorns used to be the elites of the pony world. Now everypony can just use 'technology' to get what they want. Starlight, if _everypony_ can be great and powerful, then is _anypony_ great and powerful?"

"Haha...," Starlight said nervously, then noticed Trixie's computer screen. "Hey, is that Netflix?"

"Huh?" Trixie said, pulling out of her philosophical musings. "Oh, that. Yeah, I got a free trial. I haven't used it, though."

"The girls are _all_ using it," said Starlight. "Sometimes they spend all night long watching a series."

"What a terrible waste of time!" Trixie whined. "Hmm...if Twilight is so preoccupied with the Internet, I wonder if she will start to lose her magical powers from lack of practice! And if I practice doubly, then I can be a Princess!"

"Huh?" asked Starlight.

Trixie shook her head. "Oh, nothing, just thinking out loud, dear!"

"I've actually been wanting to watch this _Stranger Things_ show they've been raving about," said Starlight. "Oh, can we watch just one episode?"

"I was really hoping to show you some of my new magic tricks," said Trixie. "But, just one episode couldn't hurt. It is free after all."

"And then after that, we'll work on our magic," agreed Starlight.

"Agreed," said Trixie.

 _ *****45 MINUTES LATER******_

Starlight and Trixie looked at each other. "So...," said Starlight.

"Soooo...," said Trixie. "I guess we can work on our magic now?"

"Yeah...," said Starlight, looking longingly at the TV. Neither pony moved.

"Or...I could make us some popcorn...," said Trixie.

"Yesss?" said Starlight.

"And we could...maybe...watch...just one more?" asked Trixie.

Starlight breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank Celestia! I just can't leave without knowing what happens next!"

"Right!" Trixie squealed. "Okay, okay, okay! Popcorn, coming right up!" She leaped off the couch and headed into the kitchen. The show's theme music emitted from the speakers. "STARLIGHT YOU BITCH YOU BETTER NOT START WITHOUT ME!"

"I DIDN'T! IT JUST STARTED ON ITS OWN!" Starlight screeched.

"WHAT?!" Trixie replied. "PAUSE IT PAUSE IT PAUSE IT!"

Starlight magicked the TV, and the show froze. "Phew!" Starlight said.

Trixie used magic to speed up the popping process. "Okay, magic practice done," she said. "The great and powerful Trixie is ready to see what happens to the great and powerful Eleven!"

 _ *****ONE DAY LATER*****_

Twilight Sparkle turned on her computer and opened Skype. She tried to call Starlight, but Starlight wasn't online. "Huh, that's weird. Starlight never misses a friendship session," Twilight said to herself. She picked up her phone and sent Starlight a text.

Starlight and Trixie were asleep on the couch. The _Stranger Things_ theme drowned out the sound of Twilight's texts. Eventually, they were awakened by a call.

"UPSIDE DOWN!" Trixie shouted upon awakening. "Uhhh...what?"

"Twilight called?" Starlight asked, picking up her phone and reading the notifications. "What time is it?"

"Who cares what time it is...DID THEY GO TO THE UPSIDE DOWN?!" Trixie exclaimed.

"Yes? I mean...oh no! OH NO! I don't remember!" Starlight answered.

"GAH! WE FELL ASLEEP!" Trixie shouted.

"And it kept playing! Well, we have to go back!" Starlight said.

"Curse you, sleep!" Trixie lamented. "Hey, Starlight, is there a spell that can keep a pony from sleeping?"

"Maybe?" asked Starlight. "I haven't ever used one, but I'm guessing we can find it."

"Good, because The Great and Powerful Trixie has a new goal," said Trixie, "to watch all the Netflix!"

"All the Netflix?" Starlight asked. "As in, every episode of everything!"

"YES!" Trixie exclaimed. "Then I will miss nothing. Not a single reference. Not a single spoiler shall spoil me. The Great and Powerful Trixie will always be ahead! That will show all these Internet loving brats! Hahahaha!"

"I feel like this is not a good idea!" said Starlight.

"And why not?" asked Trixie. "Don't tell me you're on _their_ side!"

"I'm not on anyone's side! I want to be friends with you both, but this idea is kind of crazy!" said Starlight.

"Fine!" Trixie snapped. "If you won't help me, I'll get help myself!"

Starlight sighed. "Okay, Trixie, I'll help you. In fact, I'm pretty sure I know where I can find what you're looking for."

* * *

Starlight barged into Twilight's castle. "Twilight! Twilight! I'm here! I'm so sorry I missed it!"

Twilight looked up from her computer. "Starlight! No, no problem. I'm just happy to see you're safe! I was getting worried about you!"

"No need to worry! I just slept in this morning is all," said Starlight. "So, what aspect of friendship are we going to study today?"

Twilight levitated her notebook in front of her, and she flipped through the pages. "Let me see...oh! I think we should talk more about helping your friends!"

"You don't say?" Starlight mused. "Okay, Twilight, tell me everything you know!"

Twilight began a long series of anecdotes about how her and her friends have helped each other and other ponies. Starlight's phone buzzed with texts from Trixie asking if she had found the spell yet. After about the tenth anecdote, Starlight decided she'd heard enough and cast a sleeping spell on Twilight.

Once Twilight had fallen asleep, Starlight began pouring through the library. Spike wandered in. "Hey, Twilight, where did you put the...oh, hi, Starlight."

"Hiiii Spike," said Starlight. "I'm just trying to locate this book for Twilight. Do you know where I might find an anti-sleeping spell?"

"An anti-sleeping spell?" Spike asked. "What does she want that for?"

"Research," said Starlight.

There was a tablet sitting on a stand in the corner. Spike pulled up a step-stool and started poking around at the screen. "This tablet has a log of all of Twilight's books. Looks like there are 52 books that contain sleeping spells. Is there any in particular she wants?"

"She didn't say exactly. Let me just take a couple," Starlight said.

Spike gathered three of the top books on the list and handed them to Starlight. "Anything else I can help you with?"

"No, thank you, Spike," said Starlight.

"Pleasure to be of assistance. Hey, when you see Twilight again, tell her I'm looking for my scale shampoo."

"Okay," Starlight giggled. "Goodbye!"

"Have a great day!" said Spike.

Starlight brought the three books to Trixie. Trixie took the first one and flipped through it quickly. Her eyes lit up about halfway through the book. "Oooooh! Here's something!" Trixie said. She cleared her throat and read: "The wizard Starbuck unlocked the key to keeping ponies awake for unnaturally long periods of time. He was able to enhance the already well-known anti-drowsiness charm through the enchantment of the sunlight bean."

"Sunlight bean?" Starlight asked.

Trixie continued reading, "The sunlight bean grows in warm, tropical environments."

"Oh, well, I guess that rules that out," said Starlight.

"While no longer sold as an enchantment, the drink made from the sunlight bean has become a staple menu item in many restaurants, and ground sunlight beans can be purchased in most large marketplaces," Trixie continued. "Well, what are we waiting for?" She zoomed out of the house.

Starlight glanced down at the page. "Hmm, remarkable," she said. "Seems simple enough. I wonder why everypony isn't using this anymore?" She shrugged, closed the book, and tried to catch up with Trixie.

Acquiring the beans was as easy as the book suggested. They brewed the beans according to Starbuck's recipe, and together, Trixie and Starlight enchanted it. "To being better than everyone else," Trixie said, picking up the cup and holding it up to Starlight.

"Ummm, I was going to say, 'to friendship,'" Starlight said.

"Ehhh, okay, that works too. _To friendship_ ," Trixie said, and they clinked cups. They swallowed the brew and immediately began to cough.

"I think I understand why this didn't take off," said Starlight. "This tastes awful!" She set down her cup, still mostly full. Trixie, on the other hand, chugged her drink and the rest of what was in the pot. "Trixie..."

Trixie was glowing. "Okay-Starlight-now-let's-finish-Stranger-Things!" she said, bolting into the next room.

"What...?" Starlight said.

"Why-is-everything-so-slow-Starlight-the-Netflix-is-so-so-slow-so-so-slow!" Trixie said. "Even-you-are-so-so-slow-hey-Starlight-why-so-slow-why-is-the-TV-slow-the-Internet-is-slow!"

"It's...it's going the same speed as yesterday, Trixie," said Starlight. "Hey, I think you drank too much of that stuff...erm..."

"Okay-whatever-Starlight-let's-watch-everything-now," said Trixie.

Starlight put her arm around her friend. "This will wear off, right?" she asked herself. "Of course it will wear off. Nothing to worry about..."

 _ *****THE NEXT DAY*****_

Starlight woke up on the couch beside Trixie. Trixie was still staring at the screen. A different theme song was playing, and unfamiliar credits started to roll. "Okay-we're-done-with-that-one-now-what's-next?"

"You haven't slept, have you?" Starlight asked with a yawn.

"Nope-not-tired-and-while-I-watched-I-also-made-this-scale-model-of-Canterlot-out-of-popsicle-sticks-I-just-have-so-much-energy-I-can't-even," said Trixie. "Put-on-a-new-series-we-need-to-watch-everything." She got out of her seat and started galloping in circles around the couch.

"Okay...," said Starlight, choosing the next program on Trixie's list. "Hey, Trixie, what was that last show about?"

"Something-about-ponies-in-jail-and-stuff," said Trixie, still going in circles.

"What were their names?" Starlight pressed. "What did they do?"

"Stuff," said Trixie. "Lots-of-stuff-I-watched-it-all."

"You can't remember?" Starlight asked. She sighed, then picked up the spell book. She looked over the page that contained the recipe, then flipped it. "Starbuck eventually stopped producing the potion do to widespread misuse and consequences to the ponies using it," she read. "One cup keeps a pony awake for an entire day. Every cup added from there on increases the effects exponentially. The potion produces too much energy for a pony's body to process. Ponies could be awake for _years..._ and they couldn't remember anything. They did meaningless, repetitive tasks to keep themselves occupied and expel the excess energy. When the potion eventually wore off, there were severe consequences on the pony's health. Some ponies had to be hospitalized for the rest of their lives! Some died before the potion could wear off! Ponies need sleep. The fatal flaw of the potion is that it does not regulate the bodily functions of the consumer to keep the pony awake in a normal, healthy manner. Oh, Trixie, what have we done!"

Trixie was still going in circles. "This-is-a-good-show-don't-you-think-Starlight?"

"Oh, Trixie, please forgive me," said Starlight. She picked up the phone and called Twilight.

"Starbuck's brew?!" Twilight screamed into the phone. "How did you get a hold of that spell? It's forbidden!"

Starlight looked at the front of the spellbook. It was called _THE MOST DANGEROUS FORBIDDEN SPELLS KNOWN TO PONIES_. Well, they probably should have paid more attention to the title. "Oh, ummm, you see, Trixie had this idea that we were going to watch everything on Netflix, but we kept falling asleep, so...I might have snuck into your library and found some."

"You stole from my library?" Twilight asked, hurt. "Okay, okay, we'll discuss that later. I need to find the counter to this spell. I'm not sure that I have it. I might have to go to Canterlot."

"Oh, thank you, Twilight! I'm so sorry. I just...I just wanted to help my friend," said Starlight.

"Sometimes helping your friends means not doing what they want," said Twilight.

"Honestly, if I'd only read the title of the book or flipped over the page, I'd have known better," said Starlight. "Trixie just gets so intense sometimes that you don't have time to think. And now...well..."

"STARLIGHT-GLIMMER-YOU'RE-MISSING-THE-WHOLE-THING-ALSO-HAVE-YOU-EVER-WONDERED-WHY-THE-NUMBER-ELEVEN-ISN'T-PRONOUNCED-ONETY-ONE-LIKE-WHY-IS-THAT-STARLIGHT?!" Trixie shouted.

"Just keep her company until I arrive with the antidote," said Twilight.

Starlight stayed with Trixie for another whole day. Trixie's random musings had become basically unintelligible. The Great and Powerful Trixie was looking pretty weak and scary, with dark circles under her bloodshot eyes.

"STARLIGHT-LOOK-I'M-SO-BLUE-I'M-GREENER-THAN-PURPLE!" Trixie said in the middle some documentary about Sombra. Twilight burst into the house. "EWWW-EWWW-EWWW-WHAT-IS-SHE-DOING-HERE-NO-NO-NO-TWILIGHT-YOU-ARE-NOT-WELCOME-AT-MY-NETFLIX-BINGE-PARTY!"

"Trixie, listen," said Starlight. "I called Twilight."

"WHAT?!" Trixie shouted.

"I called Twilight because this is a dangerous spell that can kill you. Besides, you're not even watching the shows!" said Starlight.

"YES-I-AM!"

"Then what's this one about?" Starlight asked, pointing at the screen.

"BANANA-ERROR!"

"Exactly," said Starlight. "Alright, Twilight, she's all yours."

"She needs to drink this," said Twilight, levitating over a shiny brown drink.

"What is it?" asked Starlight. It looked exactly like Starbuck's brew.

"It's D. Calf's anti-brew. Very tricky! But I think it turned out well. She won't even know what's happening to her," said Twilight.

Starlight sniffed it. "Interesting," said Starlight. "Where'd you find the recipe?"

"In a book called _THE CURES FOR THE MOST DANGEROUS FORBIDDEN SPELLS KNOWN TO PONIES_ ," said Twilight.

"Well, that makes sense," said Starlight. "Hey, Trixie!"

"ON-A-SCALE-OF-ONE-TO-TEN-WHAT-IS-YOUR-FAVORITE-COLOR-OF-THE-ALPHABET?!"

"Trixie, you look like you're getting a little tired," said Starlight.

"I-AM?!"

"Yeah, and we have _soooo_ much more Netflix to watch!" said Starlight. "Here, Twilight brought you more sunlight drink."

"REALLY?!-THAT-IS-SO-NICE-OF-HER!"

"Yeah! She wants you to study Netflix for her, but you can't if you can't stay awake, so drink up!" Starlight said.

Trixie greedily took the cup in her hooves and chugged. Then, she fell asleep.

"Wow, that worked very fast!" Twilight exclaimed.

Starlight sighed and plopped down on the couch, exhausted. "I can't thank you enough, Twilight."

"It was actually kind fun making that potion," said Twilight. "So, let me get this straight...this all came about because of Netflix?"

"Yes," said Starlight. "Trixie decided she wanted to watch everything on Netflix."

"Why?" asked Twilight.

"She just always has to be the best at everything," said Starlight, "and everypony is always talking about shows on Netflix. She didn't want to be left out."

"Hm," said Twilight. "Well, I don't want to be here when she comes to her senses."

"I'll take care of it," said Starlight.

"And maybe the two of you could write a letter to Celestia about Netflix? I haven't done a study on it yet," said Twilight.

"I think that would be good," said Starlight.

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **So, we discovered this new thing called Netflix that lets you watch a bunch of shows whenever you want. It seems like everypony is always talking about it, but as soon as you finish one show, there's another one you need to watch. It just doesn't end, and it's really easy to get so caught up in trying to watch it all that you don't even really enjoy it while it's on. It becomes a chore. Sites like Netflix are supposed to entertain you on your free time, definitely not dominate your life. And it's definitely nothing to lose sleep over! We mean seriously. Ponies. Need. Sleep.**

 **Sincerely,**

 **Starlight Glimmer and the Great and Powerful Trixie**


	10. Catfish: Equestria

The doorbell rang. "IT'S ANTIQUING TIME!" Twilight sang, rushing to greet Sunburst.

"Hello, Princess!" Sunburst exclaimed. "Are you sure you have time for little old me today?"

"I _always_ have time for antiquing!" Twilight responded. "I had Spike clear my schedule! Anything in particular you're looking for today?"

"Umm, no," Sunburst said with a blush.

"Alright," said Twilight, finding his reaction weird, but since she really didn't know him much outside of antiquing she brushed it off. "Blind exploration is more fun anyways," she said. "Let's hit the shops!"

They went to the antique malls, and Twilight noticed Sunburst lagging behind to text. He also examined jewelry very closely. "What do you think of these?" he asked Twilight, pointing to a set of gold earrings.

"I mean, it's nothing I'd wear," said Twilight.

"Hmm, okay," said Sunburst. His phone pinged, and he cowered to look at it.

"Who are you looking for earrings for?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, no one, I was just-" Sunburst started, and the phone pinged again. He was starting to sweat. "Sorry, gotta take these," he said, wandering off to text.

"If this isn't a good time, we can reschedule," Twilight said.

"Oh no!" Sunburst said, then, "Uh, okay. You have to promise not to tell anyone."

"I promise," said Twilight.

"I'm looking for a present for a female friend," said Sunburst.

"Female friend, as in, Starlight?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, no! Starlight is my oldest friend, but this friend is-"

"Ohhhhh!" Twilight said, lighting up. "We're talking about a _mare-_ friend!"

His face turned red. "Yes, I suppose that is the term."

"What do you mean, you suppose?" she asked. "How did you meet her?"

"Well, ummm, we met online," said Sunburst.

"OOOOH!" Twilight squealed. "I've heard of this! Ponies are finding love connections online! I know Pinkie's sister Maud is very popular on RockDate," said Twilight.

"Oh, well, it wasn't anything like...did you say _RockDate_?"

"It's a dating site for ponies that like rocks," said Twilight, "which apparently is enough of a thing to have a whole site dedicated to it. So, what did you use? MagiDate?"

"It wasn't like that," said Sunburst. "She started following me on Twitter, and then she private messaged me, and then we exchanged numbers, and yeah! It just keeps going from there!"

"Have you met her in real life yet?" Twilight asked.

"No," said Sunburst.

"Oh, I see," said Twilight. "So it's a new relationship. That's exciting! You must be planning to meet her, right? Is that why you're looking for a present?"

"Well, actually," said Sunburst, "I'm looking for a present to show her that I am serious about her and that I really do want to meet her. As of right now, she keeps saying that she doesn't want to meet."

"RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG!" came Rarity's voice.

"Rarity! What are you doing here?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, sometimes I come here looking for unique gems to add to my designs," said Rarity. "Sorry to butt in on your conversation, but I couldn't help myself. Sunburst, darling, how long have you been talking to this...umm...what is her name?"

"Sugar Charm," said Sunburst. "And it's been six months."

"SIX MONTHS! Oh, darling!" Rarity said sympathetically.

"Well, you see, she's a model."

"Ohhhhh," Rarity moaned.

"What's wrong, Rarity?" Twilight asked.

"Sunburst, darling," Rarity said, "at least tell me you've Skyped with her."

"She doesn't have Skype," said Sunburst.

"Of course not," said Rarity. Rarity put her arm around Sunburst. "Darling, I hate to be the one to say this, but, I don't think that Sugar Charm is...well...real."

"What?!" Sunburst and Twilight said.

"But, I'm texting her right now!" Sunburst said. "Look!" He thrust the phone into Rarity's face.

Rarity lowered the phone with her hoof. "Have you talked to her on the phone? Heard her voice?" Rarity asked.

"Of course," said Sunburst. "We talk every night. This week, she told me she loved me."

"Do you love her?" Twilight asked.

"I do!" Sunburst beamed. "Oh, I do I do I do! But it's just so surreal. Like, can you imagine, me, with a model?"

"She's not a model," said Rarity. "But at least we know she's a mare."

"Yeah!" Sunburst agreed.

"Or a stallion with a mare's voice. Or a stallion with a sister," Rarity continued.

"Oh no! You really think she's not who she says she is?" Sunburst asked, panicking.

"I mean, I must agree with Rarity, that this all sounds kind of fishy," said Twilight.

"Catfishy, to be exact," said Rarity. "Sunburst, I have two friends who I think I can help you."

"OH!" Twilight exclaimed. "Naive and Silvermane!"

"YES!" Rarity squealed. "You see, Sunburst, a while back there was a gay stallion masquerading as me on the Internet. Naive and Silvermane had to bring some poor fellow straight to my doorstep to prove I wasn't the one he was talking to. I've kept in touch with them ever since," said Rarity. She pulled out her phone and started typing a message. "Do you mind?"

"Uhhhh...no," said Sunburst. "I've gotta meet Sugar Charm. Whoever she is. She knows me better than any pony I've ever met. I've told her things I haven't even told Starlight. I don't care if she isn't a model. I just need to know who she is."

"Perfect," said Rarity, "because they said they can come to Ponyville tonight."

"Tonight! Oh, my!" Sunburst exclaimed.

"Don't worry, Sunburst," said Twilight. "We'll be right here beside you the whole time. This is going to make such an awesome letter to Celestia!"

They gathered at Rarity's house for the first meeting. First, a crew of ponies carrying cameras entered.

"Wha-what is this?" Sunburst asked, pulling his cloak around his face.

"Oh, you don't know?" asked Rarity. "Naive and Silvermane have a TV show. You're going to be on TV."

"I'm going to be WHAT!?" Sunburst exclaimed.

"RARITY!" called two stallions.

"DARLINGS!" Rarity gushed. She galloped from her seat to the door and threw her arms around the stallions who had entered. The first was tan and thin with a thick black mane and tail. The second was blue with a silver mane and tail.

"Where is the hopeful?" asked the tan stallion.

"Right this way," said Rarity. "Sunburst? This is Naive Heart and Max Silvermane."

"Nice to meet you, Sunburst," said tan and thin Naive.

"Likewise," said Sunburst. "I'm sorry. I didn't know this was all going to be recorded."

"Oh," said Silvermane, putting down the smaller camera he had opened. "We're sorry. We should have asked first. Private gig, then?"

Naive groaned, then said, "Fine. Back to the train, everypony."

The camera crews sighed and started packing up. "Oh," said Sunburst. "Well, you don't have to do that. They can stay."

"You're okay with being on TV?" Twilight clarified.

"You can back out at any time," said Silvermane, whipping out the camera again. "So, Sunburst, tell us a little bit about yourself and your beloved."

"Oh, I hope this is one of the good ones!" Naive said.

"Define good one," said Silvermane.

"Well, the ones where they live happily ever after, of course!" said Naive.

"Rather boring if you ask me. I like the twists," said Silvermane.

Rarity cleared her throat, and the boys snapped their attention back to Sunburst. Sunburst proceeded to tell them how he became the Royal Crystaller and how he met Sugar Charm.

"Okay, well, there are a couple of classic tells that this pony is a catfish," said Naive. "Though I'm guessing Rarity already brought you up to speed on those."

"She did, yes," said Sunburst with a blush.

"Okay, so here's what's going to happen next," said Silvermane. "We're going to need everything you know about Sugar Charm. Phone number, social media profiles?"

"Yes, I can show you her Twitter profile," said Sunburst. "She doesn't have any other social media."

"A model, only has Twitter? Okay," said Silvermane. "We'll take this info and work our magic, then we'll meet here tomorrow and let you know what we find."

"Oh, okay, thank you," said Sunburst.

* * *

Starlight arrived shortly after Naive and Silvermane had left. "Twilight told me everything," she said. "Sunburst, seriously? A model?"

Sunburst buried his head in his hooves. "I know what it sounds like, Starlight. But I also know how I feel."

"How can you feel that way about somepony you haven't really met?" asked Starlight.

"I don't know," said Sunburst. "I don't understand it any more than you do. Hey, Rarity, how did Naive and Silvermane get into this? Why do they help ponies like me?"

"Yeah, I find it hard to believe that there are this many cases of ponies falling in love with Internet illusions," said Starlight. "Sorry, Sunburst, but this is all very silly to me."

"Actually, there really _are_ that many," said Rarity. "Naive was one of them."

"Haha, I could see that," said Twilight. "So he fell for a fake pony online?"

"Yeah, and it turned out to be a creepy old spinster," said Rarity. "So now he and his friend try to prevent other ponies from doing what he did. Your case is actually one of the milder ones. Some ponies go on like this for years."

"Years? My goodness," said Sunburst. "I couldn't imagine not meeting Sugar Charm for years."

"You know, I really hope," Rarity said, "I mean, I know she's probably not a model. But she could still be a really nice pony."

"But she has to be hiding something," said Starlight. "If she is a she at all."

* * *

Naive and Silvermane returned the next day as promised. "Okay," said Naive, sitting down next to Sunburst. "So, let's start with what we know for sure."

"Okay," said Sunburst.

"She's not named Sugar Charm, and she's not a model," said Silvermane.

"Okay," said Sunburst. "I figured as such."

"The pony whose pictures she's been using is a model," said Naive. "Her real name is Flawless Face, and she lives in Canterlot."

Silvermane opened a laptop and handed it to Sunburst. The mare on the screen was pale pink with a long, wavy, blonde mane. "Hi, Sunburst," she said. "I'm Flawless Face, not Sugar Charm. Sorry!" Silvermane closed the laptop and looked at Sunburst sympathetically.

"We're sorry, Sunburst," said Naive.

Sunburst's ears were down, and his eyes were large and sad. "I...I knew it probably wasn't her, but, seeing her like that is weird. I'm not really sure how I feel right now."

"Well, we've got more," said Naive. "We looked up her phone number, and it's a Canterlot number."

"Yes, she told me she lived in Canterlot," said Sunburst.

"Right! So so far it looks like that was not a lie," said Naive. "The number is actually registered to a Lemon Hearts."

"Okay...," said Sunburst.

"So you don't know this pony?" asked Silvermane.

"No," said Sunburst. "I've never heard of her."

"I have!" said Twilight suddenly. "I think. Let me see a picture."

Silvermane typed into the laptop and turned it to Twilight. "Yes!" Twilight said. "I know this pony! She was one of my old friends from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns!"

"Can you reach out to her?" Sunburst asked. "I mean, wow, why would somepony who looked like her think she needed to hide behind a picture of a model? She's very pretty."

"So, what I'm hearing now is that you would not be disappointed if you've been talking to Lemon Hearts," said Naive.

"It's all very confusing," said Sunburst. "It just doesn't make sense."

"I will say," said Silvermane, "this pony looks very happy and looks to be leading a pretty normal life. I'm not seeing any of the signs of a potential catfish here. But, Twilight, can you reach out to Lemon Hearts?"

"Sunburst," said Twilight, "what is Sugar Charm's phone number?"

Sunburst handed his phone to Twilight. She compared. "Hm," said Twilight, "that's not the number I have for Lemon Hearts here."

"Sometimes catfish use two phones," said Naive. "Are you comfortable calling Lemon Hearts, Twilight?"

"We're not _that_ close anymore, but, sure," said Twilight. "I don't see any other option. I'll do it."

"Hold on," said Silvermane. "Let's whip up a script for you. We don't usually have friends make calls like this."

"Usually Naive does it," said Rarity. "He's got quite a knack for it."

Naive blushed. "I think the Princess of Friendship can handle it, Silvermane," he said.

Twilight took a deep breath. "Okay. Here goes nothing." She dialed Lemon Heart's number. "It's going to voicemail," said Twilight. "Hi, Lemon Hearts? This is kinda strange, but, do you know a stallion named Sunburst? I'm trying to help him out with an...erm...Internet problem. Call me back and let me know. Thanks!" She hung up. "How was that?" she asked the guys.

They looked at each other and shrugged. "I guess we wait," said Naive.

"Yeah, let us know when you hear back from Lemon Hearts," said Silvermane.

The camera crew started packing up when Sunburst's phone pinged. "It's her!" exclaimed Sunburst.

Twilight looked at her phone. "Nothing," said Twilight. "Weird. What is she saying?"

"Nothing unusual," said Sunburst.

"Sunburst, when was the last time you asked 'Sugar Charm' to meet up?" asked Naive.

"Not long at all," said Sunburst.

"Ask her again," said Naive.

"Tell her you're coming to Canterlot tomorrow," said Silvermane.

"Going to Canterlot...tomorrow?" asked Sunburst.

"Well, of course, darling," said Rarity. "That's where Sugar Charm...or Lemon Hearts...or whoever she is, lives. We're going to find out who she is, one way or another. Naturally we'll go to Canterlot."

"Oh, okay," said Sunburst. He typed the question into the phone and sent it.

Twilight's phone started ringing. "It's Lemon Hearts!" Twilight exclaimed.

"WOAH!" Naive and Silvermane said together.

"Shhh!" Twilight ordered. "Hiiiii, Lemon Hearts! Yeah, it's kinda crazy! My friend Sunburst has been talking to this girl online, and he wants to meet her...well, I really didn't think so, but the phone number came up in your name...you don't know him? Has anyone in your family maybe talked about him?...oh, that's weird!...aha….I see...okay, thanks!" She hung up. "She says it's not her," said Twilight.

"She _says_ it's not her," said Silvermane. "I feel like the timing of that phone call was very suspicious."

"Or it could be just a coincidence," said Starlight, looking at Lemon Hearts' profile. "I have to agree with Twilight. She just doesn't seem like a pony who would do this."

"Although, ponies tend to put their best face forward on their profiles. So there may be something beneath the surface we just can't see," said Naive.

"Some ponies are just addicted to the thrill," said Silvermane.

"Sunburst, has Sugar Charm responded to your question?" asked Naive.

"She says she's busy," said Sunburst. "She says she has a photoshoot."

"Well, we know that's not true," said Silvermane. "Naive? I think it's time for you to work your magic."

Naive picked up his phone and dialed Sugar Charm's number. "She's not answering," said Naive. "Hey! Sugar Charm! This is Naive Heart from a show called Catfish. I'm here with Sunburst, who you have been talking to online, and he really wants to meet you. We are coming to Canterlot tomorrow, so please call me back and let us know when and where we can all meet up. Thanks! Bye." He hung up.

"And now we wait," said Silvermane.

"In the event that she doesn't respond," said Naive, "Twilight, do you know where Lemon Hearts lives?"

"No," said Twilight, "but I know where a couple of our friends live. We can start there."

"Perfect," said Naive. "Okay, we'll leave you for today. Sunburst, get your bags packed for Canterlot."

"Ohh, can we come too, darlings?" Rarity asked. "This is just so very exciting."

"Well," said Silvermane, "you can come, but when we go to meet Sugar Charm, it should probably just be us and Sunburst, and maybe Twilight if we need her. We don't want to overwhelm Sugar Charm."

"Yes, yes, of course," said Rarity. "We can have fun in Canterlot, don't you think, Starlight?"

"Okay," said Starlight. "I just hope you're going to be okay, Sunburst. This isn't like you."

"I feel stupid," said Sunburst, hanging his head.

"You're not stupid," said Naive. Silvermane coughed, and Naive kicked him. "You opened your heart to somepony. Any time you do that, no matter who it is, you can get hurt, right? And you never know. Even if this isn't going to be a love connection, you could still end up friends."

"I think it might be very hard for me to be friends with somepony who lies," said Sunburst.

The atmosphere in the room had grown very tense. Silvermane said, "We're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's all go our separate ways for the night, give it some time to process, and meet up here again in the morning."

"Okay," said Sunburt weakly.

 *****LATER THAT NIGHT******

Sunburst was trying to get some sleep when his phone pinged.

 **SugarCharm: U CALLED CATFISH ON ME?!**

 **Sunburst: I told my friends about u and they were worried**

 **Sunburst: Turns out they were right**

 **SugarCharm: I told u we would meet when I can. I'm sorry I'm so busy it's my career tho**

 **Sunburst: But it's not…**

 **Sunburst: We kno ur not who u say u r**

 **SugarCharm: O rly? How do I kno ur who u say u r then?**

 **SugarCharm: Maybe I don't want to meet u. If u can't trust me then how am I supposed to trust u**

 **Sunburst: I want to kno who I've been talking to. Who I've told all my secrets to**

 **Sunburst: Don't u think I deserve at least that much?**

 **Sunburst: ?**

Sugar Charm stopped responding. Sunburst called Naive to let them know it was probably over, but he got a busy signal. Starlight walked in.

"Hey, Sunburst," said Starlight. "Pinkie Pie brought cupcakes. Do you want any?"

"I guess so," said Sunburst with a sigh.

"You were talking to _her,_ huh?" Starlight asked.

"Yeah, she's really upset," said Sunburst. "Ugh! I wish we'd never called those guys. I wish everything could go back to normal."

"And then spend years talking to somepony you never see?" asked Starlight. "I'm sorry, Sunburst. I just don't get it."

"I don't get it myself, if I'm being honest," said Sunburst. "I don't know. I moved to the Crystal Empire, and I guess...I was lonely."

"Well, why didn't you say something?" Starlight asked. "You know I'd come visit. We all would."

"I know, but it's not the same. You want somepony to always be there, you know? And Sugar Charm was there. And now I've lost her forever," said Sunburst. His phone rang, and he answered it. "Naive!" he exclaimed. "Hey! I talked to Sugar Charm...you did?...she did?!...oh, okay!...wow, thanks!...no problem!" He hung up. "Starlight! Pack your bags! We're going to Canterlot!"

Sugar Charm had called Naive back. The crew all boarded a train to Canterlot in the morning. They were meeting at the lake in Canterlot Park.

As agreed upon yesterday, only Twilight was allowed to come with to Canterlot Park, and even she had to stay back in the carriage. Naive, Silvermane, and Sunburst waited under a weeping willow tree.

A yellow unicorn approached. She had black thick-rimmed glasses, a red and purple mane, and wore a black sweater. "Hiii," she said timidly.

Sunburst looked at her in confusion. It certainly wasn't Lemon Hearts. She was definitely awkward looking, but not unattractive, Sunburst thought.

"Hello," said Silvermane. "Are you...Sugar Charm?"

"No," she said, then blushed. "Well, yes. My real name is Moon Dancer."

"Hi Moon Dancer," said Naive. "I'm Naive Heart, and this is Max Silvermane. And I guess you already know Sunburst."

"Hi," said Moon Dancer.

"Hi," Sunburst said cautiously.

"It's really you!" Moon Dancer said quietly.

"Yes," said Sunburst. "And you're..."

"Let's start with the obvious questions that I'm sure Sunburst has, that we all have," said Silvermane. "Why did you create the Sugar Charm profile?"

"I wanted to be somebody else," said Moon Dancer. "I didn't mean to get Sunburst into it. That was an accident."

"Why'd you want to be somebody else?" Sunburst asked. He still couldn't see anything wrong with this pony, besides the catfishing.

"I made an Instagram account," said Moon Dancer, "and ponies started making fun of me. So I decided to be someone else online. Sunburst, when I messaged you, I didn't mean for this to happen. I just wanted to tell you that I was a fan of yours. When you started messaging me back, I panicked."

"Ohh, okay," said Naive.

"I didn't know how to go back and say I wasn't that pony," said Moon Dancer. "I was afraid Sunburst would stop talking to me, and I didn't want that. Everything I said, except for the modeling, was all true."

"What do you do for a living, then?" asked Silvermane.

"I work at the Canterlot Archives," said Moon Dancer.

"I still don't understand," said Sunburst. "Why would anypony make fun of you?"

"Well," she said, "I'm not exactly a glam pony like you usually see on there. I'm certainly no Fashion Goddess."

"But that's what makes you special!" exclaimed Sunburst. "There's nothing wrong with you Sugar Ch-I mean, Moon Dancer."

Naive's face lit up. "Awwwww!" he started, and Silvermane pushed him aside.

"One more question. When we searched your number, it came up under the name Lemon Hearts. Is that another alias of yours?" asked Silvermane.

"Ohhh, weird," said Moon Dancer. "That's my friend. We share a phone plan. Oh! The plan's in her name!"

"Okay!" said Naive. "Does Lemon Hearts know about Sunburst?"

"None of my friends know," said Moon Dancer. "I'm sorry. You freaked me out when you said you'd told your friends," she said to Sunburst.

"Okay, so, now that everything's out in the open," said Silvermane, "and we're satisfied that you're not a psycho killer-" Moon Dancer chortled at this. "-would you guys want to spend some time alone?"

Moon Dancer and Sunburst looked at each other. "Yes," Sunburst answered. He approached Moon Dancer and hugged her.

"YESSSSS!" Naive squealed. "Happy ending!"

"Okay, alright, alright," said Silvermane, rolling his eyes. "We'll be in touch with both of you later."

"Okay," said Moon Dancer. "And thank you. I was upset yesterday, but, I needed this to happen."

"You're very welcome," said Silvermane. "And no more fake profiles!"

"Yes, you're beautiful just the way you are!" Naive agreed.

"Thanks," she said meekly. "I'm going to delete it."

Naive and Silvermane returned to the carriage. "That is so sweet," said Naive. "Look at them."

"Don't get ahead of yourself," said Silvermane. "But yes, they do seem sweet."

"I know her!" Twilight interjected.

"Really?" asked Naive.

"Yeah," said Twilight. "She's another one of my old friends from school." Twilight leaned out the window. "HEYYYYY MOON DANCER!" Moon Dancer turned around and waved to Twilight, and then she and Sunburst trotted off in the opposite direction. "So that went well?" Twilight asked.

"They're gonna get married," said Naive.

"They're gonna stay friends," said Silvermane. "We'll see after that."

 *****ONE MONTH LATER*****

Sunburst heard the Skype notification from the other room. He rushed in and saw Naive was calling him.

"Hey, Naive! Silvermane!" exclaimed Sunburst. The two stallions waved at him through the webcam.

"Hey, Sunburst!" asked Naive. "How are you?"

"I'm good!" said Sunburst.

"You still living in the Crystal Empire?" asked Silvermane.

"Yes," said Sunburst.

"Okay," said Naive. "Do you still talk to Moon Dancer?"

"Yes!" Sunburst answered happily. "In fact, she's coming here this weekend!"

"OHHHHHHHHHHH!" said Naive and Silvermane.

"So, what's going on with that, then?" asked Naive.

"Well, we're very good friends," said Sunburst.

" _How_ good of friends?" Silvermane fished.

Sunburst blushed. "We're not putting a label on it right now. But... _pretty_ good friends."

"HEYYYYYY!" Naive and Silvermane said.

"A happy ending!" Naive said.

"Yes," said Sunburst. "A very happy ending. Thank you."

"Well hey, all the best to you, man," said Silvermane.

"And Moon Dancer," said Naive.

"Thanks! You too," said Sunburst.

Naive and Silvermane ended the Skype call. "Hey," said Silvermane, "weren't we supposed to write some thing for the Princess?"

"Oh, shoot!" Naive said. "We completely forgot that! Do you think it's too late?"

"Better get that done now," said Silvermane. "We've got a ton of emails from ponies needing help with their online relationships. But I'm not about to slack off on a favor for the Princess, either," said Silvermane.

"Right," agreed Naive. "We'll keep it simple."

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **The Internet makes it easy to become somepony you're not. When you talk to ponies online, you can forget that there's a real pony on the other end. On the other hoof, sometimes that other pony becomes all too real. Sometimes it's easier to talk to a pony online than it is to talk to ponies in person. If you're lucky, you'll make real friends. If you're not lucky, you'll end up hurt or in danger. It's important to make sure the pony you're talking to is really who they say they are. And it's also not fair to play pretend online when there are real feelings at stake. Not everypony will have a story like Sunburst and Moon Dancer. If a pony seems too good to be true, they probably are. Never go to meet an online friend alone, and make sure to meet in public. If your online friend starts asking for real world favors like money or passwords, stop talking to them immediately. The Internet has the ability to bring together ponies who would never meet in real life, but it also opens the door for shady characters. But if ponies understand the red flags and how to stay safe, making friends online can be an excellent option for shy and lonely ponies.**

 **Your loyal subjects,**

 **Naive Heart and Max Silvermane**


	11. Add to Cart

"My, my, Pinkie," said Rarity, "where did you find this stuffed animal? It looks just like Gummy!"

Rarity had ordered a cake from Sugarcube Corner and decided to visit with Pinkie while she waited. Pinkie was practicing balloon animals, and Rarity noticed the new stuffed animal on Pinkie's bed.

The balloon kitten popped, sending bits of blue latex everywhere. "Isn't it cool? I ordered it online," said Pinkie.

"Online?" Rarity asked.

"Yeah! This lady on Etsy makes them. You send her a picture of your pet, and then, BAM! Stuffed Gummy at your door!" Pinkie said.

"Amazing!" Rarity said, holding the stuffed animal next to the real Gummy. "Oh, I must get one of Opal!"

"I'll send you the link," said Pinkie. "Hey, does this look like a hyena to you?" She held up a green balloon monstrosity.

"Maybe," said Rarity. "Are balloon hyenas in high demand, darling?"

"A master party planner must be prepared for anything," said Pinkie. "Next, a balloon wombat!"

After approving a few more balloon creations, Rarity returned home with her cake and opened her laptop.

"What was the website?" she asked herself. As if by magic, Pinkie texted her at that exact moment with the answer: "Etsy." Rarity typed "Etsy" into the search bar, and what came next, she wasn't prepared for. "Ohhhhh myyyyyyy," Rarity whispered to herself as she scrolled through the home page. "All this stuff. All this _delightful_ stuff! Where to find the stuffed animals...ohhhhhh look at that purse!" She clicked the purse, a rainbow feathered bag for only 20 bits! "Well, I must have it!" Rarity thought. "But how do I get it?" And then her eye floated to a large orange button next to the picture that said "Add to cart." The computer made a cute little "ping" sound when she clicked the button. Then, the browser navigated her to a new page titled, "You might also like…" Rarity's eyes lit up, and she squealed. It was full of rainbow and feathered things: pillow, scarves, hats, curtains, blankets, etc. "And this can all be mine," Rarity thought.

* * *

When spa day rolled around, Fluttershy rang Rarity's doorbell. "Hiii Rarity, ohhh, my!" Fluttershy said. Rarity was wearing a rainbow feathered hat, a rainbow feathered scarf, and of course, carrying the rainbow feathered purse. She also had rainbow bedazzled sunglasses and a rainbow gem necklace.

"What do you think?" Rarity asked.

"I think you look very colorful," said Fluttershy.

"Come in, come in!" Rarity said. "I just finished the living room!"

"Wow!" Fluttershy exclaimed. There was a rainbow blanket, a rainbow lamp, a rainbow chandelier, a rainbow rug, rainbow pillows, and a rainbow feather bouquet in a rainbow vase. "You really like rainbows, huh?"

"I got the whole collection on Etsy," said Rarity.

"My goodness!" said Fluttershy, examining all of the hoofmade goods. "How much did all of this cost?"

"Oh," Rarity said, blushing. "It wasn't _that_ much, darling. I mean, not as much as you might think. But now that you mention it, would it be okay if we just did the basic package at the spa today? My account does need a little recovery time."

"Oh, that's no problem at all," said Fluttershy. "I totally understand. I buy all my animal products on Amazon. Before I signed up for Prime, I was paying through the nose on shipping costs."

"What's this?" asked Rarity. "Amazon? Prime?"

"You haven't heard of Amazon?" Fluttershy gasped, amazed that there was something she knew about that Rarity didn't. "Why, Amazon has everything you can think of! And it's not all hoofmade like Etsy, so you can get things faster, and they're not _as_ expensive. Anyways, they just came out with Prime membership, which gives you free shipping on everything, for a fee of course. Since all my animals like different brands of food now, it's been worth it for me."

"Oh, that sounds marvelous!" Rarity squealed. "Okay, let's go to the spa, and then you're going to show me this 'Amazon Prime' thing."

* * *

After Fluttershy left, Rarity spent the rest of the night browsing Amazon. She found sewing accessories, exotic new fabrics, exclusive make-up, and other exciting items, and all of these she added to her virtual cart.

"Oh dear," she said when she saw the total. "That's a lot, even when you remove the shipping costs. Hm, I should probably just leave this here and wait for my bank account to recover from my last big purchase, don't you think, Opal?" Opal grumbled. "Oh, you're right, I should allow myself just one item," said Rarity. "Oh, but then if I get that, then I _have_ to get that...two items, yes, I can get _two_ items."

* * *

A month later, the friends gathered at the train station. "VACATION TIME!" Pinkie Pie shouted, pulling her multicolored luggage. Gummy sat on top of the biggest bag.

"Ohhhh yeah!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "I've been hyped for this for months!"

"Maretle Beach, here we come!" Applejack said. "Do you think I've packed enough sunscreen?"

"I brought some too, Applejack," said Fluttershy.

"Alright," said Twilight, looking at her itinerary. "The train is gonna leave in five minutes! Ohmygosh, where's Rarity?"

"Running late?" Applejack asked.

"You know, I haven't seen Rarity around in a while," said Rainbow Dash. "I went by her house the other day, and it was all dark. Did she go to Canterlot or Manehatten for her fashion business?"

"But wasn't this trip her idea?" Fluttershy asked. "I can't see Rarity missing this. We better call her."

Twilight nodded and pulled out her phone. "You guys better all get on the train," she said before dialing Rarity's number. It immediately went to voice mail. "Okay, that's weird," said Twilight.

"Do you think something's happened to her?" Applejack asked.

"I don't have a good feeling about this," Fluttershy agreed.

"I'll go fly by her house," said Rainbow Dash. "You all get on the train. I'll catch up with you."

"But what if something is wrong?" Pinkie Pie asked. "I don't want to leave Rarity behind."

"Then we're all in agreement," said Applejack. "We wait for Rarity."

"There will be other trains," said Twilight. "Go ahead, Rainbow Dash. We'll be waiting."

Rainbow Dash did what she did best. She flew off in a streak of color back towards Ponyville to Rarity's house. Just like she had said, Rarity's house was all dark. Rainbow knocked on the door.

The door cracked open. "Hello," said Rarity. "Are you here to..."

"RARITY!" Rainbow Dash cried. "What are you doing? We missed the first train to Maretle Beach!"

"Oh, yes, that," said Rarity. "I had something come up, darling. I can't go to Maretle Beach."

"You can't go?" asked Rainbow. "But _you_ picked the vacation spot!"

"And I'm sure it will be fabulous! But I simply can't go. I have so many orders to fulfill. I must complete them today. So I can't go."

"Then we'll postpone until tomorrow," said Rainbow. "Nobody wants to leave without you, Rarity."

"Tomorrow, yes, ummm, well, you see, I can't tomorrow, because...because because...I have to...go to a show tomorrow, yes, darling, that's it. I can't go tomorrow."

"What about the next day, then?" asked Rainbow.

"I'll...I'll still be at the show," said Rarity.

"Well, when will you be back?" Rainbow persisted. "You tell us. We can't take this trip without you. And..." She pulled the door open further. "...Why is it so dark in here?"

"Oh, it's not that dark," said Rarity. "Look! I got these fabulous candles on Etsy! Don't you just _love_ the scent?"

"Okay," Rainbow said, stepping into the house. "This is a little weird, Rarity."

"I really think it would be better if you all just left without me," said Rarity.

"WHY?!" Rainbow asked. "This isn't like you at all!"

And Rarity couldn't take it anymore. She burst into tears. "I had my electric and phone shut off to save money! I'm broke, darling! I can't afford to go on the trip! That's why I have to slave away making all these garments to sell! I need to make more money fast to pay for my credit card bills!"

"Oh my gosh!" Rainbow gasped. "What happened? I thought your business was booming!"

"It is, darling, it is! But I...I might have gotten a little carried away shopping."

"SO YOU OVERSPENT?!" Rainbow cried. "Oh my gosh, Rarity! How could you? Don't you know what your limits are? Budget things out?"

"Yes, yes, but, oh, you can just CLICK A BUTTON and stuff just ARRIVES at your door! Beautiful stuff you can't find anywhere else! It's like, how could I resist?"

"Ohhhhhh," Rainbow said, "it's _online_ shopping." Rainbow looked around and suppressed a laugh. "I can help you with this."

"You can help? How?" asked Rarity.

"Show me your computer," said Rainbow. Rarity took Rainbow upstairs to her sewing room. The computer desk was under a window. Magictopia was glowing on the screen. Rarity blushed and clicked over to the Amazon tab, and her Amazon cart came up, full of new items. "Alright," said Rainbow, sitting down and stretching her arms. "What do you think is a reasonable amount you can spend on shopping per month? Like, _before_ the Internet, what did you spend?"

"Oh, around 50 to 100 bits," said Rarity. "150 on special occasions."

"Alright," said Rainbow. She started hacking vigorously at the keyboard. She was typing stuff into boxes in a language that Rarity didn't understand. The computer pinged. "Done!" said Rainbow. "Okay, Rarity, try to check out."

"Check out?! But that cart had 1000 bits of stuff in it!"

"Just do it," said Rainbow, stepping out of the seat. Rarity sat down and clicked the "proceed to check out" button. However, the screen that came next was not the usual screen. Pictures of Rainbow Dash filled the screen, and in flashing rainbow text it said, "YOU HAVE EXCEEDED YOUR BUDGET THIS MONTH. TRY AGAIN NEXT MONTH." Then, she was redirected to the Wonderbolts fan site.

"That's...BRILLIANT!" Rarity gasped. "How did you do it?"

"Easy," said Rainbow. "I just played with the coding on the site for your account. Now, try going back to Amazon and look at your cart."

Rarity did as she was told. "It's empty!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Now I'll let you in on a secret," said Rainbow. "I have this same coding on my computer."

"Whatever would you need this for?" Rarity asked.

"I like to shop too!" Rainbow Dash said. "Flying accessories, video games, Daring Do fan merch, all kinds of frivolous stuff. When I discovered online shopping, it got bad for a while. I even had to move in with Fluttershy. That's when I worked on this coding."

"Oh wow, I never would have guessed," said Rarity.

"Well, this took care of the problem for me," said Rainbow. "And for Celestia's sake, ditch this dark house. Come to Maretle Beach with us."

"But darling," said Rarity, "I have absolutely no money."

"So? I'll cover ya," said Rainbow Dash. "Nopony will ever know."

"Oh goodness! I couldn't let you-"

"Not an option," said Rainbow. "I'll just adjust the coding so I can't buy anything at all this month to cover the costs."

"Oh my," said Rarity. "How can I ever repay you?"

"You don't have to," said Rainbow. "I'm serious. We can't leave you behind."

With tears in her eyes, Rarity hugged Rainbow. When they'd returned from their girl's trip, Rarity wrote an email to Princess Celestia.

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **Another potential problem of the Internet is that it can make you very lazy. For example, did you know that you can buy anything you want online with just a click of a button? Having access to every story everywhere is very dangerous for ponies like me who already love to shop! I needed a little help from my friends to remind me that material things are not nearly as important as spending time with ponies who love and accept you with all your flaws. I am very lucky to have the best of friends who don't care if I have the coolest clothes and trinkets. I mean, I still care, but I will always have my friends to remind me what really matters.**

 **Love,**

 **Rarity**


	12. FWD

Fluttershy finished her daily chores and sat down to check her email. At the top was a message from Discord, titled "Fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd: fwd:." Fluttershy thought that was a strange title, so she opened it to see what it was about.

 **DO NOT DELETE! THIS IS REAL! IT WAS ON THE NEWS!**

 **To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, but this is from my good friend Cheery Cheeks and she is an attorney. If she says that this will work, then this will work. After all, what have you got to lose? SORRY EVERYPONY! JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE! I'm an attorney. And I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured Microsoft will follow through on their promises for fear of a multimillion bit lawsuit similar to the one CiderCo filed against General Lightning not long ago.**

 **Dear friends. Do not take this for a junk letter. Silicon Star is sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, you will regret it later. Microsoft is now the largest Internet company and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program. Microsoft and EOL are running a beta test.**

 **When you forward this email to friends. Microsoft can and will track it (If you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.**

 **For every pony that you forward this email to Microsoft will pay you $245. For every pony that you send it to that forwards it on Microsoft will pay you $243 and for every third pony that receives it. You will be paid $241 within two weeks. Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.**

* * *

Twilight read the strange email from Fluttershy. "That makes no sense," she muttered to herself.

"TWILIGHT!" Spike shouted, bursting through the door. "Check your email!"

"Yeah, I am," said Twilight. "Fluttershy sent me the strangest-"

"Yeah yeah yeah! I got it too! Refresh refresh refresh!" Spike exclaimed.

"Okay?" asked Twilight. She pressed the refresh button. Spike had sent her a message with the same subject.

"Okay, now forward mine so I get the money," said Spike.

"Spike, I'm not convinced this is real," said Twilight.

"What? But what about Cheery Cheeks?" asked Spike.

"Okay, Spike, remember flat earth?" asked Twilight.

Spike shuddered. "That was a dark time."

"Remember what those websites all sounded like?" Twilight pressed.

"Yeah, they were awful," said Spike.

"Don't you think this email sounds a little bit the same?" Twilight asked.

"Let me see," said Spike. He pulled himself into Twilight's chair, forcing her out. "It _is_ worded strangely. But look! Cheery Cheeks is an attorney! She's personally endorsing it!"

Twilight groaned. "If this were actually from an attorney, it would be professionally worded and be on official letterhead."

"But it's an _email_ ," Spike pressed.

"You can still make it professional!" Twilight cried. "Okay, what can we do to verify this is real?"

Spike thought. "Google it!"

"Bingo!" Twilight beamed. "Let's look up this Cheery Cheeks."

Cheery Cheeks _was_ a real lawyer, but Twilight couldn't find any of the aforementioned "news" the message mentioned on Silicon Star. She sent the lawyer and the tech tycoon an email to verify.

* * *

 **FWD: Sacred Celestia has chosen you**

 **The Prince of Yakyakistan received this picture and called it "junk mail." 8 days later he died. A stallion received this picture and immediately sent out copies. His surprise was winning the lottery.**

 **Silver Shine received this picture and gave it to his secretary to make copies. She lost her job and he lost his family. This picture is miraculous and sacred.**

 **You were chosen to receive this and be blessed by the Sacred Celestia. If you forward her to your friends and families you will receive a blessing. If you do not you will be cursed.**

"Oh no!" Pinkie Pie squealed. "Prince Rutherford! I need to go to Yakyakistan _immediately_! Oh, and also send this. Celestia's orders, right, Gummy?"

Gummy blinked. Pinkie grabbed her alligator and threw all her things into luggage. After eating a stack of cupcakes, she boarded a train for Yakyakistan.

* * *

 **FWD: THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOO COOL!**

 **Try this! It really works! If you take this email and forward it to at least 5 ponies, including the pony that sent it to you, somepony will appear standing on the bridge. Let me know if you know them, okay?**

Rainbow cocked her head and stared at the picture. "Yeah right!" she said. "There's no way that's possible." She moved the mouse over to the "DELETE" button, looked back and forth, then pressed "FORWARD." After choosing the obligatory five ponies to send it to, she stared at the picture. She squinted at it. She got really close to the screen. "Just like I thought, not gonna happen!" She moved her mouse to the little "x," then thought, "Maybe it doesn't work until they've also forwarded it." She continued staring at the screen.

* * *

Twilight's phone pinged. It was a message from Rainbow that said, "FORWARD MY THING ALREADY!"

Twilight rolled her eyes.

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Rainbow I'm sorry but I'm not forwarding any more of these things.**

 **20%Cooler: BUT HOW WILL I KNOW WHAT PONY IS IN THE PICTURE?!**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: There isn't a pony in the picture, Rainbow. In fact, there might be a virus.**

 **20%Cooler: ?!**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Pinkie sent this "Sacred Celestia" thing to everypony, and our computers are really slow now.**

 **20% Cooler: I didn't see that. I've been staring at this same picture for hours.**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Come on, Rainbow, u kno that thing won't work.**

 **20%Cooler: *sigh* yeah…**

 **FriendshipIsMagic: Don't open any more fwd things, ok?**

 **20%Cooler: ok…**

* * *

Pinkie Pie arrived in Yakyakistan. The yaks recognized Pinkie and gathered around to greet her.

"PINK PONY HAS COME TO VISIT US!"

"Pink Pony bring party like last time?"

"Oh no...does Pink Pony bring bad news from Equestria?"

"YAKS GO TO WAR WITH PONIES?!"

"Hello everyyak!" Pinkie said. "I just came to see how you were all doing and to pay my respects to Prince Rutherford."

"Prince Rutherford will be very pleased and surprised to see you! Yaks bring you to the Prince."

"Thank you," said Pinkie solemnly, following the yaks. "When I heard the news, I just had to come! Prince Rutherford and all of you yaks have been such good friends of mine. So, who is in charge now?"

"Pink Pony speak strangely. What news? Why new yak in charge? Honorable Prince Rutherford always in charge!"

"Oh, you're right," said Pinkie. "Of course it is too soon to think about replacing Prince Rutherford. He is, of course, _irreplaceable_ , and will always be with you."

They arrived at the largest hut in the village, and a yak knocked on the door. "Prince Rutherford, Pink Pony is here to see you!"

"Ummm," Pinkie said.

The door swung open, and Prince Rutherford appeared. "PINK PONY COME TO SEE PRINCE RUTHERFORD? WE MUST HAVE PARTY!" he declared.

Pinkie was overwhelmed. She fell to her knees and shouted, "YOU'RE ALIVE! IT'S A MIRACLE! THANK YOU SACRED CELESTIA!"

"This strange new greeting. Yaks will learn," said Rutherford. Rutherford fell to his knees as well and exclaimed, "PINK PONY IS ALIVE! IT IS MIRACLE! THANK YOU SACRED YAK!" Pinkie and Rutherford hugged, and Pinkie started to cry. Rutherford said, "Why Pink Pony sad to see Prince Rutherford? No cry, Pink Pony! Greetings between friends should be happy."

"Oh, you're right, Prince Rutherford," said Pinkie. "I am crying from happiness at seeing you alive."

"Prince Rutherford honored to be loved so much by Pink Pony. Yaks will throw party in your honor," said Rutherford.

"Oh, no!" Pinkie exclaimed. "It is _you_ who should be honored! It's not everyyak who comes back from the dead!"

"What Pink Pony say? Come back from dead? Prince Rutherford no dead! Who say Prince Rutherford dead!?"

"I got an email that told me you were dead!" Pinkie explained.

"WHO IS EMAIL, AND WHY THEY SAY PRINCE RUTHERFORD DEAD?! PRINCE RUTHERFORD SHALL SMASH!"

"Email isn't...you mean yaks don't have email?!"

"SOMEONE IS SPREADING FALSE RUMORS TO TRY TO TAKE OVER MY KINGDOM! YAKS DECLARE WAR AGAINST EMAIL!"

"WAIT! Do you mean yaks don't have the Internet at all?"

"Thank you, Pink Pony, for alerting yaks about this threat! Please, tell yaks more about these great enemies Email and Internet."

"They're not enemies! They're things! The Internet is a network that links all of Equestria together, and email is a way you can communicate over this network! Look!" Pinkie Pie showed Prince Rutherford her smartphone, and pulled up the email. She even showed him the Sacred Celestia email. "Hmm, that's funny. It's running way slower than it usually does. But, that's the Internet. Oh, I _have_ to show you MEMES!"

"Pony magic astounding! Yaks want to possess magic too! Pink Pony will bring Internet magic to Yakyakistan?!"

"I will? Oh, that would be great! I'll go straight to Celestia and ask her how we can make that happen!"

"BUT FIRST!" said Prince Rutherford. "PINK PONY WILL TAKE PRINCE RUTHERFORD TO PONY WHO SAID PRINCE RUTHERFORD DIED!"

"Well, I don't know who wrote it originally, but...I got it from my mom," Pinkie thought aloud.

"THEN WE SHALL GO SEE THIS MOM PONY!"

"Uhhh," said Pinkie, "okey-dokey-lokey!"

* * *

Fluttershy, Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity, Twilight, and Spike sat in Fluttershy's living room. Discord floated on his own personal throne, sipping tea. "I'm hurt," said Discord. "My friends and I have vowed to be good online citizens. Why would you think we'd spread such drivel?"

"The geniuses behind #NOpal? Yeah, you're right, now sure why we'd suspect you at all," Rainbow said, rolling her eyes.

"Rainbow, Rainbow, Rainbow," said Discord, "what we did was _trolling_. Trolling is a single, thought-out comment meant to spark chaos. These emails are quite different. They pray on ignorance and doubt. I mean, I would _love_ to take credit for making you stare at a screen for hours on end, but alas, I cannot."

"It seems that some of the emails have a virus attached to them," said Twilight.

"See, that's just amateur," said Discord. "If you ruin ponies' devices, you eliminate your audience. You don't even get to see the result of your hard work. That's no fun at all. I really am insulted that you'd pin this on me."

"We're sorry, Discord," said Fluttershy.

"I couldn't sleep last night because of that Bloody Mary thing," said Rarity. "Ugh, who else would send emails like that?"

"Well, the problem is, because the emails are being bounced all over the place, I can't really run an IP-address check," said Twilight. "I'd have to track down every pony that's ever sent one ever."

"Well, that's plum near impossible," said Applejack. "Everypony has sent one!"

* * *

Pinkie Pie and Prince Rutherford traveled from the Pie household to Filly Delphia, where a childhood acquaintance of Mrs. Pie had sent the Sacred Celestia. "I'm really not sure where this pony lives," Pinkie confessed. She pulled up the picture of her from her mom. "Guess we'll just have to ask around."

"Big crowd of ponies over there," Prince Rutherford said, pointing down the street.

"Good thinking!" said Pinkie. They moved to the crowd, and a bouncy, carnivalesque beat was playing.

 _Listen up everypony, to what we say_

 _There's a lot of trouble out on the Internet today_

 _There's trolls, there's viruses, and malware too_

 _And all of these things want to infect you_

 _Have you noticed your device slowing down?_

 _Maybe you don't get reception all over town_

 _Maybe files you once had have disappeared_

 _Your favorite device is simply acting weird!_

 _Well friends you're in luck_

 _We've got the deal just for you_

 _Protecting your device_

 _Is something you simply must do_

 _Get the Flim Flam Brothers' Super Computer Cleaner Upper_

 _Take all of those nasty files_

 _And erase them before supper!_

"Flim Flam brothers!" Pinkie said.

"Why yellow ponies singing? Prince Rutherford no like this song," said Rutherford.

"They're trying to sell something," said Pinkie. "Come on, nothing to see here."

* * *

"Prince Rutherford find pony who sent email, or yaks declare war!" Rutherford declared.

"Oooookey-dokey-lokey," said Pinkie. "Why don't we stop in and ask Celestia about bringing the Internet to Yakyakistan?" In the distance, a bouncy, carnivalesque beat played. "Geez, the Flim Flam Brothers came here, too?"

"Pinkie Pie!" came a much friendlier voice.

"Twilight?" Pinkie asked. She turned around, and it was Twilight and Spike. "Hey! What are you two doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," said Twilight. "Oh, hello, Prince Rutherford."

"Pink Pony taking Prince Rutherford to find the pony that said Prince Rutherford dead. Prince Rutherford no dead," said Rutherford.

"I see that," said Twilight. "Oh, hey Pinkie, I think that Sacred Celestia picture had a virus attached to it. Also, you're definitely not getting money from Microsoft. I talked to Cheery Cheeks. That's a scam."

"Oh, no!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Hey, could this be why my phone has been doing weird things recently? Maybe I _should_ buy that thing from the Flim Flams..."

"The Flim Flams?" Twilight asked.

"Have they been to Ponyville yet?" asked Pinkie. "They're selling something that cleans up your computer."

"Interesting," said Twilight. "I'm going to meet with Celestia to get to the bottom of this chain email thing. Want to come? Maybe we'll find who sent the Sacred Celestia."

"Purple Princess Pony can find Lying Pony?" asked Rutherford.

"Well," said Twilight, "Maybe. It depends. I don't want to make any promises."

"If Purple Princess Pony no find Lying Pony, yaks declare war on Internet!"

"How can you...?" Twilight started, but Pinkie gestured for her to stop. "Yes, Prince Rutherford, I'll make sure we do all we can to find the Lying Pony."

"Purple Princess Pony is good friend," said Rutherford.

* * *

Celestia and Twilight huddled over the royal computer. "This is very interesting," said Celestia. "I've already dissected a few of these before. Let me see..." She opened the Sacred Celestia image. "Aha!" Celestia exclaimed.

"Aha?" asked Twilight.

"Here," said Celestia, "look at these other files from chain emails." She pulled up some other files. "They all have this same name," said Celestia.

"Malfmilf," Twilight read. "Okay? So they're probably all coming from the same source."

"The ones containing viruses, yes," said Celestia. "It's the same virus that slows down your computer until it eventually stops working."

"Ohhhh," groaned Pinkie. "None of my apps will open!"

"Yes, you're in the final stages of the Malf-milf virus," said Celestia.

"I guess I have to buy that thing," said Pinkie.

"Oh, you don't have to do that," said Celestia. "Here, let me show you how to delete it."

Pinkie handed Celestia the phone, and after tapping a few things, handed the phone back to Pinkie. "That's it?" said Pinkie.

"That's it," said Celestia. "I know the Flim Flam Brothers are selling a program that does it for you, but you really don't need it."

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Twilight cried. "Let me see that file name again!" She poked around Celestia's computer. "Malf-milf?!"

"What this have to do with lie that Prince Rutherford is dead?" Rutherford demanded.

"Everything," said Twilight. "Prince Rutherford, I've found the pony responsible for the phony email. Ponies, actually."

"Of course," said Celestia, bringing her hoof to her face. "Bring them here, Twilight."

* * *

"FLIM-FLAM BROTHERS! WAIT!" Pinkie cried. "My phone won't work! I need the Super Computer Cleaner Upper immediately!"

"Ah, you're in luck, little lady! We have just one left!" said Flim.

"But you need the phone adapter, which is just a teensy bit more expensive," said Flam.

"But much cheaper than buying a new phone," said Flim.

"Well, then it sounds like a good deal!" exclaimed Pinkie. "Actually, I just came from the royal palace. They're having all sorts of computer problems there! Have you sold your product to Celestia?"

Flim and Flam exchanged glances and put their heads together to whisper. They emerged a few seconds later. "We're here to help anypony and everypony, the great and the small," said Flam. "We would be honored to sell our product to the royal court at a special discounted price."

"Oh, they'll be so happy to hear that!" said Pinkie. "You must come immediately!"

Flim and Flam followed Pinkie back to the castle, ranting all the way about how many products they would sell after the princesses endorsed it. When they entered the court, Prince Rutherford was blocking their way.

"LYING PONIES!" Rutherford cried.

"Oh, hello, good sir," said Flim. "Are you one of the unfortunates with the computer virus this fine mare told us about?"

"Yaks no have computers," said Prince Rutherford. "Why Lying Ponies say Prince Rutherford dead?"

"Uhh, what?" said Flam.

"My name Prince Rutherford, leader of all yaks," said Rutherford. "Pink Pony say you write email that say Prince Rutherford dead."

"I'm sorry. I don't understand," said Flim. "Didn't you say you're Prince Rutherford?"

"That is correct, Lying Pony," said Rutherford.

"Are you referring to yourself in the third pony, or is there another Prince Rutherford?" asked Flam.

"NOW LYING PONIES SAY THERE ARE TWO PRINCE RUTHERFORDS?!"

"No no no, we're inquiring as to why you are using your name instead of saying 'I,'" said Flim.

"THIS HOW YAKS TALK. LYING PONIES HAVE INSULTED YAKS! YAKS DECLARE WAR!"

"NO!" shouted Pinkie. "Prince Rutherford, just let them through to Celestia, please? Then we'll talk discuss what should be done, together."

"Okay," said Prince Rutherford. "But Prince Rutherford not satisfied until Lying Ponies brought to justice."

"Oh, I can promise that, Prince Rutherford," said Celestia, stepping forward. "Flim and Flam, you are being charged with sending malicious emails to infect computers and boost sales of your unnecessary product."

"Unnecessary?" asked Flim. "Our Super Computer Cleaner Upper rids your device of all unwanted files!"

"That _you_ put there in the first place!" said Celestia.

"Now now now," said Flam, "we have no control over what ponies do with their devices before purchasing our product. If they don't know how to take care of their device, that is not our fault."

"We are merely providing a service for ponies who don't have any other options," said Flim.

"We are entrepreneurs," said Flam. "Is business a crime, Celestia?"

"I'd say fraud is a crime," said Celestia. "I'd say creating a virus is a crime."

"What, what, what? Creating a virus?" asked Flim. "How do you know, I mean, what makes you think...?"

"MALF-MILF?!" Twilight cried. "You think simply making it your names backwards was going to hide your identities?!"

"How-how did you discover the name of the file?" asked Flam.

"It's not hard," said Twilight. "Anypony who knows how to view all their folders can find it."

"Yeah!" exclaimed Pinkie. "Duh!"

"Flim and Flam, you must pay reparations to everypony who opened your virus," said Celestia.

"EVERYPONY?!" Flim and Flam cried.

"Now hold on here, Princess!" exclaimed Flim. "How are you going to know who all has the virus or not? Those emails have been forwarded millions of times..."

Spike spoke up, reading from his phone, "When you forward this email, Microsoft can and will track it for a two week time period."

"Huh?" said Flam.

"Well?" said Spike. "You actually tracked it, right? That's why I keep getting this pop-up advertising your product?"

"Erm...hehe...I mean," said Flim. "Flam, why would you do that?"

"Me? That was your idea!" retorted Flam.

"Okay, I've heard enough," said Celestia. "We'll get a print out of all those IP addresses. Guards, take Flim and Flam away." Flim and Flam went bickering to the Canterlot dungeons. Celestia turned to Rutherford and said, "There you are, Prince Rutherford. Are you satisfied now?"

"No," said Rutherford.

"No?" they all repeated.

"No," Rutherford said again. "Rutherford see that Internet is strange and bothersome pony magic, and yet, Rutherford feel like yaks are being left out."

"Oh!" said Celestia. "You want to bring the Internet to Yakyakistan!"

"Prince Rutherford feel like Internet can increase communication between our tribes, which will lead to better friendship between ponies and yaks, which, despite your Lying Ponies, is greatly desirable," said Rutherford.

"Of course we can bring you the Internet, Prince Rutherford," said Celestia. "It will be our honor!"

* * *

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **Thank you for sending Internet magic to Yakyakistan! Yaks like Internet very much. Yaks spending all hours of day on Internet! Yaks learning many things from Google, and communicating more with other species, but mostly, yaks make pictures with funny words on them. Yaks request that ponies post more videos of the furry creatures with pointy ears. Shenanigans of pointy eared creatures hilarious! Prince Rutherford has highest score on Smash Candy of all Yakyakistan. This is most excellent pony magic. Yaks lucky to have such good friends in Equestria.**

 **G2G TTYL,**

 **Prince Rutherford**

 **P.S. If there no way to remove ads in Tube of You videos, yaks declare war on ads lol**


	13. Nailed It

**A/N: Quick one! I'm going to actually look into some of these gaming requests now. It's a part of the Internet that I don't personally partake in, so any suggestions you might have to make the chapter(s) successful would be appreciated!**

* * *

Granny Smith saw the white glow from Applejack's room and sighed. "Dagnabit, Applejack! Look away from that lousy screen for a while!" she said, pushing the door open.

Applejack yawned. "What time is it, Granny?"

"It's midnight, Applejack," said Granny. "What, out of all the things that contraption does, it can't tell the time?"

"Oh, no, it can," said Applejack. "I just got on a roll is all. There are so many apple recipes on here. I've been saving all the ones I want to try."

"What do you need more apple recipes for? We have a whole book full of 'em, passed down through the Apple Family for generations," said Granny.

"I know," said Applejack with another yawn. "But it's fun to see what other ponies are doing. You know, Granny, there are all kinds of awesome DIY ideas on this website called Pinterest. You might actually enjoy this side of the Internet."

"Bah," said Granny. "I don't need to learn how to live from Internet ponies."

"Well, I'm going to try some of this stuff," said Applejack. "Starting with this one." She pointed to the screen, and Granny reluctantly looked.

"Candy apples?" Granny asked. "We have a recipe for candy apples."

"Not these ones! Look at all of the different flavors and toppings! Look at this one!" Applejack pulled up a picture of a rainbow candy apple. "I'm gonna make these for Rainbow Dash's Wonderbolt show this weekend."

"Well, alright, Applejack," said Granny. "Have fun."

The next day, Granny Smith went grocery shopping, then returned to find the kitchen a complete wreck. Applejack was completely disheveled, and there were multicolored apples everywhere, and multicolored goop all over the kitchen.

"What in tarnation?" Granny asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Granny," said Applejack. "My candy apples just aren't turning out right."

"What do you mean? You've been making candy apples since you was Apple Bloom's age," said Granny.

"I know, but these are different!" Applejack lamented. "I can't get the bands of color right. My first batch turned out brown."

Granny Smith examined the ingredients and products. "Hmmm," she said. "Well, let me see those there instructions."

The website showed a happy pink unicorn with a braided blonde mane in front of her rainbow candy apples. The headline said, "IF BUBBLEGUM CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU! FUN RAINBOW CANDY APPLES! YOU WON'T BELIEVE HOW EASY IT IS!" Granny scanned the instructions, which were buried in a bunch of rambling from Bubblegum about her history in the kitchen and how much she loves entertaining. "Alright, alright, I think I got it. Let me just give one a whirl there. Watch me, Applejack."

 *****ONE HOUR LATER*****

"DAGNABBIT! DAGNABBIT DAGNABBIT DAGNABBIT!" Granny cried, tossing all of her apples into the trash. "Let me see those there instructions again! ' _I was a pony who bought everything at the grocery store. I didn't realize how much more rewarding it was to make delightful treats from scratch'_ BLA BLA BLA No one cares about your life, Bubblegum!"

"Uhhh...Granny? We've gone through a lot of apples. Maybe I should just try something else?" Applejack said.

Granny looked up from the computer with a fierce expression on her face. "OHHHHHH NO! I'm not letting little-miss-everything-is-easy beat us! _We_ are country homemakers! No city pony is going to beat us at homemakin'!" She threw syrup onto the pan and grabbed the food coloring. "Applejack, bring me more apples!"

"Uhhh, okay, Granny!" Applejack said.

"DAGNABBIT! I'm out of red. Can you go to the store and get some?" asked Granny.

"Okay, Granny!" Applejack repeated, happy to be getting out of the kitchen. She ran to Sugarcube Corner for another box of food coloring. Pinkie greeted her.

"Oooh, whatcha making, Applejack? Looks colorful!" Pinkie said.

Applejack sighed. "I found this Rainbow Candy Apple recipe on Pinterest, to take them to Rainbow Dash's next competition, but they just weren't working. Granny Smith started helping, and now she's gone crazy! It's like she's competing against the pony in the blog or something."

"Oh, well, I make candy. Why don't I come over and help?" asked Pinkie.

"Oh, would you? That would be great. The kitchen looks like a war zone!"

"I make candy all the time! There's probably a trick to it you just don't know. Let me just have some lunch first," said Pinkie. She grabbed a can of frosting, opened it, licked the contents out at once, then tossed the can. "Okey-dokey-lokey, ready to go!"

* * *

Granny was staring at the instructions when they returned. "Hey, Granny! I brought Pinkie Pie to help make the apples! She knows all about making candy!" Applejack said.

"Excellent," said Granny, looking up from the computer. "Between us apple experts and you candy expert, we'll beat this Bubblegum for sure!"

Pinkie glanced over the instructions. "Got it!" she said. "Let's roll out that candy!"

 *****ONE HOUR LATER*****

Granny dumped another batch of apples into the trash. Pinkie hit her head repeatedly against the wall. Applejack cleaned off the spots of hard candy and food coloring that were all over the counters and walls.

"I surrender," said Pinkie monotonously. "Bubblegum is the candy overlord. All hail."

"I just don't get it," said Applejack. "How could something that was so easy for her be so impossible for us?"

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo trotted into the kitchen. "Granny, can we have uhhhhhhhh," Apple Bloom said. "What happened here?"

"Well, Apple Bloom, we're not the best country homemakers in Equestria," said Granny.

"Ummm...oooooohhhkay?" asked Apple Bloom.

"Hey, why'd you guys throw out all of these candy apples?" asked Scootaloo. "They look delicious!"

Sweetie Belle took one off the counter and licked it. "They _are_ delicious!"

"I'm sure they taste good, but they don't look like they're supposed to at all," said Applejack.

"How are they supposed to look?" Apple Bloom asked. Applejack handed her the laptop. She gasped. "Oh, hey! We made these before!"

"You WHAT?!" Applejack, Granny, and Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

"Yeah!" said Apple Bloom. "But I'm not surprised you couldn't. Let's show 'em, Crusaders."

Apple Bloom put an apple on a stick, and Scootaloo rolled out the candy. Apple Bloom held the apple upside down, and Sweetie Belle used unicorn magic to layer the colors into a perfect rainbow. "Ta da!" said Sweetie Belle.

"Magic?!" Granny said. "She...used...MAGIC?!"

"Ohhhhhhh," said Applejack and Pinkie Pie, and then they laughed.

"Well, now I just feel stupid," said Applejack. "Of course we couldn't do it! Ours dripped all over the place since we couldn't hold all the layers together at once!"

"That's CHEATING!" Granny shouted. "Bubblegum ain't no country homemaker! She's a fraud, I say!"

"They taste the same," said Sweetie Belle.

"Yeah, if you hadn't shown me the picture, I wouldn't have even known they were supposed to look like that," said Apple Bloom.

"You know what? You're right, Apple Bloom. We were so worried about matching the pictures, we didn't even think about the most important part!" said Applejack. "Pinkie, Granny, let's start over. This time, we're going to make candy apples _our_ way!"

"Ooooooh," said Pinkie Pie, looking at the computer. "Look at this CAKE! It's a pinata cake with REAL CANDY INSIDE! We should-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Applejack and Granny cried. They both slammed the computer shut.

"I mean...maybe another day, Pinkie Pie," said Applejack. "I've had enough of trying to mimic online ponies."

* * *

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **Everypony on the Internet is trying to show off. They all want you to know how talented they are and how great their life is. But everypony's life is different. Just because somepony can do something you can't, doesn't mean they're better or you're worse. Take candy for example. Somepony's candy might look better than yours, but what really matters is how it tastes. Ponies are the same way. It's what's on the inside that matters, not what's on the outside. Everypony online is only showing you what they want you to see, but we all have our unique talents and challenges, and no pony is perfect all the time, no matter what their blog says.**

 **Love,**

 **Applejack**


	14. Ponyville Royale

"Alright, my little ponies," said Cheerilee, "today we're going to talk about Ponyville history! What were the first ponies to settle in Ponyville?"

Pipsqueak raised his hoof. "Earth pony farmers," said Pipsqueak.

"Correct," said Cheerilee.

"Eeyup!" said Pipsqueak. Several other ponies laughed. Apple Bloom looked around in confusion. Big Mac's catch phrase was certainly well known, but why was Pipsqueak using it?

As the day continued, Apple Bloom noticed several ponies, mostly but not always boys, mimicking Big Mac's "eeyep" and "nnnope." Finally, she cracked.

"Alright, what's the big idea?" Apple Bloom asked Snips and Snails. "Why are ya'll making fun of my brother?"

"Making fun?" Snips asked. "Why, we love your brother!"

"His channel just never gets old," said Snails. "Eeyup, nnnope!"

"Channel? What are you talking about?" asked Apple Bloom.

"You mean you don't know?" Snips asked. "Apple Bloom, your brother is a Twitch legend!"

"What's Twitch?" she asked.

"It's for live streaming video games," said Snails. "We love to watch your brother because he says nothing in his streams except for 'eeyup,' when something good happens, and 'nnnope,' when something bad happens."

"Okay," said Apple Bloom, "so you're telling me you like to _watch my brother play video games?_ "

"Eeyup!" said Snips.

"Ummm," said Apple Bloom. "Okay then?"

* * *

Apple Bloom went to Twilight's to report her strange new Internet discovery. Twilight wasn't home; however, Spike greeted them. He pulled out his phone.

"Please describe the nature of your Internet problem," Spike said with a yawn. "The Princess of Wi-Fi, I mean Friendship, will respond to all requests in the order in which they are received. Please refrain from submitting multiple requests as this bogs down the system."

"Well, I wouldn't call it a problem, so much as weird," said Apple Bloom. "Evidently there's this website that allows people to watch other people playing video games?"

"Oh, Twitch!" Spike exclaimed.

"So you know about it?" asked Apple Bloom.

"You're looking at the number one streamer this side of Equestria!" Spike said proudly. "Well, number two for now, until your brother's fame dies down."

"Hold on now, what's that supposed to mean?"

"All he says is 'eeyup' and 'nnope'! It's a gimmick. It'll stop being funny after too long," said Spike. "I, on the other hand, offer thoughtful, in-depth game analysis."

"Well, maybe not everypony wants analysis," said Apple Bloom. "Maybe ponies like to laugh."

"But my channel will help you be a better gamer," said Spike. "I'd beat your brother at anything, too."

"PROVE IT!"

"Fine!" Spike exclaimed. "Tell Big Mac to pick a game, any game, and we'll face off!"

"Fine!" Apple Bloom said, and she stormed off.

"WAIT!" Spike called.

"WHAT?!" she replied.

"Ahem," he said. "Does this conclude your Princess request?"

"OOOH!" Apple Bloom huffed, then trotted off.

* * *

Big Mac was streaming when Apple Bloom came home. "BIG BROTHER BIG BROTHER!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Eeyup?" Big Mac asked, pausing _Grand Theft Carriage._

"Spike challenges you to a duel on Twitch," said Apple Bloom.

"Nnnope!" said Big Mac.

"No?!" Apple Bloom cried. "But you have to! He insulted you, Big Mac! He said you weren't a serious gamer!"

"Nnnope!" Big Mac said again, but this time, with a sense of surprise.

"Yes," said Apple Bloom. "He said pick a game, any game, and Spike will beat you."

"Eeyup," Big Mac said, thinking. He scrolled through his gaming library, then pointed to a title.

Apple Bloom read, "Night Forts?"

"Eeyup!" Big Mac declared.

"Alright, then," said Apple Bloom. "Night Forts it is!"

Big Mac returned to his game.

* * *

Apple Bloom was on her way back to Twilight's when she ran into Sweetie Belle. She explained what had happened.

"Hm," said Sweetie Belle. "I wonder if that's what Rarity is always doing."

"Rarity? On Twitch? Don't be silly," said Apple Bloom. "That's _way_ too nerdy for Rarity!"

"Well, she doesplay that Magictopia game," said Sweetie Belle. "I must confess I've logged on a few times myself. I have a flying rainbow dragon!"

"That does sound fun, but I have a tiny purple dragon that needs put in his place," said Apple Bloom. "Let's go!"

* * *

Spike threw his head back and laughed. "Night Forts? Big Mac thinks he's going to beat me in Night Forts?! Oh, that's rich!"

Twilight entered. "What's going on in here? Oh, hello, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle."

"Twilight, get a load of this one! Big Mac is challenging me in Night Forts!" Spike declared.

"Uh, okay," said Twilight, clearly uninterested.

"Night Forts is a watered down version of Pony Unlimited Battle Ground," Spike explained, "which I've been dominating since its release. Big Mac is toast!"

"Okay," said Twilight, still unimpressed. "So I take it you two are Team Big Mac, huh?" Twilight asked the girls.

"Eeyup!" Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle declared.

"Toast," said Spike.

"You know, I should watch this, for research," said Twilight. "Sweetie Belle, could we get Rarity involved? I know she has a big Magictopia following."

"Rarity doesn't play Night Forts, Twilight," said Sweetie Belle.

"Oh, aren't they similar?" asked Twilight. They all laughed at her.

"Here, Twilight, watch me play," said Spike, "and then go watch Rarity play Magictopia."

* * *

"So, that was violent," Twilight said after it was over. "Big Mac likes that game?"

"He picked it out of everything," said Apple Bloom.

"And Magictopia isn't violent, then?" Twilight asked.

"Well...," said Sweetie Belle.

* * *

"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!" Rarity cried. Princess Periwinkle and a gang of accomplices were beating up a Bug Bear.

"Okay, so, walk me through this," Twilight instructed, notepad levitating before her.

"Rarity and her team are in a boss battle," said Sweetie Belle. "After they kill this monster, they can enter the Mystical Portal of Ymir."

"Okay," said Twilight. "What's the Mystical Portal of Ymir?"

"It leads to the Dungeons of Gaesavger," said Twilight.

"And what's the Dungeons of Gaesavger?" Twilight asked, getting frustrated. "And how do you keep track of all of these names?"

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Rarity cried. "Marvelous job, my darlings, simply marvelous! The Jewel of Boaz shall be ours soon enough!"

"So, Rarity is playing this game with ponies from all over Equestria?" Twilight asked.

"Yes," said Sweetie Belle. "They actually have to collaborate to strategize often."

"Fascinating!" exclaimed Twilight. "So, umm, what's the Jewel of Boaz?"

Rarity put down her headphones. "The Jewel of Boaz grants your character super wealth and health," she explained. "It's the most valuable item in the entire game, and very beautiful!"

"This world has an economy?" Twilight asked. "Goodness, ponies sure put a lot of thought into this."

"So, I hear that Spike and Big Mac are in a bit of a kerfuffle?" Rarity asked.

"Spike dissed Big Mac hard core, so Big Mac challenged him to a duel on Twitch," said Apple Bloom.

"More like _you_ challenged Spike for Big Mac," Sweetie Belle corrected, "but yes. We thought maybe you'd want to be a commentator."

"Oh, no, darlings," said Rarity. "Night Forts is _nothing_ like Magictopia. I wouldn't know what to say."

"Told you," said Sweetie Belle.

"You'd be much better asking someone like-"

"PINKAMENA DIANE PIE!" Pinkie Pie flew through the open window. "Hiya, guys! I heard there's gonna be a Ponyville Royale?"

"Ponyville Royale! Hey, that's a good name!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"We're looking for a commentator," said Sweetie Belle.

"I'd LOVE to commentate!" Pinkie exclaimed. "I was born to commentate! I live to commentate! Commentating is Pinkie!"

"Then it's settled," said Twilight. "Pinkie Pie will commentate the match."

"Psst, Twilight!" Pinkie whispered.

"Yes, Pinkie?"

"What's commentate mean?"

* * *

Pinkie Pie had recently began a YouTube channel called "Pinkie Pie Reacts," so commentating the match would be relatively simple for her. The day of the match arrived. Twilight sat with Spike.

"Don't be too cocky, Spike," Twilight warned. "Big Mac plays video games just as much as you do, and he plays Night Forts way more than you."

"What's this?" Spike asked. "Is Twilight Sparkle caring about video games?"

"For research purposes," Twilight defended.

"HELLO EQUESTRIA!" Pinkie Pie declared from the computer screen. "And welcome to the very first PONYVILLE ROYALE! Today, three of Ponyville's finest will be squaring off in a round of Night Forts to determine who is the best gamer!"

"Three?" Twilight asked. "Who's the-"

"We have Big McIntosh or Big Mac from Sweet Apple Acres. Are you there, Big Mac?"

"Eeeyup!" Big Mac declared.

"The swaggin' dragon himself, Spike!"

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN, BIG MAC!" Spike shouted.

"NNOPE!" Big Mac countered.

"Geez, Spike, that was a little much," said Twilight.

"That's how I roll," said Spike.

"And straight from Magictopic, PRINCESS PERIWINKLE!"

"WHAT?!" Spike and Twilight said.

"Hello, darlings!" Rarity said. "I know this is probably surprising for some of you, but, there are actually quite a few skills from Magictopia transferable to Night Forts. So I gave it a whirl, and I must say, the rush is exhilarating! Hi Big Mac! Hello Spikey-wikey!"

"Rarity!" Spike protested. "You can't...ugh! Fine! You're going down too!"

"Oh, this _is_ going to be interesting! GO RARITY!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Alright, players, are you ready?" Pinkie asked.

"Eeeyup," said Big Mac.

"READY TO KICK SOME PONY AS...SOON AS THE GAME STARTS!" Spike said, glancing at Twilight. Twilight glared at Spike in disapproval.

"Ready to kick ass, dear," said Rarity.

Each of the characters spawned in a separate area. There were no non-pony avatars, so Spike was a green and purple stallion.

"Alright, I'm in the Terrible Towers," said Spike. "I'm going to head toward the clock tower, because it contains-"

"Eeyup! Eeyup! Eeyup! Eeyup!" Big Mac said.

"Big Mac, do you have to say that every time you pick something up?" Spike asked.

"Eeyup," said Big Mac.

A missile landed on Spike's avatar. "Lord of Dis ELIMINATED YOU!" the screen read.

"WHAT?! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? THERE ARE ONLY THREE OF US IN THIS GAME! HOW DID-?" Spike shouted.

An ominous laugh filled their ears. "Did you all really think you could hold a Ponyville Royale without me?" Discord said.

"You don't live in Ponyville! How did you even get into our stream?" Spike asked.

"Oh, yes, your little private stream is sooooooo secure," Discord said sarcastically.

"And you're telling me that you just happened to find a Magic Missile?" Spike pressed.

"I'm just lucky I guess," said Discord.

"I've seen your channel. All you do is cheat and teach others to cheat," said Spike. "Big Mac! Rarity! Do you hear me?"

"Eeeyup," said Big Mac.

"Ohhh, Spikey-wikey, darling, don't distract me! I'm trying to win!" Rarity said.

"Forget winning right now. You guys need to team up to take Discord out of the game," said Spike.

"Eeeeyup," said Big Mac.

"So you'll do it, Big Mac?" asked Rarity.

"Eeeeyup," said Big Mac.

"Alright, meet me at Muddy Meadow. Ugh, what a disgusting name," said Rarity. "Ahem. Anyways, I've got a plan."

"Eeeeeyup," said Big Mac.

"Now, hold on, guys, that's not fair! We're supposed to be learning who the best gamer is!" Discord said.

"FAIR?!" Spike exclaimed. "You hacked your way into our game! You don't get to talk about fair!"

"Nnnnope," agreed Big Mac.

"You know what, Big Mac? I'm sorry I made fun of your earlier. This yep, nope schtick is kinda growing on me," said Spike.

Big Mac laughed. "Eeeyup."

"Looks like we've got a change in format, folks! Princess Periwinkle and Big McIntosh are teaming up against the Lord of Dis!" announced Pinkie Pie. "A much juicier plot if you ask me. Princess Periwinkle is of course a master strategist in her home realm of Magictopia."

"I see you, Big Mac," said Rarity.

"Nnnope," said Big Mac.

"What do you mean nope? Who else could it be?" Rarity asked, then squealed. "Oh no! Discord is here!"

"SURPRISE!" Pinkie Pie shouted. A pink pony avatar bounced up and down next to Rarity's avatar.

"PINKIE PIE?! You're in the game too?" asked Rarity.

"It sounded like fun, so I joined at the last minute," said Pinkie.

"Have you ever played this before?" Rarity asked.

"Nopey-dopey-lopey."

"Ohhhhkay," said Rarity. "Did you get any weapons?"

"I just collected bananas," said Pinkie.

"Lovely," said Rarity sarcastically. "Big Mac! Get here soon!"

"Nnnope," said Big Mac.

"You're out?" asked Rarity.

"Nnnope," said Big Mac.

"But he'll be out soon!" Discord laughed.

"Oh no! Pinkie, we have to help Big Mac! Big Mac, where are you?" asked Rarity.

"Eeee...Fractured Farms," said Big Mac.

"Oh, thank you so much for actually answering the question, darling!" Rarity said. "Alright, Pinkie, we've got to..."

"PINKAMENA DIANE PIE!"

"Ummm...Pinkie? Where did you go?" Rarity asked.

"What's this? Bananas? I didn't even know this game _had_ bananas! Nice touch, I must say," said Discord.

"YOU'RE ALREADY THERE? PINKIE, NO! I HAD A PLAN!" Rarity shrieked.

"But I had an exploding banana!" Pinkie said.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPE!" Big Mac cried.

"You have eliminated Big McIntosh," Pinkie read. "Oopsies. I made a mistake."

"OOOF!" Rarity shouted. "Okay. Okay. Now LISTEN TO ME, PINKIE, AND DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE...!"

"Okey-dokey-lo...Lord of Dis has eliminated you," said Pinkie. "Welp, I guess I can't do anything else!"

"It's just me and you, Princess Periwinkle," said Discord. "I am so happy to have this time together, just the two of us, don't you, Rarity? We _never_ hang out, just the two of us!"

"Oh, yes, darling, and I would love to catch up over tea after I UTTERLY DESTROY YOU!" Rarity cried.

"Wow," said Spike. "Rarity is intense!"

* * *

Rarity and Discord both built forts. Rarity's fort was made of the finest materials and constructed to look like a castle tower. Discord built a metal box. They sat in their forts, doing nothing, for three whole minutes.

"Somepony has to come out sooner or later," said Discord.

"Or some dragonequus," said Rarity.

"How about on the count of three?" asked Discord. "One, two..."

"EAT THIS, DISCORD!"

"NO FAIR, I WAS GOING TO ATTACK BEFORE THREE FIRST! Oh, you're no fun."

Their characters lobbed everything they had at each other. At the end, Rarity's fort was disintegrated. Discord's avatar, a black and blue pony, left its fort and did a victory dance.

Discord announced, "AND THERE YOU HAVE IT, PONIES! THE LORD OF DIS IS THE ULTIMATE GAMER!"

Rarity cried, "EXPLODING BANANA!"

"WHAT?!"

The banana hit, and Discord's avatar exploded. Rarity's screen said, "#1 VICTORY ROYALE!"

"But HOW?!" exclaimed Discord. "I DISINTEGRATED your fort!"

"Oh, Discord, I wasn't in that fort," said Rarity. "I was in the brush pile behind you."

"But...but...but!"

"I know you wouldn't suspect that Princess Periwinkle, the glamorous Fashion Goddess, would hide in an icky brush pile. So, there you have it. I guess the greatest gamer in Ponyville is RARITY!"

* * *

The mane six all gathered at Twilight's to celebrate Rarity's victory and the spirit of sportsmanship.

"I got so much great data for Princess Celestia!" Twilight gushed.

"That was AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash said, high-hoofing Rarity. "I was on the edge of my cloud watching!"

"You know, Rainbow Dash, I'm surprised you don't play those games," said Applejack. "That fast-paced stuff seems right up your alley."

"Applejack, I'm far too busy to play those games," said Rainbow Dash. "But really, Rarity, awesome job."

"But I really couldn't have done it without Pinkie," said Rarity. "I had no idea the bananas exploded."

"Me neither!" said Pinkie. "We learned something new together!"

"Twilight, how is Spikey-wikey doing?" asked Rarity.

"He's pretty crushed from the defeat," said Twilight. "I have him writing the letter to Princess Celestia, though."

"Oh, would you look at the time," said Rainbow. "I need to step outside to call Spitfire for a second, alright?"

"No problem," said Fluttershy. "Hey, what a minute, what's that on your phone?"

"Nothing!" Rainbow declared, holding the screen away from Fluttershy. Applejack looked.

"It's that farm game!" Applejack said. "Rainbow, I can't believe you still play that!"

"I...ohhh! My farm is the biggest and best, alright? Leave me alone!" She bent down to harvest her crops.

* * *

 **Dear Princess Celestia,**

 **I learned quite a few things from my Twitch experience. First, I learned that everypony has different game styles. Rarity and I are strategizers and take our games very seriously, but people like Pinkie Pie and Big Mac are just in it to have fun. And there's nothing wrong with either! I knew a whole lot about that game, and I was the first eliminated. No matter what your game style is, though, one thing we can all agree on is that cheating is wrong. When Discord hacked his way into our game, we all had a common enemy, because cheaters spoil everypony's fun! If you have to cheat to win, then you haven't really won at all. So even though I didn't win the game, I'm glad Rarity was able to defeat Discord. Also, I can't wait for a rematch!**

 **Love,**

 **Spike**


End file.
